APRIL, 1999

Up-dated April 2, 1999

This world once stood

Quite peaceful and calm

There was no violence

With knives, guns and bombs.

There were no drugs,

No needles, No pills,

No child abuse or oil spills.

There were no problems

That needed solutions,

The air was not filled

With dirty pollution.

There was no extinction

For animals to fear,

No nature was destroyed,

The trees were all here.

There was no sickness

Or STD risks,

Jealousy and hatred

Just did not exist.

There was no sadness,

nor crying, no doubt,

There was not one issue

to worry about.

No suicides, homicides,

pregnancies, drug-busts,

No high-jacking, riots,

Racial wars, handcuffs.

This world once stood

Quite peaceful and calm,

That is until we came along.


Great Gatsby Land

I spent the evening with Gatsby in hand,

And read of his dreams and feared for his plan.

I soon fell asleep, as the nature of man.

I awoke as a guest in Great Gatsby Land.

There was laughter and casual embrace,

As strangers sought answers in Case after Case.

The music was mellow, the medley was grand.

For such is the life in Great Gatsby Land.

Our host stood searching, not seeing the crowd,

Or hearing his story as told aloud,

By a knowing authority, bent to his task,

Of pouring truth from his empty flask.

And I mingled and spoke when I had the chance.

And I danced with the ladies in the days of Romance.

And then I awoke, none the worse for the wear.

Found my place in the book and started reading from there.

Submitted by: R. Neal



It is said to be a strong feeling of affection, devotion, and concern for one another.

But I don't believe in this definition.

I do believe in the devotion among us.

Some people think love is just a word.

But for me I think it is a word that combines you to me.

The meaning of love according to me is the affection I have for you.

And I hope you have the same feelings for thee.

As I look at you I see that you are not single.

But that does not mean we can't flirt constantly.

And if you do decide to be single Let me know and it will tingle.



I wanted to be loved, but you didn't love me.

I wanted to cuddle, you pushed me off.

I guess that means you do not love me.

I tried to do the things a couple would do.

But things always went wrong according to you.

So now I see we are not fit for each other,

I guess that means we cannot be friends.


lost in a daydream

a surrealistic world

where everything's in place

snap back to reality

can't pull myself out of the grave

that I've landed in

the complexity of emotions, spilling

like a waterfall

in my mind

surrendering to the world

that I left behind not too long ago

sinking in the quicksand beneath me

my destiny arises; I cannot escape

I fell for the illusion

that I could walk away unshaken

but it didn't happen that way

they say you can never go back

but I did


A Journey's Dream
By Darnell Eppley

Riding down the back roads, thinking every mile

Remembering when I had it all and how you use to smile.

Wishing how I could turn back the hands of time, bringing back a love, that most will never find.

Searching for you with every passing car, believing in my heart you haven't gotten far.

Hoping that it's not too late to repair your heart and soul, to touch a place that still forgives beneath the darkened holes.

Oh how I long to hold you near and erase away the pain, for what a fool I must have been to have hurt you once again.

Running out of places that I thought you might have been, driving on in hopes of finding you at the end.

As days go by I'm so afraid it much to late for me.

But through it all I only hope that someday it might can be, that love can change your state of mind and mend a broken heart, and give to me another chance to surely do my part.

Still riding around searching for you knowing I've lost it all, I'm going home and pray that her love will make the call.


by lil zimmy

green grass is all round

the sounds of people cheering

deafens ears to the point of bleeding

lining up to the line of scrimmage

getting in a three point stance

waiting for the ball to go through

the sacred art of being snapped

so the main man the quarterback

can deliver the ball to

who ever is brave enough

to take the challenge

for the opportunity to prove

them self

its adrenaline pumping

heart thumping

bone crushing action

that's football.



She takes the blade and wants to die.

Put it to her skin as she starts to cry.

Would rather be anywhere--

Anywhere but here.

All of her problems flow from her veins.

No problem or blood in her remains.

She feels her spirit lifting out of herself.

As she falls, her head hits a shelf.

She's dead--that's all--no more life.

She cannot live any more--will not become someone's wife.

Her body lay in a wooden box.

All of her mourners cry for their loss.

The day she was buried it rained; it poured.

She, the lost loved one, would always be adored.

As her casket was lowered into the ground,

The reason for her suicide was never found.

--Meri Q


White roses in an emerald sky

black roses in a crimson sea

the emerald sky

the crimson sea

black roses

white roses

a blue dragon flying in a emerald sky

a blue dragon swimming

in a crimson sea

white roses

black roses

purple moon's rise

from the crimson sea

a blue dragon sits


white and black

black and white.






















