Open Mic Archives
April, 1999 - Part Five

Because of the spring flood of poems, the first half of April's poems are already in the archives or a click here will bounce you directly to the proper place. Thanks to everyone who sent so many fine poems.

Up-dated April 25, 1999

Esther B. Swensen

Out of somewhere's deep remembrance,

Plaintive, haunting, the call of a whippoorwill

On a quiet, sultry summer night,

Echoes down through the years--

And I am taken back a long, long way,

And am a child again....

Ah, New England, I would caress you as a lover;

I would embrace your white birch charms;

I would have you love me in return - with gentle passion

And autumn red maple fire - nothing less will do;

I want to woo you ardently and clasp you to my breast;

I want to woo you better than before,

As a woman grown and no longer child.

You never left my heart, staunch lover-friend;

But now, once again, my eyes will feast on you,

There where you waited long for me--

North of the South I chose.



Fourteen more young wasted lives

And one teacher who gave all

And once more, the questions

Why, no one heard the call.

Why, two young minds and hearts

Were filled with so much hate

Why, they took it on themselves

To seal, all those others' fate.

There is no answer, that makes sense

No way to sort it out

And we should all, ask just what

We, really are about.

Why, the future is no more

For all of those young souls

Why, no more hopes and dreams

No chance to reach their goals.

Why, with all our expertise

And, our technology

Why, we can't stop the madness

In our "great" (?) society.

There is no answer, that makes sense

No way to sort it out

And we should all, ask just what

We, really are about.

Why, our children can get guns

Make bombs to kill and maim

Why, parents think, "No, not mine!"

(Don't play, that deadly game.)

Why, we say every time

"It shouldn't happen here!"

Why, we don't take it serious

And shudder with fear.

There is no answer, that makes sense

No way to sort it out

And we should all, ask just what

We, really are about.

Del "Abe" Jones



~~dedicated to those who were involved with the incident in colorado~~

they walked around in pain,

thought they had nothing to gain..


they thought they didn't fit in,

so instead they committed a sin


innocent people got in their way,

some were sent to their graves on that horrible day...


now family and friends are filled with sorrow,

praying their loved ones will return to them tomorrow...


they have now lost someone the love forever,

when will they return?....never.

these kids had problems no one can comprehend,

to the heart i wish i could lend.

there are so many now that must mourn and cry...



The conflicting emotions that pulse through my veins

I'll have to chalk it up to my growing pains.

Getting older is my life

one day maybe to be a wife

Tears & laughter curse my days

Living life, movies or plays?

Loved by one, to love another

Wishing I had a meaningful lover.

Lost in emotions

that go pulsing through my veins

hits my hard

those growing pains.

Cut my hair, for an older look.

actually, looking as if I can read a book.

Wanting to be taken seriously enough

Living life is completely rough.

Smiling sometimes when I know I am sad.

Knowing someday

someone will make me glad.

Love & devotion

curse my veins

How do I deal

With my growing Pains?


The Filly and the Old Horse Trader

Beauty in line, grace in motion,

a filly thoroughbred;

but when bridle comes to notion,

she rears and turns her head.

Be calm my beauty, and station,

I have meant you no harm;

an old horse trader at auction,

I rose straight to your charm.

The paddock gate is open now,

no chain is in your way;

no bridle will be in your tow,

nor tie to make you stay.

Run free and wild, but if, ever,

in need or seeking balm,

remember that old horse trader,

with sugar in his palm.

Stewart Brown

for Natalie .....4/23/99



He kisses her sensually in her mouth,

But he does not feel any arousal.

His thoughts drift from one thought to another.

Eventually his thoughts settle on a man.

He wonders when the kiss will be over,

But it just continues; as if for hours:

It drags on. He tries to pull away,

But she just pulls his head closer.

Finally, she pulls her head away and

He breathes a sigh of relief:

The kiss is over.


My Angel

My angel came down from way up high

my angel came down to teach me to fly.

My angel so sweet and true, maybe my angel

is you.

My angel watches over me, and saves me whan I am blue.

Happy I am, because my angel is you.

Not only happy do you make me,

but also other things,

Though I have never seen you fly, with a halo and wings.

You are my one and only,

for forever and a day

you are my angel in every way.


I'm forever being told, that I'm just ruining my life

If I were you

When I try to explain it just stirs up more strife

My happiness is can this be?

That just anybody could live my life better than me.

Folks seem to know just the perfect things to do,

And they say "I would not have done that if I had been you."

Every decision I make by their estimate is wrong,

They frown and they wonder how I've made it this long.

So I wrote this here poem as a form of complaint,

Literary? I know already you'll say that it aint.

But the time has come that I must chose,

Just which one of us is going to walk in my shoes

So you just live your mess and leave me to mine.

And if you must measure then walk your own line.

My hay your stubble, your stubble my hay

The both shall burn and will one day.

So before you petition humanity to put me on the shelf,

I suggest you take a closer look at yourself.

I'm of a mind to tell you since you apparently don't have a clue

What I would do if I were you.

M. Paul Burress


Sometimes I think that

peace is contrary to human nature.

As much as we say we want peace,

the only way we can get it is through


War does not beget peace, people.

It doesn't work that way.

Ask Buddha, or Ghandi,

I think they might have known what they were talking about.

And a few others, maybe, a very few,

actually understood the concept behind "peace"

But for the rest of us, it just another word for

"stupidity" or "dog"

In other ultra-realistic words,

Peace doesn't mean anything anymore.

So, like I said

I think peace is contrary to

The defective ideal of

a "Co-existant" human nature.


Eating bon-bons on the couch,

Hubby says I'm such a slouch,

But I don't care, it doesn't matter

'cause every day i'm getting fatter.


Tunnels of My Mind

From the tunnels of my mind

Arise the thoughts of the time

The time of joy, and some of pain

The time of waste, and some of gain

The time of everyday living with ease

The time of those only trying to please

From the tunnels of my mind

Arise the thoughts of the time

The time when high school dropouts are high

The time when kids, do drugs, and die

The time when Mothers, are Fathers too

The time when love, is not always true

From the tunnels of my mind

Arise the thoughts of the time

The time when there is disease that kills

After one night of unheavenly thrills

The time when people have no place to live

And those that have, don't want to give

From the tunnels of my mind

Arise the thoughts of the time



Deception wraps my brain like a cortical grease

And I saunter in as a fool

A tattered shoulder peeling skin

with rotting flesh and melting eyes

Image of crimson flashes over

Blinding visions as deafness breaks

Within, a shout echoes far away

Bounding the corridors wall by wall

Force upon force it comes at full

The impact so harsh reality wavers

I stand aback reeling apart

A meandering shadow diverges

With mine


Manic depression

changes so quickly right before my eyes

i cant tell until its too late

it doesn't hurt anymore just gets monotonous

cant tell if i'm trying to hide my depression or if i've something wrong with me

"natures way of normal" defeated me a while ago

sweet taste of the comforting experiences in life

are smashed somewhere in the galaxy of the forgotten

they are lost now and they have left me with only a bitter taste

i know it wont be back

so i try to cope with my self until some one else hears me crying

i see my self getting smaller and smaller everyday

i cant over come the weird ironic way i see and feel

now i want to die and then i am ecstatic

i confused my self at first but now the few who notice are the only ones who make fun of my differences

see they will never get the chance to know how it feels

they wont get to see it my way

what an advantage

i hurt myself and then i see the blood and i cry

i slip in a daze with out my unconscious

then i wake up and i am changed

i want to happily go crazy.. i don't care about anything

time goes by and then i notice what has just happened and i'm aware of my problem

i need help and i cry

in my sleep every night everyone passes my by with no concern in there thoughts

a risky chill rolls down my spine and i'm afraid to let more time slip by

i need someone to tell

other then this piece of paper

i need someone who knows

who understands

no one will understand and want to listen long enough for me to even attempt

oh well i will just keep going i guess

maybe one day i will go to far and i wont be here any more

maybe they will get it and it all will make sense

and then maybe in their thoughts they will wish they wouldn't have let my tears

pass them by


I try every night alone in the dark

to contemplate life without your spark

my love for you is written in the stars

i have so deeply fallen, i am in to far

If you left and took your love away from me

who knows where i would bleed

my heart ripped out, my wrists like a river

until i got to shock and then i will shiver

turn white as a ghost

and all i would think about is that i love you most

no one could ever feel the way that i do

no one else could love you so true

in your grasps you have the power to kill

just tell me you don't love me and you will

My life means nothing without you in my arms

nothing else could cause me greater harm

i pray for 9 years to come oh so quick

and then only the date we will have to pick

until the day i lift the veil

that will be the day our love will prevail


Sonnet 21
by, Z.K. Babb

A strange thing happened just the other day,

Something that hasn't happened for quite some time.

