ROUND ONE
1
the lead drops upon the page
pencil still in
hand
sweat rolls down her face
2
Distant stars,
make me believe in everything
,
that God conceived.
Philosophy 101 and Religion 202 will get you nowhere in haiku. Just the facts, ma'm, will win the match for you. Ku #1 goes ahead.
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3
Lone. Solitary.
dependent on no one, but
to know
thine own self.
4
Cold wind swirling leaves
button zip pull on my
gloves
Time to walk the dog
Concrete images like leaves, gloves and dogs will win again over philosophy every time in haiku. No room here for self-pity and introspection. Chop wood, carry water and walk the dog - wins.
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5
earth stops turning as
lovers decide to get
off
leaves fall in silence
6
A spoonful of stars
left lingering in my cup
stir a
harvest moon
We are getting closer to reality! A spoonful of stars wins over the world left by lovers.
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7
Grass rises to light
humans rise to feel love
how
do we find it?
8
Night falls like a sheet
cloaking the world in a
dark
slumbering blackness
I feel as if I have been dropped into a haiku time warp crossed by Socrates et al. Ku #8 takes its sleepy somberness to the next match.
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9
Seconds tick by
with increasing
slowness,
eventually to stop.
10
Rivers flow from the
Tears of the saddened. My
tears
Flood the calmed rivers.
Reality! where is thy sword? I want to reach out to touch something real. Rivers of rivers win this match.
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11
Little leaf
Whisked away by the river
Let me
go
12
There lies the ocean
Swirling blue, foaming
waves
Beckoning to me
The 'Me' generation strikes haiku head-on. Me, me, me. The world revolves around me? The little leaf carries #11 forward.
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13
Gladly I would trade
this velvet shirt, these new
shoes
for an empty hour!
14
Tears stream down my face.
I notice how alone I
am.
My heart is broken.
Wrong poetry genre - both of these. Geeze. #13.
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15
many wings aflight
sunlight paints with golden
brush
dusty brown moths
16
three red cars shining
in slanted afternoon sun
-
pomegranate seeds
Sorry, in haiku sunlight is not allowed to hold a brush and paint anything - not even moths. Ku #16, I can tell you now, will win this game because it is the only 'real' haiku in this set.
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ROUND TWO
1
the lead drops upon the page
pencil still in
hand
sweat rolls down her face
4
Cold wind swirling leaves
button zip pull on my
gloves
Time to walk the dog
As much as it may pain one to hear, haiku are not interested (if they could be) in the lives of authors. I know this goes against everything we learned in Western poetry appreciation, but it is this very aspect that makes haiku so interesting! Spare us.
----------------------------------------------------
6
A spoonful of stars
left lingering in my cup
stir a
harvest moon
8
Night falls like a sheet
cloaking the world in a
dark
slumbering blackness
Haiku either contrast, interact or associate two or more images. As ku # 6 does.
---------------------------------------------------
10
Rivers flow from the
Tears of the saddened. My
tears
Flood the calmed rivers.
11
Little leaf
Whisked away by the river
Let me go
Ku #11 has a nice paradox working in it. A good haiku technique.
----------------------------------------------------
13
Gladly I would trade
this velvet shirt, these new
shoes
for an empty hour!
16
three red cars shining
in slanted afternoon sun
-
pomegranate seeds
Why do I feel Shakespeare has tried to write haiku? That velvet shirt! Pomegranate seeds will win out.
================================================================
ROUND THREE
1
the lead drops upon the page
pencil still in
hand
sweat rolls down her face
6
A spoonful of stars
left lingering in my cup
stir a
harvest moon
Ku # 6 restores my smile and belief in the goodness of poets. I like this one. It is growing on me.
----------------------------------------------------
11
Little leaf
Whisked away by the river
Let me
go
16
three red cars shining
in slanted afternoon sun
-
pomegranate seeds
My delight in these poems returns. I find these two a good match. Both have the proper line stops (one per poem). Both set one to thinking. Probably the coolness, the lack of the personal pronoun, will push #16 slightly ahead. It was close.
================================================================
ROUND FOUR
6
A spoonful of stars
left lingering in my cup
stir a
harvest moon
16
three red cars shining
in slanted afternoon sun
-
pomegranate seeds
As much delight as I get from the images in #6, it is a very smooth ku, I will pick #16 as being the better haiku because it is not a complete sentence as #6 is. See, I told you it would win! Congratulations to J. Chris Baltzley! for the ku:
three red cars shining
in slanted afternoon sun
-
pomegranate seeds -- J. Chris Baltzley
Poems Copyright © Designated Authors
2000.
Comments Copyright © (such as it is) Jane
Reichhold 2000.
I need to study
haiku more.
I want to
enter one of my haiku in the Sea Shell Game.
I want
to read the results of another
game .