Magnovox TV's, cars and there shocks

I see the gleam, seems to me

There are falsity of society

Meant to lie to me, lye for me

So i my walk over your inharmonious rhythms,

This world, it's uses are my priSONS

No sun shall come,

Send coming has came and gone

perhaps this the dark before the dawn,

Light at the end of the tunnel,

Emerging from the rubal to huble

Resurrection is not impossible

Hope must live on.


An Unknown World

the jungle a bath of heat

booming of a million bees

steamy earth with decaying coconuts

damply rotten and full of insects

creepers, broken trunks, twigs, thorns

added to the destruction

warmth radiated hot dust

cold ocean water all around

colors drained the buildup of clouds

the dark blood staining the sand

trembling beneath the heat haze

this place is getting dirty



Sirens filled the night air

dark and crispy

with fright

Neighbors yelled

and screamed


than the outside


Orange, and red

charcoaled the


ditches lined

the field

flames tall

as the sky




silent petals,

known only to his soul

gently drift and fall against this tile

stained with the notes of another love

(crushed velvet against a gray sky)

silent petals

of his soul

gently drift and gall against the cold ground

so finely attached to salvaged sandals she treasures

so dearly

and these silent petals

swim through her hair

an ocean deep in color

its waves reflect

(crushed velvet against another gray sky)



Where have the leaves gone

Where have the trees gone

Where has my life gone.

nothing seems important anymore

since you left and slammed the door

I will never forget you, What wit

Where have you gone

where has the rain gone

nothing lasts anymore

I think someone's knocking at the door

but who is it for.

Where have you been

will you ever come back again

what has happened to me




Muffled footsteps,

Across a gleaming path,

Glittering with natures own lace,

Quietly calculating a decisions aftermath,

A decision made in haste,

To path converge a single walk,

Creating a wooded crosswalk,

Each aware of the other,

Not that far from each other,

They share a common emotion,

As they sit near the frothy ocean,

Their devotion,

Then a kiss,

Simple bliss!

Now they have kissed,

It was not terribly dramatic, but it did exist,

The sweet innocence of young love.



Black is the color of death

Black is the color of night

Black is the color of clouds around me

Black is the color of fright

Black is the color of my sadness

Black is the color of my fear

When I sense darkness here

Black is the color of my thoughts

When someone hurts you so

Black is the color of anger

When you cant let that someone go


We walk as one

At the crack of the dawn that is where you may find me

Walking amongst the rain, sun, hail, and snow

I am not afraid for truth is by my side

We walk as one

With every step

I pray for you as well as the world

Wishing you well, wishing you, what, I wish for myself

We walk as one

The sun behind my ear

The wind beneath my nose

The cold within my lungs

We walk as one

By now my fingers are numb from the cold

It is the end of winter

Ashy cracks build a tent on my knuckles

Concerned about the blood that drips down my middle finger, I am not

Concerned about you, I am

We walk as one

When will you realize that I am your son

You have created me

Now, you are scared of me

We walk as one

My kinky, dry, hair, blows in the fierce winds

And you ask... will it be cut

I say, indeed it will, when you find yourself



Have you ever found a man

Who held his scissors

As if it was his heart

Slipping his fingers in the eyes

Of the perfect twin metal

He does with no thought

Mindfulness cannot be found

In him

He begins chopping the hair

As if it were his enemy

He takes off more than is needed

By now my right ear is filled with his anger

In the mirror, before me, I see my youth dying

Saline waters fill my eyes

With so much love in my heart

I have for the uncompassionate

I blink

And it begins to rain

Bags filled with tears fall to my arms

I cup my fingers together

Bring my hands as one

I hold the hairy liquid

In the center of my being

And realize what has become of the world

I do not swallow

I gargle then spit

For this immorality

Must stay for a moment

An imprint on the soul

I know walk with . . .



Gravity is the source of my depression,

For it holds me down without consent.

Like shackles on my feet,

It keeps me from my dreams of flight.



Why do I love you?

I don't even know

You've broken my heart so many times

Shattered it again and again

Even before it is mended

Why do I believe in you?

Your manipulative lying ways, never to die away

You who would have an affair in the blink of an eye

Playing host to diseased strumpets

Dying for and because of cheap thrills

Why do I put up with you?

shattering my life with your deceptive ways

Drinking away their future, wagering away our lives

Blue and black contusions on their sad faces

Giving away our lives for instant gratification

Still I love you

Still I put up with your devilish ways

Still I believe you'll change for me

Now I fall deeper into this condemned pit

Deeper in my denial than ever before

For now I am no more....

I've put an end to my misery


My weakening mind begins to fail me and all the memories start to disappear. 

I am no longer a man. 

I am becoming a mere shadow. 

All that was is now a blur and with every lost memory a part of me goes too. 

Silence overcomes me, as I have nothing left to say 

I have nothing left. 

How much longer will I remember who I am? 

How much longer will I continue to exist? 

A rage ignites my heart, but the cause is lost. 