Something that didn't leave me in dismay,

Something that made me want to sit and sip wine.

Imagine that, something good happened to me.

For once in simple happiness I smiled.

For once in my life I was filled with glee.

For once on me grief was not piled.

"But what," you ask, "could this thing be?"

That has finally brought me some joy,

That has finally set my gladness free,

That has finally made me a happy boy.

The answer is as simple as two plus two.

The answer is that you felt for me too.


Flock to the man once more, all you strays out there

Run with spirit and lust. The wind will take you

Infuse into the moist clouds, see nothing, just wet with rain

Float down until you reach it, level out on land

Get to the man who is waiting

Bring all your friends with you

He is bearded, old and gray

He's spirit that of an unborn

Flock the man I say

He is wise with gifts of thought

Regret will not prevail just peace of mind

The journey will clear mind and body through and through

Go to the man all you people

And lay down but rest assured.


"The day no child would cry"

One day there will be a day, when no child would have to cry.

When all the tears would dry and smiles would appear.

Did you ever begin to wonder? What it would be like?

If a child didn't have to cry .to feel the pain and sorrow?

and empty.

We all grow from learning, right from wrong,

Why would we hurt a child? Children need love, We as parents,

Are taught to provide it.

We need to learn to give A child a day of smiles, joy,

and the freedom to be a child, Never lay our troubles on them.

When a day comes that a child doesn't have to cry,

will be the day the world will be a brighter place,

A child light's up the world, We wouldn't need the sun,

or moon, We'd have the sunshine, the moonlight of a child's smile.

It's all the world really needs, and we can make it happen,

If we let a child be what he/she want's to be, so deep down,

Remember? A child grows from us,

so let's give them a reason to smile,

never a day of tears again, NO child should have to cry.


What Are Dreams

Are dreams a figment of the imagination

Or are they visions of things we soon will be facing

Why do they come in all sorts of categories

Are they bits and pieces of our minds own made up stories

Do all dreams have meanings

Are the dreams just what we want to be seeing

Is there a reason for some dreams occurring a number of times

I will leave you viewers with this thought

Because for this answer we will really have to search our minds

By: AnJeL



Spin spin

twist divide

follow my laughter

catch my ride

close your eyes

spin spin

jump no floor

confusion lives

through me

try to figure

chaos has no


if i let you in

it only slows me

drags me ties me

holds me keeps me

away settle

spin spin


Innocence lost

Picture if you can,

delicious skin behind black

sleep, once so innocent...

a bare frantic urge through time could

trip or place her by a tiny finger

away into the shadows of a lost


a mad cold ache fed by a burning

yet delicious beat blue shot of reality

fades into the darkness from

which it once flourished

taking her with it...

never forgiving her as the innocence fades

like the pleasure and awakening of

a wet dream...



A dream dangles above my head.

Creation reverberates against the walls of my brain like a memory.

I hear spiritual energy

humming inside of my ear.

I scribble the notes of a symphony

on invisible paper,

but the sound buzzes away

before the melody comes clear.

I reach out,

trying to make the dream mine,

but the spirit escapes

on a breeze through a sheer curtain.


M. A. Welto



Love is something special it comes from the heart,

It's when two people swear to god that they will never part,

through all the hard and sad times and joys of living too

and even though you may have doubts of what I say and do

my feelings stand. I love you!


We have sat for days

How many we don't know

True poets live in praise

Though many won't know

I live my life in a world

In which you don't understand

If you tried live in twirls

Your progress is not in hand

I sit rapping RHYMES

While opponents copy them

My pens tell the time

So just stop me when

They run out of life

With now seems so dark

While I stand here

Waiting for death

Feeling all the raps go

I still am out of breath



drifting in a sea of gray

lost in my depression

see the sunlight fade away

no strength for aggression

vessel wash up on the shore

i wander through the night

trudging through an endless moor

i'm running from my fright

i find myself upon the drop

my thoughts begin to shift

and so i give a tiny hop

i dive into the rift


Time is not stationary,

Traversing amid past, present and future.

Yesterday is gone, yet not forgotten.

Prevailing conditions will soon be past.

The impending future will seek to bear its presence.

Past time promotes the present.

Continuance of the present dictates the future.

The future may be shaped but is not known.

To discern the future is to bring forth the present and unearth the past.

Time is neither unhurried nor sudden.

It is but a certain endlessness.


Our Dream

I want to draw,I want to write,

I want to sing,I want to act,

I want to fly, I want to die.I

want to help,I want to hold, I

want to lust,I want to let go

of my load.

I want to understand,I want to

be good at mathmatics,I want to

love,I want to live my love.

I want to feel,I want to touch,

I want to squeeze,I want to feel

the moon lit breeze.

I gaze at the diamond lit stars,

I want to know them.They glisten

and twinkle, brilliant greens,reds,

blues,yellows and white in the bluish

black of night.






Powerless pain--

A constant reminder

Of things I know

I'll never do again--

Memories gone

But not too far--

Or not far enough.

Pain of love

Not quite grown

Into the tree it should have been

From the seed--still budding


Frozen in time.

---by Mary Beth Papisan


Pain and suffering

Was all she knew

Happiness and joy

Were unknown pleasures

All she ever really wanted

Was to be left alone

To wallow in her anguish

Everyone thought they knew

What was wrong

But they could have ever

Guessed the pain she knew



You are the stars in the dark,

The moon shining deeply in my heart,

My spirit when I am gone,

Our parents when they're not at home,

My role model as the days go on,

My tears when I cry,

God, when he blinks his eyes,

The football in the air,

The person who catches it, if it is fair,

Everything about you is good to me, because you

are my brother, and you will always be with me.



Desperation is tugging at my soul and emptiness is beginning to fill my body. My heart has sunken to the floor and if I had any tears left, I would cry.

The sorrow I feel has begun to tare apart my life and the internal pain has successfully doubled the obvious, my body shivers with the thought of home and if I had anywhere to go, I would leave.

Suicidal thoughts fill my mind and happiness seems a million miles away. My goals and dreams have disappeared and if I could fall asleep I would never wake up.

Optimism has become a concept I can not grasp and the walls are falling down. My world is crumbling at my feet and if I could stop it I am not sure I would try.

The reflection I see is not of my own and my words show my mood. My nights have become long my days mono tone and if I could fly, I would crash into the sea.

A happy shinny person is something I am not and the negative is where I now dwell. My sites are set on failure and if I could succeed I would still fail.

Promises are broken and hearts too along the way. My smile is something no one sees and if I were happy, I would let it show.

Pain has become the only emotion I feel and the others I do not miss. My world is just a sad, sad song and if I could sing I would sing it loud.

