OPEN MIC
April, 2005

 

TRAPPED INSIDE
Heather Marble
I've had no life since the day I was born,
I've had to do every thing for you till I was torn.
I have no friends or family, I'm all by myself,
Just like a doll put away on the shelf.
I would give anything for you to hit me in the face,
If only I could get out of this place...
Because, there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide!
I'm in this dark life just trapped here inside!
There's nowhere to go, with no way out...
I wish I could just let go of everything and SHOUT!
But no one can here me, because I'm trapped here in side.
Today there are so many misunderstandings,
And sometimes I wish I could just fly away with wings.
But I know its not that easy!
I need to look through my eyes, beyond what I only see...
But my life is already screwed up because...
There's nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide!
I'm in this dark life, just trapped here in side.
There's nowhere to go, with no way out...
I wish I could just let go of everything and SHOUT!
But no one can hear me, because I'm trapped inside!

 

-0-

FLY WITH THE ANGELS
-by Rachelle C. del Rosario
 
why do angels fly?
I asked one day
they're free of sorrows, worries and fears
my mother always say
so my friend if you're in pain
fly with the angels and soar the skies
play and lie in the cotton clouds
and then go to the rainbow and slide
my friend bad memories always fade
and the good ones will come and stay
never regret things you cant control or change
keep the lesson you've learned from your mistake
let go of the pain and lead your way
fly with the angels my dear friend
for there's always hope
and hope will never end..

-0-

 
'Sometimes'- Sometimes to me is great, sometimes to me travels around
counties, cities, and states not forgetting the countries and island
outside of the United States, Many sometimes live for what is now, Many
sometime live for what is going to be if, it is for Allah people will think
it is a mystery, Sometimes we live for both but, do not be deceived and
plant the wrong seed, Sometimes we weep, Sometimes we sing, lets praise the
LORD ALLAH for creating all things, Sometimes we add, multiply, and divide
let's use this in offering our tithes, Sometimes we are mean this is ones
own flesh just tell that evil spirit to flee, It is Allah(God) you trust,
Sometimes we smile so keep believing in God's word and go the extra miles,
There are many that hungry in this worldly gate, sometimes help out a
brother or sister to feed their family as we wait, For the time I have been
on this earth Allah Who Came in the Person of Master Fard Muhammad has
allowed me to see it is never sometimes good to be evil so do not be
deceived, The great thing about sometimes to me is sometimes... just
sometimes is someone's everyday quest.

Mark X oneof Godschampions

-0-

Frozen Existence
Whitney Maxwell
This smiling makes my face ache
A frozen expression throbbing; meaningless and impersonal
So transparent this facade, yet no one cares
 
This spurious grin; ridiculous, futile
Unnatural this look upon my calloused heart
Can no one the the blackness
The despair that lies behind my eyes
 
How superficial life has become
never peering beyond the surface
a life of hopelessness
 
Will no-one ever see beyond this expression
frozen upon my face?
my frozen existence?

-0-

Dani- to shawna-chelsea and matt

Since you kame here
all my life has been insecure
my friends betray me
i wantto leave
my "best friend" Shawna was always there to comfort
there to steel
there to be there wen im pissed
Youve seen me wen im mad
youve seen me wen im sad
but uve not seen me while im outta it
and wondering why im not glad
To have u as friends
but not right now
she has been a great one since now
but now she's just a cow
to be a traitor
ever since we broke
not knowing where to go
shes t8kng avantage of my life
i slit my wrists
i want to die
seems no1 kare so good-bye

-0-

Faded Memory
Joey Herring

A cry that comes from deep inside.
A screaming feeling when you close your eyes.
An image portrayed in your sight.
The voice in your head telling you itíll be alright.
And the reoccurring dream you have every night.
The feelings that you fight.
A faded picture in your mind.
The image fades more with time.
You think youíll be just fine.
But broken and confused you cross the line.
Into insanity you creep.
Because of an image that wouldnít let you sleep.
All alone you realize this picture is what you need.
But itís to late, now itís all just a fading memory.
And you canít have what you canít see.