My heart beats with the anger of frustration and defeat. 

But as fast as the anger rises it vanishes into nothingness 

All dreams and expectations are no longer here. 

The death of a mind is here and in my last thoughts I wonder.... 

How many more minds are lost? 

-Juan Saldivar (Silver Rage)


By Dave Rollins

I wanted to be like you.

Many were the paths I followed with you.

There was one path,

Reason prevented me from following.

Now that you've followed the path,

Going our separate ways.

The chasm between us grows wide and deep.

How can I call you back?



the agony of thrill

the defeat of victory

the thrill of agony

the victory of defeat

it's all about me


You can call me blind

Or you an call me deaf

Yet those are only words

From the mouths of the unloved

I am aware

My eyes are open wide

And my ears are cleared

Will you force me to listen to your repetitive sermons?

Until my eyes are dried and my ears bloody

Or will you hide me from the lust

The lust that I desire from the enemy

Or will you hide me from the violence

The awareness that would fulfill my curiosity

Hide me

Ban me

Forbid me


When you unlock the iron clad doors to release me

I will have been freed by the beloved enemy


You are my best friend, The only true one

I love you so much

For all you have done

You are my best friend, My closest one ever

All of the others

Won't even endeavor

You are my best friend, We talk on the phone

Some of my actions

You won't ever condone

You are my best friend, You're always there

Even with things

That you just can't bear

You are my best friend, I care for you

Even when

My mind is askew


I cried last night, because you were hanging

I looked at your body, my mind started banging

I cried last night, cause I had lost him

The entire thought was totally grim

I cried last night, I read your letter

you thought it was good, thought it was better

I cried last night, cause you'd never return

My hopes are, in hell you won't burn

I cried last night, cause you took the pill

The pill that made you, incredibly ill

I cried last night, why couldn't you learn

I cry all the time, my heart will yearn

I'm still crying today, it will stay this way

You thought that your pain, would just go away.....But it won't



To taste

To feel

To touch

To know

I am lost in ecstasy...

To think

To dream

To want

To be

All I've ever known...

More...than me...

To desire

To need

To care

To see

Blind...the dark


Chained inside

I am free

Chained inside

I am free...

All is me...

All is nothing



~~Cairo Road~~
By: Cherie' North

I walk the decaying brick streets

Sapphire and ruby leaves are silently crushed under my shoes

Pulled from the dying fingers of the trees

And my senses are drowned in the endless insect coes

Still the night floats on a pillow of mist and dreams...

White stars are scattered on the surface of puddles

While all the closed shops are clothed in shadow

And the breeze whistles silent riddles

Through the leaves of the sleeping willow

I walk, still, half-asleep until the sun rises from its bed of embers...


By:Joan Damian

The world moves on in a blur

I see it right before my eyes

But I stay

I choose not to, but I am not able

I just can't go along...

Can't seem to keep up with the pace

It's much too fast and I am left behind

Left alone in the darkness of my thoughts

The vast emptiness

Swallows me whole

And depression starts to sink in

Staring deep into space

I try to see what's not there

I try to find the reasons why

But I am left with no answers

Feeling restless and unsure of myself

I begin to realize

That i have been defeated

By a power I can't contest

A fire I can't desist

A prevailing force I can't push away

My enemy...myself.


Sometimes in life we think without speaking,

not knowing that the words cut like knives.

Other times we don't speak at all;

Afraid to show too much and fear the possible hurt if we share too much of ourselves.

We sometimes forget that we are an important part of another person's life.

In this world that we live in, there is no perfection.

Not in life, not in love, not in ourselves.

I believe that the key to happiness is the ability to look past those flaws,

with an open mind and an open heart.

Try to see what is beyond the surface and truly appreciate them for everything,

both good and bad.

Each day that passes, we learn a little more and learn how to love a little more...

and there is nothing that I'd re\ather have more that to have you beside me..

Loving, and learning...together...


Wet Kiss.

Saturn with his balls cut off



father time with scythe in hand

the grim reaper

time castrating us all

and making all our efforts futile.

Without dreams or hope

the poet is left with nothing

but his acid and his bile

with which to etch his thoughts

upon the wall of time


they will not rhyme

nor have they meaning.

All is a wet kiss, all is gibberish.


Olio without Oleo

I met an azure arab

underneath the sea

his hair was ebony midnight

and filled with silver stars

his face was alabaster

and his eyes were golden suns.

He sat,

the azure arab,

upon a crimson throne,

and he was reading,

in the quiet shadows,

from an ancient tome.

I thought I met an azure arab

underneath the sea,

perhaps a dream, or omen,

or a portent of things to be.