Depression is accompanied by confusion and resentment brings along deception. My heart is filled with these heavy emotions and I can't change it, I won't try.

Desperation is tugging at my soul and emptiness is beginning to fill my body. My heart has sunken to the floor and if I had any tears left, I would cry.


"Leave it to the Captain: a theory"
The Tofu Poet

You're hurting son.

But We're not afraid.

You will grow old.

You will be strong.

About tomorrow's Big Game-

Daddy can't come

(has to work).

But He's not scared.

He knows You'll do well.

Son, go back to bed.

The Nightmare's gone.

Do not fear.

We know You'll be safe.

We do not fear.

We know You will be strong.

And We know You will grow old.








or i can b your sweet fantasy




AFTER copulation

makin u wonder

if there was any relation

between me and u. Was the luv really true?



I heard some old songs today

and they took me back to another time

and to another place

where I would go just to watch you walk by

And when you walked by

I swear the sun would always shine

When you walked by

I was lost in paradise

And even in the rain it was worth the wait

to see your eyes and to see your smile

made this poor boy's life worth while.

And tho we never kissed or shared a dance

you left me breathless with every glance

And tho your sisters were just as lovely

they just couldn't do what you could do

with just one smile you made me feel alive;

with just one smile you made my life worth while

And even in the rain it was worth the wait.

To see your eyes and to see your smile

made this poor boy's life worth while.


Every Godzilla Afternoon
Ron Sandvik

Work is a cell, walls of words

Lassoed in cartoon speech bubbles

Ropes and trouble from small people

Lariats cast upon unhearing herds

Lassoed cartoon speech bubbles strain

In the lull after noon, I change again

the lariats bounce from Gulliver's shins

Godzilla's wrath boils in my veins

Disjointed, I say, "You've got a raw deal."

I step around the Lilliputian's feelings

Godzilla's wrath and Gulliver's shins

Coworkers don't notice, I'm made of steel

I step around the Lilliputian apartments

Smash the power lines, industrial structures

Coworkers don't see I'm Godzilla, their savior

Tokyo's management calls the war department

I smash committees, faxes and phones.

"Do something!" I say, "Dammit, can't you see?"

Tokyo's cringing, I dream they call me.

Tokyo is faceless, it could be Bonn, or Rome

"Do something!" I say, "Dammit, can't you?"

Tokyo has called me to drive me to the seashores

Tokyo's cringing, I twist power lines into a lasso

I am faceless until five and glad to go home.

I have called me to drive me to the river

Wet my fevered brow water fountain

I am cringing, back as tight as a lasso

Knots in my stomach and back shiver

My fever breaks on a freeway choked with herds

Godzilla and Gulliver's vengeful blood recedes

Knots in my stomach and back shrink in retreat

I am free, from the ropes and walls of words


Tis' a beautiful day I thought

when I awoke this morn'

I'm alive and breathing now

I fell I've been reborn

I found the light at the end of the tunnel

but, the thing that puzzles me

it was right before my eyes

yet I was to blind to see

God has been kind to us

in giving life and love

what a precious gift from him

to have sent an angel from above

So, before you go to sleep tonight

be sure to take the time to say

God thank you so very much

for giving me another day; TODAY

















Good fortune be with you tonight, be it a deep, warm sleep that protects you from this sight, be it a deep and lovely sleep beneath all heavens light, good fortune be with you tonight.


Times have changed, nothing seems the same, at least not to me

I remember the dreams of being eminent, face known in every continent

Dream fades away

Planning to succeed accurately, making my own destiny, now there's little hope

Once, my minded replete with so many ideas, now, nothing comes but little tears

My thoughts are changing or maturing, either way, I don't seem to be caring

Interest in things have succumbed to a stop

As confusion encapsulates me into a knot

Voracious thoughts of evil fills in on me

As I try to control myself with dignity

I sometimes feel that nobody seems to care

When I awake steeped in sweat from midnight nightmares

Is there anyone who can let me perceive life's purpose

Or let me have any knowledge that is surplus?

A word of wisdom is all I need today

And an idiom everyday to help me find my way

As impulsive reactions takes place from actions taken on me

Should I let them pass or take it into severity

Prognosticating my way into tomorrow's outcome

It's a hard way to live for life's pieces and crumb...


Dear Brutus

we take our rebellion in spoonfuls

the stiff medicinal draughts

we swallow down daily

and lob the occasional rubber-tip

dart at a bull's-eye some skinny

philosopher drew on a picture of Skinner

when we've had too much

even the stars are strapped in the sky

like dogs in a Pavlov's harness

they glitter like tokens

eyeless grandmothers in Vegas

without having read Walden Two

are already well beyond freedom

and dignity.


Siren's Call

The notes caress me as lover's hands

Whirling around me as flakes of snow

I do not believe that I could ever know

A sweeter melody in all the lands

Beautiful, beautiful, they sing for me

Crimson lips savoring the sensuous sounds

Their blatant desire knows no bounds

In this forbidden and haunting harmony

Oh, quickly tie me to the mast!

I know that I cannot hope to outlast

This onslaught of glorious ruthlessness

Lovely ballad of tender loneliness

Sail away, speedy vessel, and fast!



In dreams you see all your hopes, beautiful things, and the one you love

most of all invades your dreams.

And in a second all you hate and fear, come to the vision of thy dream's eyes,

and are cast into the shadows of a nightmare, frantically you try to find

your way back to where you once where before.

Just as all things grow dim, you wake up and realize it was not a dream,

it is your LIFE...


Sheila Webster-Heard

The cigarette smoke. The foot tapping of impatient feet.

Waiting for that ride. The ride where we all meet.

Though silent when we get on, our faces sing a song.

They tell of many journeys. Some of which were long.

That lonely, lonely train ride. It's never a happy one, no time.

It forces us to remember. It forces old thoughts fresh on our mind.

I'd give anything to ride Greyhound. I'd give anything to fly.

I'd take my thoughts to another world. I'd pretend reality wasn't a lie.

But, as I look out at the L-view, all I'm forced to see, is that same reality of my life, which I really don't want to be.

That lonely ol' hurtin' train ride.

As it shoots like a star towards it's home,

leaves me somewhere between here and there in a place I don't really belong.


my wall

hello, oh good friend

never will offend

the silence i am making

to surround me, to keep him from taking

what i call my own

i protect what i like, i love a lot

nothing compares, or have you forgot

what we have got isn't here

it's now only what we had, now so bare

lovely, twisted, and forgotten

that i loved you and all we have been

is it that we remember to hate

or that we forget to love?


old voices

I listened,

straining to get each word,

hardly audible,

but the message was very clear

Each one I asked gave the same reply,

some never actually saying it,

dancing around it,

yet the emotion still shone through

I asked one person,

What wisdom would you like to share?

the response was

All of this has been a mystery,

spent figuring out how and why,

the riddle was solved long before any of us,

but we still look

No matter or material is the answer

We are the earth and sky,

we are each a piece of heaven,

created of a continuos love,

called life.