-0-

SPRING HAS SPRUNG
Jamie Smith
The flowers are blooming so i'm just asumming that spring has begon if that is so than spring has sprung

-0-

Focus
Adisson Blayk
 
Focus me
Inside my head
My face
Pressed gainst the bed post.
Pressed again, against instead
Gainst lace
Dressed up in plain clothes.
 
I focus me
Find it takes three
Though two decide
To stay closed.
My focusing
May focus me
Though I'm a guest in
Strange clothes.

-0-

I opened my minds eye and my hearts lips
I cried out for you.
I needed you to be there to hold my hand. I needed your support.
You were too busy.
You were as cold and captivating as ice.
You were my dream come true.
You couldn't care less about us You turned us away.
I wasn't good enough for you.
You disregarded and discarded us like yesterdays garbage.
I needed you .....We both needed you.
Screaming for you with my heart's mouth.
Searching wildly for you with my minds eye,
I realized that you were nowhere to be found.
I did not feel him go
What I felt was the searing pain that his going left.
He was to have been ours.
Our Aiden Omari Thompson.
A little bit of me.
A little bit of you.
Do you ever think about him Sdiki.

by
Rose Bailey

-0-

"MAKE IT UNTITLED"
MELANIE BATTERSON
i'm having problems letting go, i'm having problems being free deep inside my head these words fill up my emptiness my fingers glide, the guide, they ride across this tree to any other eyes this all sounds like crap but not to my soul not to me the only thing i know is everything's fucked up all i see are fucked up things and fucked up human beings and none of it i know i saw a man with a funny hat and a limp-legged cat and i had to ask him why his only response was darling your garden will grow but you first must water the sky he gave me something to make me smile he said wait a while i said that's fine i think i'll fly if this was as our world was viewed if this was how our kicks were chewed i think all hope for cuttin' the rope would become a fantasy and the world would take a trip and find final harmony but that's kind of wavey cuz our world ain't gravy so i think i'll have a cry i'll place my order jot it down just don't forget the introspective slap or you might fall off the map the tape will come loose you'll have pennies in your shoes and your day will all be crap you'll find out soon, i think around noon that this all really does make sense just don't forget to wake in tense and i'll carry you away on the moon

-0-
today is the day you realize everything has changed but why do you care your head was so high as the world flew by and you just let it go just let it slide but now you can't rewind and you have nothing to hide because you have nothing maybe a dream a thought a wish but you've been there before and it takes you no where now you're no more just a blank stare
Melanie 

-0-

I am but a grain of sand on a sandy beach,
I am but one thin hair on a woman's head,
I am but a bright star in the night sky,
 
But I will be the grain of sand that will one day be a rock,
and I will be the thin hair that will never stay in place,
and I will be the bright star that leads you to freedom,
 
Because I will make a difference.
Meg Peters

-0-

I Don't Understand
-Indiana Gurrl
Why can't we live in peace, not fear?
I don't understand
Why are we far from friendship, not near?
I don't understand
Why is there little love and much hate?
I don't understand
Why to our problems are we to realize them late?
I don't understand
Why do we leave the ones we need most?
I don't understand
Why don't we try, but we give up the ghost?
I don't understand
Why do we think there can't be enough?
I don't understand
Why does life have to be so rough?
I don't understand
Why is there killing and abuse all around?
I don't understand
Why have we put our dignity underground?
I don't understand
Why can't life be perfect?
Because we think it can't be that way, and I don't understand that either.

-0-
Life
by ADAM LEONARD

Life is full of wars, fight, falling out
Some say your born, fall in love and die
But is it really how you see it?
 