Spring Cleaning Vow

1st I will boil myself sanitary
scald off any skin you might have touched
I will rinse my ears w/ Draino
scrub my hands w/ Brillo
shave off my goatee

Then I will rinse in cold water till I tremble

& my skin is an appropriate blue

I will write on my body in toothpaste & wine

recipes on making mistakes & eating them too

I will clean up after you for the last time

I will walk into walls till I learn I'm not a ghost

I will breathe bleach till my thoughts come clean

I will fast till I'm hungry

Then I will eat till I'm bigger than you

Walter Arlington Nov 98


Cool recess from the nine year war and eldest song for childish dreams and the feast by the arched shoulders of the sea. Thereat the procession of the laborious dream...... with my semblance to the fatten stream of the sea.. ..... thereat displaying cool recess. In here the moon and her train smiles at me while dismayed in happy-sadness my reason is snapping and in my trappings they're mad... borne the diadem sun in the caged city......... ...smuggled in hunger reigns...thereat decry the faithful convection and by shade of youngest song i find ancient instruction.



You are the one

flawless and impeccable

I recite you like a book

you walk as if on air with wings of gold on your back

Privilege, is being able to just touch you

and feel your exquisite power run through my empty body

I feel myself heighten as the empty void that once smothered me

is now filled with pleasure and stimulation

while everyone else is colourless you, you shine like the heavens

i weep at your beauty, and sigh at your smell

if only you could comprehend my love for you

but wait i shall because you are the ONE

and watching you from afar is pure enough to further my existence



"A Scholastic Paradox"


Such a great and terrible thing!

You can improve the greatest minds,

Or confuse the clearest thinker.

-But I think,

(Which is not good)

That you don't hold as much power

as your mighty dispenser,

The Teacher!


Such a great and terrible person!

You can improve the greatest minds,

Or confuse the clearest thinker.

-But I think,

(Which is VERY good)

That you don't hold as much power

as the truckloads you give,




I fly into the sky

into the big, fluffy clouds

and see an angel appear before me.

The angel takes my hands

and tells me they'll never let go.

It's funny in a way,

because I feel so secure

away from all pain.

The angel turns me around

and kisses my forehead,

so sweetly and gentle.

And when I finally look up,

I look up to see

the most beautiful brown eyes,

the brown eyes of my loved one.


This is the only content way to sing my joy. If this is the imperial love that I can understand why to love, then let this be. I was once lost, and now I am found, and I shall be forever be yours. Lost in space, I was free, but lonely. Let go of the pain, and believe in the shame that you can bring upon me.


You Never Knew

You never knew how much I loved you

You never had a clue

If you had known the way I felt about you

You wouldn't have left me so blue.

You never heard me crying in the night

You never saw those tears

You never noticed the hurt deep inside me

That I felt for so many years.

You never planted the seed in your heart

To let a love between us grow

And now the only thing I regret

Is that I never let you know.



In the front seat, on a back street, sits a woman in a child.

She sits with her lips perched in a smile.

Only four years ago she could be wild and free-now she struggles to look at one of life's mysteries.

She turns to the window and watches the door.

Outside is still something her heart wrestles for.

She sways backwards, sideways, and leans-then she giggles to hide all her insecurity.

She wants passion, and comfort, and familiarity-

But no one can listen, to a girl this lonely.

He looks at the front seat, from the back street, at the woman by his side.

He'll touch her, and hold her, and rise her strengh to get by.

He holds her still when she fidgets with shame, "Hush now, Sweetie"-

Then he calls her name...

He kisses her tears and rest firmly by her side.

........A girl this lonely needs an angel to stand by.......

In the front seat, on a back street, two lips collide-

Somewhere beneath the moonlight,

love saves her life.


"When I saw You"

When I saw you

I saw everything wonderful in you

I saw the light in your eyes

The love in your heart

The warmth in your smile

When I saw you

I felt your soft kiss

Your warm touch and embrace

I felt your eyes upon me

When I saw you

I thought it was too good to be true

and I was right

Because now it is gone

It is all with someone else now

When I saw you with her

My heart was torn

But now I realize

I must let you go

I just want you to know

You will are still in my heart

And forever you remain


The Junk Pile Teddy

I come to you used with no tags or new name,

Through the years I've been around I've never gained much fame.

My jobs have been many throughout my years,

I've heard a lot of laughs and wiped away some tears.

I've sat at the table when it was "tea for two",

And I've been the one blamed when they wanted to know "WHO?".

I've kept all the secrets that just couldn't be said,

And I've protected against the "THINGS" under little ones' beds.

But as they got big I was tossed to the side.

Never did I fear, I took it all with stride,

Because it's for that reason I get to be here,

To start with new laughter, new secrets, and tears.

I'll watch another little one grow healthy and strong,

I'll be a shoulder to lean on when things go wrong.

So please take me and love me all tattered and worn,

And don't worry if through time I get a little torn.