You love me in a killing way

Only my hand, waving desparately for help,

Is left above water

You wave back, and laugh,

And then you push me back under for more

You have no idea how many times

I have come close to my last breath

I choke on salt water

And see your gleaming face above me

I hear your muffled laugh again

You think I'm superwoman

That I "can take it"

I'll take your humor to my grave

Let me sink

I'd rather die quickly now than be tortured,

My neck caught in your tow line

You think it's funny to see me dangle this way



The hands that could wash, nurture and plow

Were the same hands that had the strength to lift three small children from

their dreams, in the middle of the night to flee the enemy, yes those were

the hands that rocked those children to sleep on the train barefoot in the snow

And the belonged to my great-grandmother

The hands that could type, file and care were the same hands that could perform

well in a firm and keep two children and a husband in line

And those belong to my beloved grandmother

The hands that could cook, clean, wash and massage are the same hands that

could run a small business and take care of a child

Yes those hands so able, could also wipe my tears away gently

And they belong to my mother

Three women with hands that could

An example set for me by these three brave souls

I look down and think if my hands can


I woke up, in the dead of night

to the sounds of the cool wind blowing through the leaves in mid-fall

everything i have questioned up to this point

comes swirling around my head like waves

breaking on the ocean

all the fire of youth ,the passion and pride, pain and comfort

all in one fell swoop came crashing on me like hail, snow, and earthquakes

i am all alone

only the night can deliver me from my silent scream


With the new moon,

Comes the new rising sun.

Then the rain,

The lightning,

The floods

and a new love.

In white



Dead Poet

The silhouette crouches on the verge of a pale horizon

Outlined by a faint light... Betrayed by that very light

Outlined by all that he was supposed to be

Set apart, sent to the edge of a horizon that he did not wish to see

Ever looking back this lonely boy longs for his redemption

A redemption he can never win, for he cannot speak

Quietly this boy is pushed past the edge of their horizon

To his death he falls

All that could never be


A Dream...

I open my eyes to bright sunlight shining through the window

As the sun warms my skin I think of you

I feel your arm circling my waist

And your hand as you caress the small of my back

Your heartbeat dancing in rhythm with mine, I feel your love

Warm, passion filled and gratified, I awake with a smile



I am shrouded by darkness

And you restrict me, guide me

blind me with your thought controlling harness

Why am I letting this hurt me again?

"His voice was silenced by indecision

But did anyone really care? We are quick

To judge you for your thoughts or religion."

When did it start? Will it ever end?

Answer me! Would you? Will you die

For the punching bag you dubbed as, "friend?"

"Does anyone have anything to

Say on behalf of the deceased?"

No.. you didn't.. I knew you wouldn't

"Can we go home?"


The Runner
by John Yeomans

With painful step she climbs the stairs

A car crash several months ago

Determination in her eyes

Strength amid the many cares

So active she had been before

Fleet of foot and quick to turn

Her brave face does not hide the strain

She must regain herself once more

Many mile she came that day

For business, home and family

And many more she had to go

Before her rest, or would she stay


Think about where you're going. . .

Now think about where you've been. . .

Feel like you're going around in circles?

You probably are.

Because we've been there before, even though we may never have been.

And if we've never been, we never will be,

Because we are where we are and we will be where we will be.

But we're not here, we're there, and we're not there,

But we're everywhere.



A Night Swim

Stolen water under cover of night

A mix of fright and reckless abandon

Wear the dare like a necklace of shells

and dive in head first...

Wonder about the noise water makes

In your ears, off the walls

Cliffs tall and echoing calls of

Crickets and sea lions

And sirens singing to the stars

Rise up from the waves

Adventure craves a statue like you

A monolith wet and gleaming

Salty cold and heroic

Skin pale and blurred with the moon's halo

Lick your lips and taste life

Shake your limbs, dripping fins

Emerge on the shore like a newborn

New and knowing and aware!


As I remember you....

I hear the wind chimes as they ring late into the nite

and the air weaves its way through the leaves on the trees

Like you wove yourself around my heart and into my life

Soon the wind becomes still....

and there are no more lost notes in the nite

and I remember you

Yet there is only silence to remind me you are gone

and I have never heard a more desolate song in my life


Listen to Your Heart

God communicates with us, but the question is are you opening up

your ears to hear.

She is one with us so please never fear.

For fear is just F-False, E-evidence, that A-appears, to be R-Real

And you would know this by meditating and learning to be still

By following your heart and trusting your inner self

By being a light unto others so they can receive help

In doing so, you will find that nothing is forver or ever remains the same

Through the process you will see the journey for which you came

So when you pray do your best not to supplicate

Instead thank the Lord for each full day and learn to appreciate

Remember dear children of God that togetherness takes one

So put love in your heart first and the rest is bound to come.


One Mortal's Rage.

No! I won't take the pain anymore.

I won't take the deafening silence any longer.

I won't take Faith in the flapping of a butterfly wings.

And when I look at your crucifix all is see blood. Why?

I won't take your Son's death as sign of love.

I won't take a war-torn orphans cries as lesson well learned.

I won't take the anguish cries of Gaia as sign of the righteous.

And how many more must suffer and be humiliated in your Light before you rewrite the Plan?

I won't whisper my prayers to the vacuous wind and the cryptic shadows anymore.

I won't offer my salvation to the pearly white clouds any longer.

I won't go to Hell for my thoughts, for they are my own.

And maybe I'll find peace in the Void between the planes?

Dear God, I ask you now to answer my pleas with a few simple answers.

Why the pain? Why hide behind your own blinding light?

And if not, at least strike me down for my blasmpheous ranting.



Black is the color of night

Emptiness, Nothingness, Alone

Black is the color of Death, Dying

Chaos, Desolation, Endings


Grey is the color of Twilight

Twilight of Dawn, Twilight of Dusk

Dusk, Grey, Almost at an end

Almost Black, Almost Nothing, Almost Night

Dawn, Grey, Almost Beginning

Almost White, Almost Full, Almost Day


White is the color of Day

Fullness, Substance, Togetherness

White is the color of Birth, Purity

Order, Thriving, Beginnings


The Rainbow is the colors of Love.




Contemplation's intellectual

notions bisexual

Implanted in my mind

by the vilest of all time

Satan, the angel of light

Lucifer, against whom we fight

And so I arm myself

in God's armor I dress myself

the only way to health

So I lift up my hand

In praises to HIM

who can defeat the god of this land

with the movement of His chin





























My last call.

Love me as I love you

Want me as I want you

Need me as I need you

Take me, make me yours forever and ever

You are my only home, let me live in you

Let me come inside your heart and soul

Be my guardian, be my guide, be my man

Let me be your endless well of love and care

I need you to hold me so strong that my heart beat will blend with yours

I need to hear your voice and your laugh and your breath

I need to get lost into the depth of your eyes

I need to touch you once again and die

You, the only one who put meanings and colors and sounds in my soul

You, my dreams and my hopes and my prayers

You, my only light in the darkness that surrounds me

You, my tenderness and my lust, my last call...

But You don't answer me are gone.


A Masterpiece So Fine
Donald D. Campbell (copyright ©1999)

Through these eyes his heart beat leaps,

Intertwined in mind, for her love to seek.

Piercing that sparkle that makes it so real,

A woman with love, so much to feel.

Deeply inside she lights the path,

For him to follow to her heart steadfast.

His soul is drawn close to her heart,

The warmth therein, a creation of art.

They join in spirit to hold a brush,

Bristles displaying colors so plush.

A scene unfolds with a message that beams,

As two in love paint their dreams.

The finished product, a masterpiece so fine,

For all to seek, with eyes to pine.

It was their eyes that drew them so close,

And found eternity with love to engross.


John Yeomans

It was really that he didn't say

What he should have said

Than what he said was incorrect

That's something else instead

What he should have said he knew

She always let him know

No excuse would help this time

He got it wrong she told him so

When would he get it right for once

Like Bill and George and Jack

Now they really knew their stuff

She told them too behind his back


here is a man without a soul

He has a humorless face, free from expression

He tries to disguise himself, but gives up shortly after

By this he gains my sympathy

He roams the earth

Looking for one of his own

One who shares his likeness

He is cast out from society

With no place to go

He sits alone in an empty room

Yearning for something to make him whole

Pleading for a feeling he has yet to know



Are you from Heaven up above

Send by God for me to love

At night upon my bed I laid

I thought I wished I hoped I prayed

That one day you'd be here with me

If only God would look and see

I didn't mean to cause such pain

God cried his tears they're in the rain

I know God is forgiving and that's why I say

he sent you to be with me today.


