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Work-in-Progress

Yes, I have a work I'd like some help with. What do I do?

Send it by pasting your poem into an e-mail for ahabooks@mcn.org with it clearly labeled in the subject line as being a Work-in-Progress. Remember to add a real e-mail address so people can contact you! And think that if you wish comments for your work, that you hone your own editing skills by responding to some of the work now up before placing yours here. Please no attachments. Just good old library paste on your email!

Here is what is on the desk at the moment. Does any of it interest you? For this feature to work, you not only need to send poems but also take the time to respond to the work of others. 

 

Worlds In Need of Love
by Jonathan Armour
e-mail-bigpapajohn2003@yahoo.com
 
Time seeps too quickly into memory
For those continuing to forget
And is made so hard to see
By clouds of foolishness and regret.
Most only learn true merit
Of things once seen as illimitable
When it is too late to use it
For use other than those that are inexcusable.
Life is far too short
To be held back by unnecessary inhibition
We must fulfill our want to court
Despite our fear of rejection.
So if you take my word
And try to be less materialistic
Life will be more filled with accord
For love is all that is found realistic.

________________________________________________________

Hi My name is Kreshona and I am fairly new at writing poems. Here is a poem that I wrote a few days ago. I would appreciate any and all suggestions and advice on how to improve it. thank you.
 

The Voice of Reason
Kreshona   mistiangel18@hotmail.com

Hate surrounds us,

Causes people to fight,

They listen but do not hear,

The pleas of those around them,

Makes them ignore the voice of reason.

Agony waits just around the corner,

Pain and desperation makes them fear,

The problems all around them

The wants and needs they canít support,

Causes anger to appear and make people hate and fight.

The pointless wars crusades and battles

Creates enemies anew and renews the old ones

The voice of reason calls for an end to these wars

So people can live in peace and happiness

Living the life they dreamed of living

Giving their children the world they dream of

Creating the hope the keeps people living on.

Ignoring the voice of reason,

These battles and wars continue

Destroying everything that was planned for

Leaving anger in the place of love

Disaster prevails killing faith and hope.

Listen to the voice of reason

Listen well

For the voice of reason

Will keep all of our dreams in tact

And will keep the hope alive,

While all of our anger will die.


_________________________________________________________

Jigsawed

: pieces scattered
: on a cluttered table

: you, a snow scene
: colorless, cold

: I, an English garden,
: wildness barely contained

: between the salt and pepper
: zinnias dot a white mound

: winter's edges envelope
: summer's borders

: larkspur and lavender
  lie discarded on the floor

Jean King
jean.king3@verizon.net

_____________________________

-UNTITLED-
   Noemi     DulceChicanita@aol.com
 
Tears drown his eyes
as his soul lets out those cries.
 
His heart begins to ache
and in his hand the gun he takes.
 
To feel loved is what he wants
now he thinks, no more laughs or taunts.
 
Just the surface is what they see
what he really wants is to flee.
 
Not one note or letter he left
not a word to anyone was said.
 
His finger now the trigger embraces
as he remembers all the taunting faces.
 
No more tears of pain
never one thought of confidence gained.
 
This is the first time I write to a place like this, you know where they comment on my writting.  I'm afraid of critizism, but hey we won't get anywhere w/that problem huh?  Thanks for reading and for your input.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Your eyes set me free
Winter nights make me long
for what i cannot have

"~*~*Sarah*~*~ ."  sarah_izz@hotmail.com

___________________________________________

grandpa
jillian lea
pyke  peelinganorange@yahoo.com

He sat with wheels,
bones slouched where life once smiled.
he said he'll never be the same
and dropped his foreign-
arm, but we were familiar.
Dank with age air
choked,as we sang
but still,we filled
his mug to remain
wet with moments
Then, he and I,
we meant in a direction-
Seconds like this long eternity
and so, realizing none of us will
ever be the same either;
I filled my own mug.
To quickly though,we
returned to spinning,
but he, he resided in grey wheels
and a body of those fleeting foreign locks.

______________________________________________


Elemental
 "Sadiqa  Dickens" <sdicken@bellsouth.net>

 

Universe of stars

eternal  incandescence

my lover smiles

my heart

heavenly conflagration.

_____________________________________________

LIFE
Spoonie0304@aol.com


Everybody's life goes up and down
Everybody's life goes round and round
Turn every corner, climb every tree
Never give up unless you give in.

Life is so contradicting in its own right,
When all goes fine you will get bowled down,
They may all laugh, they may all cry,
But who's in control when they all die

Is it the man with the long blue coat!
Is it the woman in the big fur coat!
Is it the child that sits and plays!
Or is it your partner with their looks & gaze?

Take a stand look all around,
See what's there and take in hand.
If you like it that's just fine

BUT DON'T FORGET WHAT YOU MAY LEAVE BEHIND

_______________________________________________________

My venture into traditional Haiku - comments/suggestions please....
 

                           Sailboat, winter sea
                           inquisitive shark, short shock
                           debris, bloodstained sea

                           ------------------------------
             
                           Sisal torn from earth,
                           twisted, coiled, enslaved,
                           for ocean voyage

                           ------------------------------

                           Lizard, green leather,
                           seeks mate of unlike texture
                           in love to procreate


                           ------------------------------
Martin G Spillane,
spillane@facstaff.wisc.edu

________________________________________________________________

To Slumber is a Gift
 
For some to slumber is a gift
but my tossing and turning
from the echoes of your face
within my soul is gift enough
 
For the hardened emptiness of my bed
waits
in a room cold with disuse
and arms full of recollection
 
and I slumber with your ghost
and the taste of parted lips
lingering still
while robins sing beneath my window
 
 
Tom Ryan
tryan-2@earthlink.net

 

_________________________________________________________

Internal Eternity
Time...
 