It's all in the job that I was put here to do,

Just on of the joys of being loved by little ones like you.

Written by Sunny Veal for Sydnee McCall Council


Your kiss is like a soft wind blown across my lips, as you place your hands on my hips. This is a night I wont forget.

As we dance and dance the night away. I never thought it would happen this way, but this is something I can't resist. I never knew it would happen like this.

You take things slow, knowing its my first time. Even though we both know we are committing a crime.

As we embraced each other, knowing what we just did wasn't right, we kissed and hugged each other good night!


Your Hairspray Now....

Oh the pain....

My eyes are stinging. Burning!

I try to struggle....


My eyes are being held open....

By metal clips....

My head is held by a vice.

I can't close my eyes!

The chemicals.

They're in the tubes....

Being sprayed in my eyes!

Oh the pain....

My legs....

Cramped in this position for so long....

I can't move.

Can't struggle....

Can't move my ears....

Not that I'd want to....

Just hear the screaming.

Of myself and the others....

I am only a rabbit....

What did I do to deserve this?

The scientists are coming....

I can't see them....

Not through my blindness....

But I can sense them!


It's all over....

For me....


The last daylight

The water hits the shore,

It is hard like a boxer.

I run and dive,

Down I dive,

The waves roll over me,

I swim towards the dark,

The wind stiffens,

Still I swim,

Now the wind lessons,

Now I can rise,

The water white caps,

Pressing gently on,

I coast up to shore,

I crash to the shore,

I climb out to watch,

The sun sets like a sinking ship


There once was a hobo named Brine

Who made his living bootlegging moonshine

He drank sour mash

and lived in the trash

and couldn't walk in a straight line


There once was a guy named Joe

Who had a gigantic afro

It got shaved down

Hairs fell to the ground

But he was bald at first you know


What I am

I'm like the wind that hits your face,

I'm like the rose that you trace,

I'm like the dreams that you dream,

And as sweet as your favorite ice cream.

I'm as genteel as the tunes you sing,

And as pure as a diamond ring,

I'm as silent as a shooting star,

And glide like a brand new car.

I'm as calm as a deserted cave,

But can be a roaring wave,

I'm as bright as a forest fire,

But do not show my learning desire.


There once was a dog named Sam

He had the brains of ham

He peed on my bike

and bit a kid Mike

And a witch turned him into spam.


They gently hit me,

lightly at first,

As I wade into

the salty water

The sand brushes

my toes as I

slide through

the water

And then I'm

under, into another

world, away from

the breezes

All I can see

from above is

a great ball of

fire, a calm

cool, feeling

of peace

- Beach Boy


In the gardens all is still.

Only the faintest scratching of pencils can be heard.

Like the claws of mice scraping on the walls.

Sitting on the ground, cool as a clean, fresh pillowcase.

Grass blades tickle my legs like tiny blunt knives.

Surrounded in hot moist air, with my dizzy, aching head floating in the soup.

I smell the scent of roses, blown by the breeze above me.

By M. Katherine Taylor


Beating the Odds

Last one,

I'm winded,

I get up.

Kids treading

in the water

about a dozen,

just waiting.

"Who's left?"

In unison,

they answer,

"You are."

I'm thinking,

Damn! How am

I going to make it?


I take big breath,

and dive.

They swarm,

like piranhas,

but they can't hold on.

I'm losing air

Finally I reach it

The other side-

I win



There was a boy named Buck

he got attacked by a duck.

He told his dad

his dad got mad;

and ran over the duck with a truck


There once was a dog named Molly,

She was always so happy and jolly.

Here comes a bus,

Molly looked at us,

and now Molly ain't so jolly.


he shriveled brown fern

Sheds dead leaves upon the pot

The rotting corpse dies



There once was a little old deer

who was hooked on drinking beer

He got shot in the side

Then they cut off his side

and put a tag in his ear



There once were two men from Crete

Who could not decide what to eat

They would argue and bicker

But never grow thicker

so they died looking somewhat petite


The trees swing in breeze

They dance during a wild storm

There green and barky



A flying diva

soaring through drama, it feels

the sky is it's stage



flowers are neat

flowers are sweet

do not eat

my flowers


we wait for dawning of new day

to wrestle with the world again

we play the game just a small

gear in the big machine we

call humanity. i am here lost in a sea

of humanity. a number i am given

can i make a difference, will i,

an should i. i seek to know the

truth and the wisdom and glory

of love. i seek that moon beam in the night

to guide me to that which is right , so as

my spirit can soar and seek insight. and

i rest in the stillness of the night

waiting for the dawning of a new day

hoping to make a difference for that which is right.


''Fragments For The Seasons''

The sounds beat our ears in with the flapping of butterfly wings

that ripple through the dawning of day breaking shadows

cutting our hearts out

and pasting them onto our sleeves

as we shrivel up into the coming of springs

warm embrace of weeping cries of smiling sadness.