: Echoes and Ripples.

There can be no mistake.

We are the Chosen, the Souled.

We are after all made in His image.

We are the pinnacle of Life.

And to falter, fold or fail would be a contradiction in his Name.

Wouldn't It?

Time was made so that we could be Tested.

We traveled the Void so that we could learn.

All lessons will make us stronger.

In the After Life we well be enriched with are experience.

Choose wisely and know paradise, choose wrongly and know wormwood's wraith for eternity.

There is a Plan, made by God.

A Plan that encompassed every inch of the universe that we know.

A Plan that details everything to the smallest subatomic particle.

A Plan that defines are existence.

A Plan that Angels died for.

And to defy that Plan is to defy your second birth.

Some would say, "So be It."


The people are dancing,

While the others are prancing,

and the thoughts of romancing,

is not here tonight.

We move all around,

As to float on the ground,

and there is no sound,

Creeping along here tonight.

There is no walking,

and the people stop talking,

As soon as the insects start stalking,

The fear of loneliness tonight.

The people are dancing,

While the others are prancing,

and the thoughts of romancing,

exists not, here tonight.


: "Breathe Fire"

I've got to dance

Or life is wasted.

Forget this farce called magic,

Make it music.


And be moved,

Unabashedly singing,

Reminding every moment

That you live,

That you love


Breathing fire.


- Valediction-

You left

Forgetting your socks

As the night settled in.

I couldn't help but wonder

What you were looking at

When the sun sunk low

And the air that came by

For an early evening chat

Brushed your hair in your eyes

Between muttered farewells

And clumsy hugs and caresses.

You spoke

Of the news that traveled from town

I apologized for not listening

When you asked me for my views.

I couldn't help but notice

You seemed a little cold

So I offered you my jacket

With the sheddings of my grief.


Copyright 1998 © Jackie Ortiz - Miami, Florida. All Rights Reserved.

Riding on a train I can't control

Looking back on a life I can't let go

Hidden in the night is a road that never ends

It's in this darkness I know this ride will never end

If I could find the key to my haunted past

I'd forsake the hands of a madman whom in time

Drove me mad

And as the mysteries of my past keeps haunting me

The wreckage of my dreams keeps calling me

Never losing the feelings that my sorrow will turn to


It would be amazing to see where this road will end

And all the things I've done to myself

I know that someday they'll be a distanced memory

But until then I'll stay on this train ride that never ends




it is

To exist by feel

To grope in the dark for something solid

Something to keep you from falling

To drown in kisses

And swim in tears

Your essence

trembling at the simplest touch.

To pass out of existence in this world

And into another

Where only you exist.

Where images are conjured by your mind

Not your mechanical eyes.

Night revered, the gentle twilight

Falling over your sight

Like a velvet pillow

Gently smothering your breath.

To die softly...

So that life and reality after

Seem violent and painful.

Memories may take you there,

But you can only peer through the glass

Like seeing a reflection in a lake...

You can't touch it...

It will only ripple away.



Salt water drops of loneliness,

scramble down an expressionless face

However surrounded by endless company

Not so much a reservation about the past,

more so a reaction to the expectation of the future

We are a species in need of one another,

a look, a word, a touch


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

If beholder's held their tongues,

The world would be a better place today.

If the beholders held their tongues,

I might not feel this way.

If the beheld became the beholders,

What do you think they'd see?

If the beheld became the beholders,

Would they find more beauty in me?

If beholders took the time to think,

Of what they say before its said,

If beholders took the time to think,

In place of defeat, I'd have courage instead.

So all you beholders just remember,

That words can hurt so much.

And all you beholders just remember,

Instead of a critic, be a helpful crutch.

But most of all you must never forget,

That beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


Liquid Life

Liquid life

Pours from her vain

Into my glass

I watch it drain

Red like the roses

That will cover her grave

For later to savor

This wine I save


My love for you is stronger than the beauty

of a rose. And your beauty can make a mans

rough edges soften like its petals , and melt

at your sweet scent that reminds him of a


Copyright Thomas Hammond 1999


: Ugly Duckling

Gone inside again to the place I hide,

All this pain I feel.

Where I love no-one,

And no-one loves me.

The only place I can run.

Free to hide from you.

The first smile is always a thorn,

In my side skin torn.

Blood rushing but not out,

Filling me with the wanting I feel for you,

And this scares me deeper,

Because I don't think I could ever get you.

I wish I could bottle this up forever,

But then again I want to know.

I never get over the rush,

Of this new crush.

Seeing you everyday I can,

Just to see if you say what I need to hear.

You are so pretty to me,

I wish I had the nerve to speak up,

To say what I know I want to,

But then I only get what I deserve,

And I don't feel I deserve you,

Because I am not on your level.

I feel ugly in your eyes,

When I see them glance in my direction.

And I wish I could hide myself,

So that I won't feel the pain,

That low esteem leaves me.

I'm not like the other guys.

I wish to be handsome,

But I don't think I am.

I wish to be stronger,

But I'm not.

I wish I was better than them,

But I think I am so much lower.

I know I have a big heart,

And can love forever,

But does that mean I deserve,

Anyone to be with.

I can't be beautiful,

I can only wonder,

And wish you could love this Ugly duckling


Little One

Little thorn in my side,

Stuck deep into me.

Blood of anger pours out,

As you play with my mind.

Little angel in the light,

Smiling sweetly at me.

So darling a face,

I think maybe you do no wrong.

Little devil in the night,

Her horns stick into me.

Bringing all the pain,

That a crush can inflict.

Little fantasy that I see,

Why are you so,

Seemingly unapproachable.

I just want to be with you.

Little nightmare your are.

Why did you cause this in my head.

Branding your image in my mind.

Leaving my wanting something I can't ask for.

Left lonely inside,

By my little one.

Who I feel thing I try to hide,

But I am failing badly.


You ignore me because i'm not part of ignorance and your blood doesn't flow through my veins

And because my mother's the classiest of kind while intelligence runs through my brain

You cut your eyes at my brown-sugared skin and you grind your teeth at my please

You swing your hips at my announced entrance as you ignore your inner jealousy

You cup your ears to the sound of my glory which you will never gain

And to the hearts that laugh at your rejection which leaves your heart with pain

Why must you speak the words of evil onto your brother's soul

Maybe pride is non-existent to you and left to fight alone

Why must you repay kindness with evil and follow the anger's path

For it'll only leave you in misery and i'll be the last one to laugh



A Journey

Leaving in a car to where?

To a choice, a future with nobody there.

A face, a hand grasping in the air,

Only if she knew how much I care.

Glittering buildings, money falling from the sky.

Is this what life's about? Is this why I try?

Connected by a fine line with X's and O's,

We went through many highs and lows.

Going in a car to where?

To a choice, a future with somebody there.

A face, a hand, next to mine,

We now realize the gift of time.



overwhelming, engulfing


familiar, dear


lost, forgotten

all a part of my reality

shaping me through the years





silence, overwhelming







nikki olson



Wednesday 21 April 1999
A lost soul

A lost soul I am...

Searching to belong, to be recognize

Seeking for a place to be welcome

Within souls as mine, to feel safe for the first time

Always outcast, so alone...

My existence was denied from the day I was born

The ones I loved and trusted abused my innocence

My kindness has been used until it is drying up

People say " You are not of us "

So many times claimed " You are too much "

A stranger seedling in my own kind

I am trying and trying but falling down.



Dancing with Angels

I'm heading home again, to dance among the angels

and be taken by green pastures

that i had known so well.