Life is only how you want it to be
It could be good or bad
You make Ur life how u wants
So donít go wasting it
 
You only live once
Once Ur life is up its up
And then u wished u changed a few things
Maybe small things like the colour socks u wore when u was 5
Or the colour top u wore to go out with on Ur first date
 
But its little things like that in life that makes life worth living
Maybe u hated Ur first fall out with a friend
Life is full of taking risks and full of ifs and buts
 
If u have ever thought of killing Ur self
Maybe U should stop
Think of the people round u
People who died not because they wanted to but cuz they had no choose
U have a choose in life so make the right one
 
Is suicide the right answer?
Will it really solve Ur problems or make them worse for others?
Thereís are some of the questions u need to ask Ur self
 
But y am I writing this im writing this because I care.
Iíve realised suicide isnít a easy way out
You need to stop and think before taking action

-0-
Bells Ringing
       Dorothy Snook
Bells ringing from the country church
Inviting you to come in
They ring across the valley this Sunday morn
To help you, a new life to begin
The bells are God's angels calling to you
With music, oh so sweet
Come in, dear one, and open your heart
My Jesus, I'm sure you'll meet
The bells are ringing for you and for me
It's here where we learn of God's love
It's enough to keep us the whole week long
Bells ringing, God's angels from above.
 

-0-

ďLost LifeĒ
Maggie Ivylee
there is nothing more to this life anymore
no glimmer of sun shine
no more hopes or dreams
just a girl standing away from everyone
she has no expression on her face
no sign of emotion in her frail heart
she doesnít know why she lets people use her
hit her
sheís just there no reason
letting the blood slip from her arm
and letting the tears fall
she wonders if anyone would care if she took her life
no one would, no one knows she exits
so know she stands on the edge and takes the deadly jump

-0-

Donít quit
faith
When things go wrong as they some times will when the road youíre trudging seems all up hill when the funds are low and the debts are high and you want to smile but you have to sigh when care is pressing you down a bit rest if you must but donít you quit.
 
Life is queer with its twists and turns as everyone of us some times learns and many a failure turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out donít give up though the pace seems slow you might succeed with another blow
 
Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man often the struggler has given up when he might have  won the victors cup and he learned too late when the night slipped down  how close he was to the golden crown
 
Success is a failure turned inside
Out
The silver tint of the clouds of
Doubt
And you can never tell how close you
Are
It may be near when it seems
Afar
So stick to the fight when youíre hardest hit
Itís when things are worst when you mustnít  quit

-0-

The Tickle of Wings
c 2004 LindaRitnour
On my knees saying a prayer
Felt something disturb the air
 
Then shivers went down my spine
Looked around and all was fine
 
Went back to my words of praise
Felt the hairs on my neck raise
 
Lifted my hand felt the spot
To find something I did not
 
Giving thanks on bended knee
Asking you to hear each plea
 
Something brushed across my sleeve
I'm not alone I believe
 
My Guardian Angels here
She's come to dry each bled tear
 
My soul feels such joy it sings
Feeling the tickle of wings
 
-0-
               
ITS THE FAMILY THE FRIENDS  THE TRUST  THE LIES THE WONDERING WHY THINGS AREN'T FALLING INTO PLACE I FELL LIKE ITS A WASTE OF TIME TAKING A BREATH EACH DAY BUT THERE'S SOMEONE OR SOMETHING HOLDING ME UP EVERYDAY AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THEM MY LIFE WOULD BE A WASTE

Lajenee  Fane

-0-

how could I have let you down again
why does this have to be
now i'm sitting here all alone again
my past coming back to me
 
how could I have let this happen
so much has gone bad
the thing is I caused it
now i'm missing whut I had
 
I didnít mean to hurt you
didnít mean to make you cry
now i'm wanting my life back
I swear I didnít mean to lie
 
please save me now
i'm in over my head
sing me to sleep
as I lay awake in bed

malleri fowler 

-0-

loner
by megan .c
 why should i have all the answers
 is my heart not as heavy as yours
 why should i carry all the wounds
 from the battle that i have won
 years from now i will carry the scars
 from the hate but i will prevail
 because i am a loner i have nothing to lose
 i live alone i walk alone and only talk to those
 who spoke to me first my life is in shambles
 i prefer it this why i made this bed were
 now i must lie
 