Copyright 1999 Shilo Brown

If you are interested in more of my poetry write to the following address to

receive a catalog:The Book Beat Book Shoppe, 2412 S.W. 59th Street, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73119


Away, go, leave, make hence

I start to build again

please step outside the fence

so I am safe within

The walls are invincible

This time I've done it fair

At glance they are invisible

Kept unseen with care

There is peace an quiet here

If which I only sigh

There is nothing that I fear

For the gate is strong and high

Yet when I built I should have known

As they pass me by

I would sit in here alone

Just Me, myself, and I



Soaring high above the earth, I remember how it felt

The cool breeze and warm sun

But all things must come undone

And those wings of wax do melt













That night, I'll never forget.

The curtains were drawn and the stage was set.

No, not a play, just a dance.

When I was feeling down, was that my chance?

The lights were down and the stars were out.

I still can't see what it's about.

Sitting alone on the side of the hall.

And then from heaven an angel did fall.

You came over to me with a smile on your face.

I shrugged and we took our place.

On the dance floor, right in the center.

It was then that my heart you did enter.

I didn't know then, I still can't see how.

But I'm hopelessly in love with you now.

>From that point when I was safe in your hands.

I felt better, and ignored the jeering stands.

And then on the last dance of the night,

You cut off your dance and came into sight.

I sighed and imagined how angry she'd be.

But my eyes were so misted that I couldn't see.

And then it was over, and we all said good bye.

We all left for home in the dark, starry night.

When I got to my room with "that song" in my ears.

It suddenly clicked and dispersed all my fears.

Like a switch going on in my head.

Just like all the fairy tales that I had read.

I smiled and I suddenly knew.

I had hopelessly fallen in love with you.



I am back with my love, we are made to be

We " loved, lost and it came back, that's how strong it was"

And this time it will stay, for if not, I surely wont live

Twice on one person is surely enough to hurt you deeply

I would end up hurt and suicidal, like before

But with no one to turn to.

All my friends think we should stay together forever

They wont help, they'll just try to put us back together

Like a puzzle, you can take us apart and always put us back together

But after a while, you get worn out, and the pieces wont fit

For now I'm happy, that's all I want to be

Not a puzzle

Or alone

Just happy



My friend, I need you now - please take me by the hand

Stand my me in my hour of need, take time to understand

Take me hand dear friend, and lead me from this place,

Chase away my doubts and fears, wipe the tears form off my face

Friend, I can't stand alone

I need your hand to hold

The warmth of your gentle touch, in my world that's grown so cold

Please be a friend to me, and hold me day-by-day

Because with your loving hand in mine I know we'll find the way


What We Once gone

I scream on the inside, hating me deeply. Hating what you have made of me. You took a part of me from me. A part of you I loved. But you loved me. And I loved you. I didn't want to change you. I just wanted to show you how i think, and believe. You tried, believe me you tried. It isn't your fault, I would have too. I've felt the same. And I know that at the time it feels right, but to the world it is not. When I look at everyone else, and think of how they must think about it; they don't really matter. All I see is one other person. The person I want. No matter what. And now you are gone, far away. Do you hate me? I don't hate you, I don't even know if I wish it were different. But now it all is. And I have to find a way to fix my fallen life.


The heart is the instrument of pain.

Love the hearts sorrow,

For which it beats continuously.


As I sit here

my mind begins to wander.

I dream of colorful landscapes

and thick swirling air.

I trudge through the damp lifeless grass

of summers before

and think.

I think of what it would be like


To get away from everything

is a helpful remedy for most things in life.

I hear the faint hum of something soothing.

Though I cant recall the sound,

it comforts me

in a way nothing else can.

Maybe this is an escape route for me.

I really don't know,

but I think I'm now starting to understand.


Right click on my heart left click on my soul

A flashing icon alerts your presence

on the information super highway

just one voice in a sea of millions

loud enough to come my way

we talk in type for hours on end

we talk in punctuation

I talk and laugh to a monitor

and Internet animation

your warmth and heart in graphic symbols

arrive by satellite

I feel I'm with you on our link up

together apart every night

double click your icon initiating chat

single click your name

you tell me that you missed me

and I feel just the same

my feelings for your typing

grow every day

I can feel the woman in those words

which makes me want to say.....

Right click on my heart

to open all he doors

left click on my soul

and I'm yours for ever more


Someone New

I saw you with someone new today

You looked happy standing there with him

A pain filled my heart

Why couldn't I have that chance

Now we don't talk anymore

Looking at you causes me too much pain

I always the way I felt for you

The way you responded was a slap to my face

The next day I saw you with someone new

A pain filled my heart

Why couldn't I have that chance

I really don't understand why I feel the way I do

You were special to me one time

I guess my heart won't let that go

There is a hate I have grown for you

But my heart still has a strong love for you

So when I saw you with someone new today

A pain filled my heart

Why couldn't I have that chance


Neurotic Suburban Cow

It's locked inside the skull,

but the cow's still beautiful.