War is cold,

and long,

and desperate,

and this fight is not one i believe in.

To believe in anything,

is beyond my ability.

This smile is fake,

and the drugs no longer give the peace they once did,

and night seems more friendly than day.

I long for those simplier days:

of ponies,

and puppies,

and dancing with my angels.


My Camaro

My Camaro is so fast,

from the golden stripes to the chromed up pipes,

the pipes are so loud ,when I rev them up,

the earth shakes as I pump the tunes

as if this car will ever die.


Together in May

The love of my life is so far away,

all I have is dreams for these lonely days.

I can still hear her voice, I can hear her say,

"Please don't leave me, please don't go away."

Oh my love how I wish I could've stayed,

but I had to come back and be here today,

now my return is for which we prey,

for us to be together, together in May.


Lost In Your Arms
By: Missy Bradford

As I lay inside these arms of yours

It is as if I am complete

My unseen edges piece together with the perfect stitch.

I place my hand on your cherub face

Watching you lay peacefully lost inside your dreams

Your skin so delicately smooth, which feels like satin against my flesh

Wondering if thoughts of me dance through your head in your sleep tonight

Feeling safe inside your arms

I rest my eyelids, and curl in closer to this man I love so much

Gradually sliding into my dreams filled with thoughts of you tonight.




As I look at the world with wary eyes

I turn around and start to cry

I see the prodigal son has returned

Happiness is gone and good memories are burned

The world's blazing of emptiness and hate

Only to this can some relate

But, I can see through and above it all

I am still at times surprised and appalled

How overruled the world is by hate

How innocent people meet terrible fates

Who is the creator of this mess

Who gave us this endless stress

















Two or One?
By Jenny Woodrome

When two people come together

And they become one

Their lives take on a meaning

That will never come undone

They touch each other's soul

In a way that's new to man

And they will stay together

Though all things may come to end.


You're my angel to hold 'till I take my last breath,

You're the fire that gives my heart light,

You're the sun when inside of me there is a storm,

You're the star in my sky every night.


"That girl"

I am not that girl

The one who leaves you wanting

Keeps you calling

Sends spilling from your mouth and mind

Every glory

Every element bleeding how you love her

Until she breaks you

And you'll break me

I am not that girl

Neither is she


By Amanda Price...

Too fast-running blind,

Need you all the time,

Never dreamed that you'd be mine.

Now love is surely caught,

In the cracks,

Of my heart.

Could it be I'm falling?

Thinking of you,

And my heart skips a beat,

And have a smile.

If my lips,

Were to betray my heart,

And told the truth...

I would say I'm falling.

If my eyes,

Betray my soul,

When you search them...

Do you sense the need inside me calling?

And if I spoke the words,

A gentle whisper in your ear...

Would I reach the heart of you?

Could you dry these lonely tears?

If my lips betray my heart,

And if my eyes betray my eyes,

Then you already know I've fallen.

And if my lips,

Were to speak the truth,

It is your name,

They would be calling.





Powerless Pain-

A constant reminder

of things i know

i'll never do again-

Memories gone

but not too far,

or not far enough-

Pain of Love

not quite grown

into the tree it should have been

from the still budding seed


Frozen in time


A Poem for Garry Lavelle

By Marina Lavelle

I am privileged to call you Brother and Friend

Your gentle kindness and loyalty would never bend

You shared with me my moments of greatest laughter

And in my moments of deepest fear it was you who made me feel better

The essence of the love you gave so freely was always apparent

To my children you were more than an Uncle, more like a Parent

Your joy for life was like a ray of sunshine coming through a cloudy day

Darkest times could not suppress your contagious smile, you always showed us the way

You asked us not to shed tears for you, to tell of the times we shared

Memories bring us happiness and pain, I hope you are proud of how we faired

You left your mark so deeply on my life, I can not contain my love for you

I will forever hear your last words to me, "Hey kid I love you too"



i've had a dog since I was one,

and when I move she starts to run

She's blonde, white, brown and kinda red,

with polka dot socks and a stripe on her head

Her nose is black just like her toes

her eyes are dark and her tongue is rose

And when i invite a friend to stay

She's bark and bark through out the day

But now she's blind and cannot hear

She's old and lazy and sleeps in fear

Now I wish that she'll get all better

cause i miss my puppy that cute, mixed setter!


Expressin' love
by Eddy Gutierrez

Love isn't messages from a friend

or lyrics off a song,

Love isn't words on paper

or sounds off the phone,

Love is when you're face to face

revealing your emotions from the heart alone.

"Love does exist wherever friendship is!"



Going up and down these roads not knowing where they lead

Looking along the by-ways knowing there's something that I need

A feeling deep inside myself knowing something is just not there

How much longer can I look, how much more can I bare

Then I see the wondrous thing, a bright and glorious light

It's like a beacon shining on a dark and moonless night

And I hear a golden voice asking me to mourn my child no more

For she's a beautiful angel helping to watch Heaven's door

The voice slowly fades away but the light still shines in my heart

Knowing that my child has such an important part

I still miss my little girl but I know she's no longer mine

And I thank the LORD above for giving me what I could not find


Heather Taylor

Tears fall from my eyes when I thing of you,

You left so sudden didn't even give us a clue.

I wish I could go back and tell you how I feel

But I know your not completely gone, for you'll always be in my heart.

We went through some good times, and quite a few bad ones too

but I'll always remember the little things that made you you!!



Look out beyond these faces,

and you'll see the haunting traces- of something you cannot describe.

Where light turns to dark,

and battle makes its mark- it will dominate any man.

As time passes by,

no matter how hard we try- nothing can stop it.

Where war grounds soaked with blood

mix with souls covered in mud-we kill ourselves and each other.

The government loses control,

and we plunge deeper into that hole- of death and forget.

The people not consumed by the rage

hide in a cage- where they tattoo themselves with visions and predictions of hell to come.

We don't realize our sins

and God shows a grin- as humankind comes to an end.

(what, me cynical? }:o)


: I am a daisy girl,

'cause that's all I want to be.

A little white daisy,

quiet in the grass,

still and soft all the time.

I can feel the sun shining on me,

and the warm breeze around me,

making me flutter for a moment.

I can see clouds in the sky,

the cool earth beneath me,

and my daisy lover nearby.

Everything is warm and still

No people or words,

just this little world.

And when the winter comes,

I will lay myself down and die.

No rush, no fear, no pain.

Yes, I am a daisy girl.


Thoughts from a lonely table

I was sitting in a chair.

I wasn't comfortable,

I wasn't warm.

I was trying to think

Trying to remember

what love felt like.

I think for three seconds

I remembered.

In a few seconds,

I remembered.

How warm and


and safe

I felt in your arms.

As fast as I remembered

I forgot.

Sitting alone in my chair.




All along the beach the winds blow

It's all just one big show

To feel the winds with such a magical touch

I don't see how anyone could expect so much

If you can see the artwork the evening night brings

It's one of earth's greatest things

To hear the birds and the sounds of the sea

They may mean nothing to you

But they mean beauty to me

So next time you stroll along the beach

Take a look listen and feel to what you may reach



Running through the blood stained halls

innocent souls dropping at my side

knowing full well of the devils in disguise

destruction of life their solemn intention

they wrote of that on a page

along with detailed instructions

for their instruments of rage

the influence of a madman

whose masochistic brain has long been dead

sent psychopathic messages

to scramble in their head

hearing the thundering of the crowd

roar from up above

seeking safety in a corner

and rocking to and fro

blinded by fear

with no exit which to go

all things will pass and this will too

I whisper to my self as I glance down below

blood spattered on my jeans

from a girl I used to know



It's that lurch in my stomach

That invisible weight on my shoulders

The million thoughts of what I have to do

Racing incoherently through my mind

The strain of having to be one precise way

Pushing myself to be perfect

Not allowed to snap

Have to do everything right

Can't neglect anything

Everything has to be perfect

No errors

It all piles up like tremendous bricks

Clouding my mind

Weighing my down

Making me fall


At First Glance

Look beyond my blinding stare of boredom,

beyond the walls I build between us and

the bridges i break.