-0-

REALITY OF DESTINY
by Shawn McCreary

broken and twisted
walking in circles i'm falling behind
this macabre dance of perverted lies
looking for answers
absence of truth falling like rain
ocean of tears drowning in pain
dreaming in pieces
drinking dirt to stay alive
emotional prison i cannot survive
loveless and lost
feeling the empty decay of lonely
longing for resurrection from me
lightless of dark
insanity's doors closing within
whirlwind of fate i cannot win

-0-

ORIGINAL FACE
Marc Creamore
The hypnotic angel dwells within,
   turgid inside a body mask of flesh and bones,
      unable to transcend the essential agony
         that entraps us in the bowels of the Earth.
No light here, no sensation, no glimpse of God head,
    blocked from our ever seeking eye
      by the masters of evangelical illusion.
 
Oh relentless demonic presence,
    O chastising jet-set purveyor of pompous piety . . .
 
    GET THEE AWAY FROM THESE,
    OUR BODHI TREES OF THE MIND
 
    And let us meditate on the essence
 
    OF ORIGINAL FACE.

-0-

What a shame...
Emma Alexis 
I guarantee that when you read this you wont know its you. You'll sympathize but roll your eyes 'cause that's what you do. It's hard for me, why can't you see, but of course it's nothing new. You hurt me everyday and still you say it's never 'cause of you. You turn it around but still I've found I do love you too. But why dream about happiness? They'll never dare look in the mirror to see thier flaws, 'cause then they'll see, it's NOT me and they'll have to change OH GOD FORBID! They'll lose thier fangs, they'll never look the same, what a shame...

-0-

ECHO
Cherie Heard
Memories echo through my mind,
Slip through my fingers
Like the sands of time.
Year by year they fade so fast
Washing away what's left of my past,
I'm losing a part of me
I will never know,
More quickly now the memories go.
I want to remember,
I want to see,
Who it was I used to be.
The memories are gone
Just barely there,
Little more than fog and wisps of air.
I want to remember, I want to see,
Who is in the mirror looking back at me.

-0-

My Mind-
W. Tyler Allen

I need to face the facts
but i cant relax because my mind wanders
and gets off its tracks and thinks of you
I feel the need to try to speed away from the disarray of the recent day and try to say the truth,
but we both know how much far we go we both end up screwed..
Because despite the recent news ive always felt misused and abused
and despite the miss said triumphs ive always had the blues
Over rated, jaded, falsely translated to the inner circle we call our lives,
well mine was filled with jagged knives
and an edge bringing me to a ledge of despair of darkness
that harboured my labor in favor of the way my mind spoke. . . to me..
my misspoken sadness was my own madness in my mind that i needed to overcome and find. . . in my self
My self is its own winding road,
and my mind is about to explode
For within me i am my own worst enemy its all in my mind..

-0-

"parental Suicide"
 SPC. Richard Pipkin. U.S. Army.
I tell myself I'll be alright, I'll make it through another night, that its not worth dieing. I try and convince myself, but I know I'm lying. I cried in the portashitter last night on guard, life is becoming increasingly hard. I don't evasion myself going vary far. Sometimes i listen to music that reminds me of my dad and the chance that I never had, to tell him i love him or that i'm sorry for being bad. I know it sounds sad but death is all I've known. MY life, I've tried to take my own, way back when, now people act like it never happened. I remember back when my mom died I just don't remember how long I cried. I'm angry that my parents committed suicide.

-0-
SILENCE
ELYZIBETH ELI
 
A cry is heard
Echoing in the silence.
A plea is spoken,
"Stop the violence!"
A child is seen,
Being harshly beaten.
A parent relentless,
Never defeated.
A rush of strength,
Running feet,
This girl SHOULD NOT be beat.
While the father watches,
The child flees.
Unable to return
To a world of glees.
THis happens every day,
And it's time to stand and say:
Stop the violence,
End the pleas!
That are echoing in the silence.