Blue wind is polyrhythmic-eyed;

gray matters when it's a lie.

Fresh timbales steam in the pasture;

tics bloating to feed the laughter.

The conga line is seamlessly managed

by a smooth ex con named Santa Anna


Greatest Love

There is no greater love,

Than the one I have for you.

If I ever lost it,

I don't know what I'd do.

I might wander around,

Lonely and lost.

Wondering what could've been

And how much I had lost.

But for now I sit beside you,

My thoughts hidden deep inside.

Hoping I'll stay with you,

Until the end of time.


Minds in search of untapped logic / Searching darkened crags for a foothold / Blindly stepping towards the abyss / Finding danger, retreats from cold.

Minds in search of untapped wisdom / Diving fathoms, inviting pressure / Air craved, towards the sun, up! / Gains nothing but a breath.

Minds in search of tolerance / Hide locked doors within / Approbation for the chosen only / Conditioned facade harbors sin.

Minds in search of acceptance / Dance to an unfamiliar tune / Fathers eat as Cronos ate / Souls transformed to a fiddler's tune / Minds in search of healing grace / Breech the precipice to seek the sea / Braving the horrors of introspection / ever deeper, ever free


A powerless force has pushed me away

A voice screams "silence!"

A vision dreams of what to say

The powerless persons arrive with rage

having nothing more to say

The bird answers with a prologue of nothing

and it whispers good-day-

But I see the powerful emptiness that divides the universal

spirits into dreams

As now I speak I leak away from the words - the meaning of which

are lost. Yet past the horizon of misery lies a tree

Standing alone in the expansion of energy - it was forgotten

only hoping that someday it could be seen.

The powerless minds flow like time

And they have nothing more to say

At least not today.

-Zanla 1999


Virgin Undone

Wind through her hair

Soft chimes, gentle breath

One night of pleasure, mild savage

Beating breast

A wild eyed moon lights her

Ignites her

Finds quality in her skin

I haven't courage to stop

Lost courage to begin

Soft caress requesting union

Searching entry, almost one

And she came to me with the

gentle sweet raging of a virgin undone.

Kirk Brant


"Awaiting the train"

There you stand

Every morning

Looking at the tacks

You spit on

Again and again

You think what will become of me today

Will some f*cker discover something about me

That I will deny

You enter the car

Seat yourself amongst strangers

Who are all these faces?

That cross my path

My stay

This world

This cold stare is felt by and is everyone

It is getting cold in this car but why?

We are in August

The month of my birth

Did "truth" know what would be for me

Or has "it" no clue as "I"

We learn together

I twist the ring that lies on my finger for relief

A comfort of some-sort

I raise my head and see my reflection in the window

For once it is not distorted

The face I have seen all my life

The face before my parents

Not even the carvings on the window can deny me-yes!

Simple, perfect, complete

This site is

Currently, my hand and pencil are united

Eternal lovers who have just met after being separated at birth

The way my fingers hold the pencil, press the paper, poetry in motion

Because its truth

Truth is what will get me fame

When you approach me

Don't look at my sneakers

Look in my eyes

The key to my soul

Please see me as I am

Not the footwear I fashion



Like a drug it's addicting

Like pain inflicting

my heart,

yet it feels so good.

holding every moment as a priceless jewel.

It's Like my mind and body is in a duel

to see who covers the most ground.

So far my mind has won every round

but I'm beginning to feel light headed

Like the slightest gust of wing could have me lying flat.

Yeah I'm falling between the cracks

and for some strange reason I Like it.

So I ain't trying to stop.



For once in my life I felt not so alone

Then I had it taken away

to face the world again...with tears in my eyes

My life forever changed by that one single star

that is forever gone, in the black sky

to a place unknown to man

Now my body's swelling with feelings I have yet to face

for that star...I will never be able to replace

In the sky it'll shine down upon me with its brilliant light

yet I will not know exactly the one from which the brightness comes

but I shall feel its warmth around me like the summer sun

Some days it's just a flicker, yet others an inferno

I wish someday to become a star

shining down upon this Earth

but for now I know that My star

is hovering, eternally forever up above...


Not a poem Negative but positive

"A strange Poem"

Life is a bowl of diamonds.

Every piece gets cut up and used.

And if you don't do anything with them

they will burst into a roaring blaze.

So walk on the wall with

your hands in your pockets

and your tongue

wrapped around your neck.

And you should stand up for your dookie.

You may be stripped in the middle

of the highway.