Look beyond my cynicism, my silence,

my tendency to blame, beyond the

moral inconsistencies of my


Look beyond my hesitation to need you,

and my inability to understand that

you need me.

Look beyond my sarcastic smile and my

constant cowardice.

Just look into my eyes and tell me what you see.

Submitted by: Tiffany Silva



the charcoal strands of multi-colored darkness

float precariously into nothingness.

the oblivion of lover's toils

wind along the empty trail,

the kiss a brilliance of pure imagination.

its a world swimming in cloudy white,

demanding and unfulfilling.


Noontime in the realm of hate and lust.

Half-past twelve and bravery is a must.

One o'clock, the heat chars the ground.

Half-past one and the flowers have withered to brown.

Straight up two, the wise take shelter.

Half-past two, on the brink is helter skelter.

Three PM, the smart ones have all left.

Half-past three, of love the terrain is bereft.

Four in the afternoon, steam rises from the lake.

Half-past four and all lives are at stake.

Five on the dot, the daylight is fading fast.

Half-past five, one wonders if the horror will last.

Six in the evening; the day is at an end.

Half-past six, now the real terror begins.


Nothing Left...

words and music written by Mike Reyes
Singer/Guitarist for Subordination

I am caught between two minds,

Heaven and hell always occupy my time.

And though I am still feeding off your lies,

I hate to think that one day we will die.

But now there's nothing left of what I used to be,

And now you'll never know just what you mean to me.

And well I guess I should just go on my way,

But now there's nothing left, nothing more to say.

We run, but still we cannot hide,

And I hate to think that this is our only life.

And I still wish that I could stay,

But all of my feelings just seem to fade away.

But now there's nothing left of what I used to be,

And now you'll never know just what you mean to me.

And well I guess I should just go on my way,

But now there's nothing left, nothing more to say.



I think of you everyday but do you think of me

I talk to you everyday but do you already see

I used to have this thing for you a long time ago

But know it seems to be coming back for why I do not know

I know I'm just one of the hundreds of girls you talk to everyday

And deep down inside I think you feel the same way

I know it's probably pathetic to think this thought

But for know this is the thing I got to keep my hopes up

That someday hopefully you will feel the same way


"The Day I Spoke Of"

I spoke to the devil the other day.

He showed me a sign and I began to pray.

I saw visions of my loved ones,

And visions of the ones.

The demons in me taunt me to act.

The angel in me keeps me in tact.

I never did cry. I am only a man.

Just leave it to me.I do what I can.

I want to fly away and never come back

Or die all alone, before they attack.

Evil spirits come to me from time to time.

On the evil ones the sun will shine.

The day I spoke of shall not shrine.

Ruben Alvarado '99


No Guarantee

There might be a love knocking at your door

That you might want to explore

Something you might love down to the core

And something that might mean much more

I hope you know that

There's no Guarantee

There's no Guarantee that the next time something nice comes

along will hear your plea

He might drink your love like a cup of tea

He might hit it and split and that will be the end of thee

and then you will see that there's no Guarantee

So don't let the color of my skin

Make our love come to a end

Because there's one thing I want to do

I want to love you

And help you see everything through

And our love will always stay true

And there is nothing for you I wouldn't do

>From when the sky is dark or blue

And if you got a chance clap your hands and boo

Because nothing's ever a Guarantee to you



Into the Darkness

An inconvenience of palatable illness

seems, at times, to be

forever etched into the darkens,

that I receive through moments of pain...

...and I sleep.

The colors of my agitation

bring me to believe that I am scared

to believe who I am

or what I am here for...

...and I believe.

Life begins so inconstant

it does not allow myself to consider

my passion that boils down inside,

my lust that alleviates my pain...

...and I know

Evil cries in echoes of pain

that rings through my mind,


I wonder every once in a while

What draws me closer to you

Is it the words that you speak

Or the cute things you always do,

Neither of us is a millionaire

Money could never buy the love that I feel

But there's something that sticks out about us

To bring me the confidence, this time it's real,

It's the one thing that no one else

Has ever shown me in times before

That no one could ever replace

The one thing that helps me be sure,

It's not something that you can put in my hand

Or that thing that you say in my ear

It's what makes me smile every day I wake

And sometimes why I shed a tear,

That something I see when I look in your eyes

That I feel when we're in the same room

That makes my heart dance every time that you're near

The reason I know...will always be you



This shall be my last goodbye.

No more tears will I shed.

This shall be my last goodbye.

The saddest word I've ever said.

But since this word has passed my lips,

I have made it happy.


Somewhere in Cambridge

I've walked a thousand miles

Just to look into your eyes again

And still I walk

And yet your soul eludes me.

Four years of hell,

Searching for my sanity,

Through patient summers and winters

Full of lonely dreams.

Just to fill this emptiness,

I would wade through torments

Even more severe.

You don't know how much I'd give

To see your smile again

And this never ceasing pain

In the beating of my heart

Only reminds all the more

Of the comfort of your arms.

"Tell me that you love me,"

And the wind whispers gently

All for my love.



You say you love me, well if that's true, why are you acting this way?

It's hard for me to understand, so what am I supposed to say?

You hurt me when you me, you hurt me when you lie.

But you hurt me most of all when you walked out the door with no goodbye.

I don't know what to say to you, I don't know what to do.

You were the one I always ran to, but now I'm running from you.

I tried, but you pushed me away, it wasn't my fault at all.

Well I hope you're happy now that I'm gone. Your high came from my fall.

This is an ongoing battle, you'll just have to understand.

You'll have to learn to play the game, some how it's all God's plan.

We have to compromise, this is a 50/50 thing.

Don't even try to argue, that's how it's going to be.

It doesn't matter what you say or what you do.

The only thing that matters is what I feel for you.

So if you're ever angry and you feel the need to scream.

I only ask one thing of you, please don't take it out on me!


Lost in the darkness with the sorrows to bear

And seen in my visions were dreams to be

For of my desire there is weakness within

And my heart cries for my soul to be free

For my thirst is the quest of my daily tasks

And my strength is that not to be found

For my spirit searches for the breath of life

And my victory lies in the light to be seen


Written are my words from the spirit they flow

And seen is my wisdom for the words are pure

For my tasks are that which was given in love

And my truth is the destiny of each day past

For tomorrow is only the wisdom of that today

And my dreams are the visions yet to be seen

For all the world has witnessed my dreams

And my words shall be the testament to see


One More time Luckey

Riding on a pony tonight,

he rode past my window out of sight.

Every night he rides,

out there by the tides.

Each time with a different soul,

each hoof pound like a thunder role.

He never stops; never looks this way,

he continues like a horse starving for hay.

I know that one day he will come for me,

and carry me to the endless sea.


2 Hearts
Paul Kirker

A thousand eyes may catch you in your weakest state.

A thousand smiles may make you forget the past.

A thousand hearts can beat to the same rythym,

but only one heart can make our live's complete.

The heartbeat of 2 in love can destroy any war and

famine while parting any ocean with just a whim.

2 hearts beating in unison, one dream, spreading warmth

and love until those 2 hearts, make 3.


How It Is
by R.J. Kim

Stronger than the crashing waves,

it endures longer then stone.

Caresses like the gentle breeze,

it sets my soul afire.