-0-

MY AVENUE OF BROKEN DREAMS
James Richardson

I stroll along the avenue
My hopes and dreams come into view
From boyhood dreams of a baseball player
Many dreams of different layers
To adult dreams of friends and love
For those we thank heaven above
These tears that flow to create a stream
As I walk my avenue of broken dreams.

-0-

Alone
Travis Heltz 
Tears of joy
Tears of hate
Tears of anger
What decides our fate
So many questions, so few answers
For those who live to dream or dream to live
Its the only way out of this dark frigid world
So trapped in this cold feeling of fear
Thinking what's to come in the next so called year
Do we know or do we hide
What we come to believe is our self-pitied pride
But the days keep coming as they always will
Its what forces me to swallow this fake-happiness pill
Alone I stand, Stand alone I will
Until the answers come along which cause me ill

-0-

I need to be whole
Lano
i feel that i need to talk to Somebody about this,
there is nO way i can keep it inside of me,
foR a long time i've had thIs feeling,
i Need to let it go i just dont know how,
if this feeling is Accepted then I will no longer dream of unreachable things,
but if this feeLing is declined then the thing that i prize mOst will fall apart,
that is when i will feel it more than anything,
my life is consumed by it,
i'Ve never understood why i feEl bad about it,
it is the happiest feeling i've ever felt,
i just need to be accepted bY the other half,
then this feeling will be cOmplete'
i need to be a whole or else it will tUrn out that nobody wants half of anything

-0-

I wish
by alicia bown

              I wish i could fly up in the sky with the birds
              so high.
 
              I wish i could understand why life can't be grand.
 
              I wish i could make the flowers grow in hours.
 
              I wish we had more time.
              

-0-

Why does the world outcast me?
I am only a boy of 15 years old.
Already i have been through more than anyone ever should.
I was beat by a sadistic father who is so high on himself that he has to beat on his own children to make himself happy.
He uses his kids to get back at their mother.
What bullshit.
He could honestly give a fuck less about his own children  so he uses them like work slaves.
All they are to him is money in his pocket after taxes.
What kind of a manipulative Man would use his own flesh and blood to get back at a hopeless mother who does not deserve any of this at all.
SHe feels so depressed that she attempted suicide and didn't go through with it.
What a sick and sadistic prick who cant even stand to be a good father to his children.
He deserves to have his kids taken away from him and not have a chance to keep them.
He really needs to learn to get a life and take his responsibility to be nice and fatherly to his own children.
he should be locked up and never let out.

Matt Reeves

-0-

Darkness
Shayla Bakhshai
Darkness is a place of fright,
for I wish to be in the light.
To no longer be scared,
for this is what I have always feared.
"Let me out!"
Is my cry of surrender.
Your touch yet so tender,
Helps me get through the darkest night.

-0-

 

Memories of A Suicidal Sophomore
mandy Huot
Pain- why me? I wish it could just go away. Why must my life be so full of hate and pain?
Tears- they fall from my eyes every day. Sometimes hours on end. Tears of sadness, never tears of joy. These tears hurt, they are tears of rejection and loneliness. They burn themselves into my skin, my heart and mind.
Thoughts- Sad, lonely ones- ones only depressed people think- thoughts of what the world would be without me, if my family and friends would even notice Iím gone. I cry myself to sleep some nights, other days I cry until my ďriverĒ is dry. Why most it be me, why do I feel this way, 16 year olds donít think of suicide. Each day I say ďToday is itĒ but I never do it. Thereís a person in my mind, a friend, named Janice, who is always there, a call away, an e mail. She listens. She holds me and cries with me, tells me not to worry, everything will be ok. Janice is my rock, my hope, my strength, my life. Without her, Iíd be gone. I have attempted with the knife once before, but shed no blood, left no mark. The reason? Once again, Janice stopped me. I havenít attempted since then and am getting emotionally better. I am a suicide survivor thanks to God, and Janice.