A healing force.
A momentís forward.
And even a plausible cause for relapse within the soul.
Gone astray, turning from those wrong ways
and long since passed moments of our lives.
Master to many,
servitude of all.
A purpose so indefinable.
So immeasurable,
It is ageless.
In reign
and in irony.
Reckoning with all creation,
Itís eyes reflect even that of the spurs of existence itself.
 
Evolving the old and greeting the new.
Never colliding the difference of two.
 
Time after time, yes, time.
It is called upon to embrace our lives in one way or another.
And reaching us when it is readyÖ
The paradox
softly,
and easily,
moves the unexpectedness of our lives.
Then something redeemable takes shape.
Something within the forgotten pieces of our heart can finally emerge.
 
C. Ulrich Nov. 22 2003
culric69@hotmail.com

__________________________________________________________________



Deep inside my heart,there are many colors.White is for the innocence that was lost long ago,but traces still remain.Red is for the pain,which is ongoing. I wonder,will it always remain? Black is for the areas that have been shut down,due to the heartaches they have endured.In an area all by its self,is the color yellow. It represents the sunshine that is slowly creeping in,preparing to brighten these dark chambers.

<SHORTYBEAR63@aol.com

_____________________________________________________________________

 
NIGHT
 
The night brings the beauty of the sun to rest
and slowly persuades the light to sleep.
The blanket of peace and quiet calm
is mingled with the fears of the darkness
to create a beauty that only God could dream.
And as each child whispers it's sincere prayer
it is within the darkness it is read.
Which makes me ponder
as to the purity, said to be found in the light
and the taboo of the darkness.
 
 
All comments are greatly appreciated.
 
VAF
<veragonzales@sbcglobal.net>

____________________________________________________

 FRIENDSHIP BEYOND DEATH
In memory of Bethany Charlene Grey
Lanais Lee 2003   MKellis566@aol.com
When you have a dear dear friend
Even death can't separate you
You know you will see them again
A friendship so true.
 
Friendship last beyond the bounds of time
A true friend reaches out to you
Beyond the barriers of old and new
Fighting through death's thick awful slime.
 
A true friend is always beside you
To help with decisions of life's tribulations
They reach out beyond the realm of the sleeping sun
To be beside you always true.
 
Beyond death I hear her call
To let me know she protects me
In the midst of death's great waterfall
To let me know she's there even though I can't see
 
Friendship lasts beyond death
Each of us should know
And so to my dear friend Beth
I will never let our friendship go.

________________________________________________________

SHHH
Maricela G.   
Capcyacin@aol.com


I woke up in the middle of the night; I thought I heard a scream
but it was only the deafening quiet of a sleeping house.
My room wearing a thick cloak of black; unrecognizable in the dark.
The stillness of the quiet swallowed me whole.
No sound, no crickets, no ticking from the taunting hands of the clock
not even the obstructed breathing of hates love child next door.
Only the lonely silence.
Then there came static which sounded like waves clashing ageist black sands
accompanied by laughter which sounded much like my own.
Was it my own? How could that be?
No sooner had I asked the questions the answer came to me
like messiah bearing gifts.
It was laughing at myself for having thrown obstacles in my own way
hoping it would change my direction and therefore my destination.
Only to have ended up in the same place but, slightly more tattered.

_______________________________________________________________

well, i'm rather new at the whole poetry thing...  i'm young and finding out how love can hurt, and i wrote these from out of my feelings.  anything you feel like saying would be appreciated, be it good or bad.  you can send your comments to grinGo6_@hotmail.com. thank you.  and if any of you out there have any ideas for a title on the first poem let me know.
 
 
 
 
the night is cold
i feel the sky falling upon me
the stars shine
i begin to close my eyes
 
my eyes are closed
what i see makes me cry
i see you
and you are gone
 
out of my life you run
my eyes chase you
they fail to bring you back
if only i would have called out my feelings
 
my feelings were strong then
i feared that i was losing you
i failed to realize that you had already gone
you became a shadow in my thoughts
 
you were not with me
you were with another
i failed to love you as i should
i had failed to be the one
 
so i open my eyes and breath the emptiness
the stars fade
my body becomes still
i part this world with the thought of you
 
i loved you lauren
why could you not accept that and embrace it
i asked little
only to love and be loved
 
but i'm gone now
no regrets
no lost feelings of love
i sent them with my prayers to you
 
 
 
 
True Story of Love...
 
i love you and at the same time i hate you
i look at you and i bleed
my heart soars and then drops
for i know you all too well
you boost me up to let me down
i shouldn't let you play me
but i love you too much to let go
 
 
time passes and i grow weak
but i feel i'm growing stronger
you run around me like a marathon runner
i'm so tempted to trip you
i can't... you look so happy running
why do you run from what is for sure
i will never understand this
but sure as the sunrise i know you have your reasons
 
you kill me lauren, you really do
you have me looking rundown and losing faith
i have lost a lot of time chasing after you
time to ask what am i really chasing
is it love or nothing at all
i can't tell sometimes
 
the other day you called me and asked me to pick you up
i had to say yes, i hadn't seen you or heard your voice for such a long time
when you were with me i was hoping you would read my mind
rescue me from the depths of my living hell
you fed me a french-fry instead
however, that did the job
it gave me the slim hope that maybe there is still a chance for you and i
but i need to hear it from your lips
for if i don't, i will proceed not to live
i will merely exist
 
love goes deep as the caverns of the pacific in my heart for you alone
so i ask you tonight please
let me know if what i am waiting for will ever come about
don't be afraid to tell me the truth
i can't be hurt any more
once you hit bottom, the only way to go is up
 

 

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