Softer than an infant's skin,

as precious as a babe's joyous smile.

Worth more than a king's ransom,

as priceless as my own soul.

Inspired words it brings to this soul unworthy,

inspired visions to make the heart weep.

It sings a song of such exquisite beauty,

tells a tale so few can comprehend.

It's brilliance is brighter than the jewels of velvet night,

it's magnificence greater then all of Earth's hidden treasures.

Even the boundaries of the universe does it surpass,

more wonders does it have to be unveiled.

It gives my spirit wings,

to soar above the great blue expanse.

It's influence so deep,

it delves the fathoms of my heart's well.

It overflows like the Lord's blessings,

my heart the cup.

Through my veins does it flow,

throughout my being, my whole.

The cherub sent let loose three arrows.

over the miles, straight and true.

Thrice struck, thrice afflicted,

thrice felled, yet thrice blessed.

Once struck for her beauty that rocks my soul.

Twice struck for her personality, oh how it enchants me so.

And struck thrice for destiny.

Our past.

The present.

What future to come.

This is the riddle of my essence,

the enigma of my core.

The answer

that drives me so

is my love

for you





punctured lizard barely breathing,

between her teeth it dies.


thinking life is hers for taking,

her joy is his demise.


power fills her little ego,

no tear is in her eyes.


drops the lizard on the doormat,

and there his carcass lies.


I want to run away

to leave thus urine soaked hell hole of a life I lead

of a life I lead

I go on day by day cursing life, hating to live, loving death

I want to run away, run away screaming, tear-blinded, going anywhere

but here

But when I try to leave

Bars and guards keep me here

But I still try and I will prevail

But I sit here

In this puddle of piss and wait for my turn to



I Wish I Could Cry.

I wish I could cry

but tears won't come

emotions inside me

just won't stay calm

I'm bitter and lonely

but I'm not alone

the pain always with me

stays and hurts like my own

and yet it's not mine

it's alien to me

it came from a world

too distant to feel

a world I made up

to escape the no-fill

the emptiness, nothingness

growing around me

but I'm not alone

the not-mine pain

will never leave me


Mary Jane

Your cheap thrill was Mary Jane.

Her filthy used gift to you was life in the fast lane.

I guess she wasn't enough to sedate your pain,

Because you soon went looking for bigger game.

When you tread I know you're tripping,

And that your mind is slowly slipping.

Into the darkness the light begins stripping.

Into the light the darkness begins ripping.

People your age have dreams of innocent lust.

Yours are of flying high and dancing with fallen angels in the dust.

People your age have homes filled with trust.

Yours is filled with hidden roaches and disgust.

The purple haze has ruined your brain.

Now it seems you only can gain,

Because all you've known has been devoured by the acid rain.

It was Mary Jane, who wore lots of lace,

That got you into this rat race.

Crack that stone mask from your face,

And let me be your saving grace.


Love is like a Pet rock,

The first time you hold it you feel like never before,

but after a while, the new wears off and you feel differently about it.

you start to lose interest in it, so you throw it in the closet

It never disappears, and never goes away.

You Just forget about it, you leave it out of sight in the dark


Fractal Thoughts

Complex complacence, abject adjacency,

Spirals onward, never ending,

Fractal thinking, condescending.

An abstract blade, dull to time and space,

Looking the same, upon every face,

Slashes reason, with cognition,

Burns down logic, quick ignition,

Cuts away all innovation,

With it's razor consternation.

Mirrored surface, not divined,

Gets no purchase, in my mind,

Self analytic, may'p hypocrital.

By Leland Bjerg



soft winds and rain, splash through murky days

the gloom of love so far from today

i wish so much for the touch and the warmth

as my lips part from yours

a million times in my thoughts

i've covered dozen thousands of miles

and crossed through depths of the sea

and searched every cave and hidden cavern

for your love which i seek

am i forever forsaken to sit and to wait

for what may never be mine???

a heart so cruel to be so blind

but which i so crave and would never betray

but clicking of clock and beating of heart

pass each moment together, in a dreadful lonely grasp

it seems its all i shall have...



Come play with me baby

Come dance in my light

With no inhibitions

No fuss and no fight

This world that we know

Where no boundaries exist

Where dreams are for living

And rules are a myth

Come dance with me baby

And catch me a star

On a crystal blue beach

In a place not so far.

Come to me baby

Say what you feel

Whisper you love me

I'll pretend that it's real.


Old Man Sea

Old Man Sea

Whisper to me

The secrets of the ages

And the wisdom of the sages

Pundits and brilliancy

Old Man Sea

Sing sweetly to me

The songs of the balladeers

Ripe with joy and tears

Full of valiant bravery

Old Man Sea

Speak gently to me

Of battles and wars

Fought beyond the shores

Out on the field watery

Old Man Sea

Weep softly with me

For vessels in your depths

Those cruel vengless wrecks

The severing of humanity

Old Man Sea

Bid farewell to me

For I must return to land

There is great work at hand

But I shall tell them of thee


Is This Humanity?

We live in a world of hatred and corruption.

The only way to protest is to be more hateful and corrupt.

Prejudice flows through the halls of schools.

Oh look, that person is dressed different


That person is acting different


Shut-up about mans inhumanity,

Because we are all the same,

Except some people act

Lets examine a persons mind

All it is is hatred with a bit of humanity.

We all deserve to pay for how we treat others.

I wish the human race would smarten up

And practice what it preaches


In the sheltering dark

A thousand women relax their guards

We unfold ourselves

The dry sounds of feminine lingerie rustling

Like paper

We are origami dolls

We women,

Complex and fragile configurations

Pressed this way

& bent that.

The trick is,

Once unfolded we cannot so easily

Put ourselves back together again.

M.g. '99


life is sad but yet joyful

life is something we can't understand

life is a story untold

life is colorful but still black and white

life is hot but sometimes cold

life is beautiful yet ugly

life is hopeful but never sure

life is unfair yet what is

life is never yielding and yet it stops

life is not forever because only God is


standing at a phone booth

short on quarters

in the pouring rain

my dreams crashing in time with the thunder

you cant hear these tears for this rain

silenced, like screams under water, across this telephone wire

holding on to nothing

is hard sometimes

amazing the weight of empty spaces

when there are no words that come

conversation disconnected

for lack of pocket change

hanging up i wonder if it ever rains in your world

-Angela Tombs



How will I know what man is right for me?

Will an angel tell me

Will I see it in his eyes

Will I meet him in a store

Or is he coming to my door

With flowers in his hand

And a smile on his face

Will he sweep me away with his perfect charm

Or turn me off with his burning harm



i used to wear black, on my clothes my nails my eyes, and flannel, and be the butt of all the jokes, and i used to help my lab partner carve "metallica" into the table, and i used to carve into my skin with razors and smile at the bloody line, for fun, but i had hope then, i had hope.

now i dress form fitting, ironing out the wrinkles, and my friends hug and love me, and the boys cast flirtatious glances like well timed bullets, and i lotion my smooth legs and i have an important job and a plan for life, but i have no hope. no hope. this is irony


Imagine, your world tinted purple. Whip cream rivers, chocolate skies, and lots of people with no cares. Violence is only a memory. Up on Frosty Hill sits Mr. Nowhere with no cares, no wishes, no dreams. he just sits there not wondering what's going to happen next.

Imagine, your world through the eyes of the sea. Seeing everything through reflection. Seeing everyone's true self. What all their wishes are. How wonderful to see the sea through reflection.

You wake up, and all you say was a dream. So wonderful to Imagine. I'm sorry to say that nobody's world is like that. It's still good to wish it was..

by: Joshua Galve


Due to a overflow of poems, this session is in two parts. Click to continue .

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Poems Copyright © Designated Authors 1999.

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