-0-

The Red Garter
Tamara Beryl Latham
We moved through a city
whose neon lights flashed
life on the street;
obscure to some,
yet visible to all
 
Where lampposts,
leveled in concrete,
flash red and green
for blue satin and black lace.
 
And the red garter,
delectation of some,
tombstone for others,
lies stiff on the curb.

-0-

CRY!!!!!!
Sunni Bromley
Sitting there crying on the floor, In my bedroom trying to lock my door My boyfriend broke my heart, My friends broke my trust, My teachers broke my grades. My parents took my stuff.
Why do things like this happen, I don't understand Why do things happen to me, over a man Everything happened because, I gave him my trust Everything happened because, I mistaken love for lust I thought I loved him, I truly did I thought he loved me, but he played me instead Know my grades are so low, I cant get them back My parents hate me, and there's a big gap My friends don't trust me, they think I'm all lies My boyfriend played me, and made me cry So this is the end, I'm done you can sigh Just remember, after every laugh comes a cry
 

-0-

De Gull
Dennis E. Dolin
While the ice caps are melting north and south
I hear the bellowing of volcanoes, let me out.
We escape to an unknown land, De Gull
But there is not any phone to call!
 
The ground is crumbling, and rising high
While molten Lava, Smear's the sky.
Wildlife feared, but not its own nature,
Man himself twisted the world into paper
 
Yet fire and water rise, but sign no fall
They run, and they fly, seeking the way to De Gull.
Invading of space, man's position in waste!
Minds received greed, now it has no taste.
 
The thief, the liar, the who knows who
Environmental resource's, man has blew!
Lights in my eye's, bring pain to my thought,
Remember this then from God you've been taught!

-0-

O FEET!
..by Spiros Zafiris

O feet!
i must rub you more often
your gratitude is resounding!

-0-

                 
REALITY
by Kristina Kalpaklieva
 
Reality, I so despise you
for what you show me can`t be real.
I know not why you`re trying to convince me
that pain`s the only thing I`ll ever feel.
I try not to be begging mercy
but it`s too hard not to give up
when I am robbed of everything I ever wished for
and loneliness has caught me in its trap.
My only friend? That was my hatred.
For me too good was everybody else.
My only truth was: there`s noone to help me.
So I did everything myself.
My every dream was dying faithless.
The hope I prayed for never came.
Reality, I so despise you
for after all this time you`re still the same.

-0-

pack your memories
and leave,
my toothache!

Daniela Josifova  

 
                -0-
     
 
    Plus Dimension
Gary C Gibson 
 In the rushing dawn
a waveform is yours
quiet, it is so
each time moments flow
about a sphere of time

 Fields, flowers grown now
voters buy the green
spaces bt new crowds
planted deep draft dreams
in a brief world align

 On this present day
of abstract shapes, forms
maths of spin vectors
values give quick rows
for harvest lifeís sold.

-0-
Suspicion is something that lurks in the heart of the most innocent
There it hides and waits
Suspicion is like a child
It waits for it's best friend jealousy
Once jealousy comes around, suspicion can play out in the open
Once jealousy and suspicion are together they create insecurity
Insecurity is a mischievous child that toys with emotions
Emotions is afraid of insecurity, because insecurity is a bad influence
Insecurity pressures emotions until he becomes anger
With anger comes hurtful words, fighting and heartbreak
But anger has an enemy, an enemy that when given a chance, can defeat him
She is called forgiveness and she is beautiful and compassionate
Forgiveness brings her friends happiness, peace and love
And together they push anger, insecurity and jealousy away
and suspicion goes back to his hiding place in the far corners of the heart

Diana                       

 

Poems Copyright © designated authors 2005.
Page Copyright © AHApoetry.com 2005.

Go check out the AHA Archives for more poetry.
If you would like to send in your poem to Open Mic.
Go to the AHA!POETRY Homepage for new ideas.