Don't jump from bridges higher than 1500 feet

in the air, because if you do that you'll become

part of the Earth's streams, and

you could be a part of the water

life. Well as an under-water ornament.


The Mask

You tell everyone you've got nothing to hide,

But your eyes tell of secrets buried deep inside.

You put on your mask and get ready to go,

An accomplished actor putting on a show.

You try so hard to impress so few,

Yet I say nothing, for I wear one too.

You wear your mask as well as I wear mine,

But your beautiful eyes will betray you every time.



Her arms are weak and tired

hair but damaged and frail

eyes sunk low, a drained sea of hopes

but still she feels a love for this life

Tonight she cries

beneath the bathroom sink

beaten but not broken

she remains tonight

Her legs are bruised

the marks of a man

(crazed, dressed in red)

her heart

red with the blood

(so carelessly spilt)

and still, she can feel


All you said was hello again, and here I sit consumed

with all my thoughts of you, of the you and I that never was

It seams I'm still the child I was, biting my nails to the quick

wondering where you are, only guessing who you're with

How you wreck me with your smile, split me open with a touch

Unlocking secrets hidden so deep, I never knew they thrived

I didn't want to get you forever stuck on me

Like sand between my toes, finding pieces everywhere

am I naive to feel this way, opening old wounds for you

Never feeling vindicated, never knowing if I'm wrong

I could never hear your voice again, if you tell me I'm not wanted

I could never see those broad hands, and not imagine them holding me

don't pretend to love me, now is the moment of truth

I'd rather watch you walk away this time, than to stay and believe in lies


Moment in Time

Look in my heart, look in my eyes

see what you want to, see only lies.

Try to understand, try to believe

but you give up quickly, turn and then leave.

Gaze at your body, as you walk out that door

legs weaken slowly, and i fall to the floor.

When tears dry on willows, When the sun doesn't shine

When the wind stops blowing, Forever you'll be mine

There's a pain deep inside me, eating away

no one here to love, maybe some other day.

Lonely hours passing, quiet and sad

thinking about you, and what we once had.

No sun touches my skin, only the night

walking without you, living in fright.

When tears dry on willows, When the sun doesn't shine

When the wind stops blowing, Forever you'll be mine

So I wait here for you, not knowing why

cause you'll never be back, we were a moment in time.


Foggy Life

have you ever found yourself surrounded by fog?

i look around but see the same cloudy image everywhere.

i try to feel my way hoping to find something;

someone that could help me through the myst.

am i just blind, or is the fog real?

the harder i try to see, the more frustrated i become.

i'm mad that i can't leave and i don't know what to do.

i'll keep stumbling along the hidden path beneath my feet

until it evaporates and my confusion clears.



















My Comforter, literally

Orange fantasies encased beneath

the protective shell,

a membrane layer of transcending warmth.

i stretch

and the mass contorts

to fit every bit of my being.

My tears absorbed

and swallowed by its tangerine

dyed threads.

breath heated

in the cocoon spun with

my slightest twitch and subconscious

disturbance in the dark light,

Its stuffing hiding the hunger, the alone,

the craving for you, the depression.

blanketing me as gently as a mother cradles a baby.

And in the cold of the night

I am at last cherished in its outstretched arms.



I sat down and I did something I haven't done in a while; write. I wanted to write a poem, a novel, or just a sweet paragraph. I couldn't I didn't know now of all the things I have forgotten what it is to release myself. The daylight grew father in my forever solitude as the sun set over my head in its beaming glory. The pen held no in. I couldn't write. My mind filling with ideas but they were to fast to let one casually slide down from my pen on to the blank paper. Is it right to hold this opportunity and to hide it like a blemish and conceal the ideas and thoughts of a growing life? I don not know. In everyone's eyes it is wronged but I saw it as beautiful.


"Which is His Last?"

The old tree in the night

Stands crooked and proud

Disfigured by time,

He stands in pain

He endures the storms

The unrelentless storms

They cripple the old, rotting tree

Yet he remains

He is beaten into submission

Yet his gives in to no one

But this old tree is weak

And no one will answer the question

"Which storm will be his last?"



Walking on the beach in the twilight hours.

Tide flowing in and out in a hypnotic rhythm.

Moon hanging low and the stars ablaze.

A soft delicate hand resting in my own.

Standing as the water rushes around our bare feet.

Her arms now around my neck.

I stare deep into her twinkling green eyes.

I caress her smooth angelic cheek,

And touch my lips softly to hers



A cover of identity

A role that must be played

Deep beneath the make-up

The mask will surely fade

Not hiding anymore secrets

Not hiding anymore pain

Your true identity will be revealed

When you step into the rain

It will wash away the script

And take away the lies

Make-up is an illusion

That is meant to fool the eyes.


Unblemished Heart

Dare I stain the unblemished heart

that travels willfully through the undergrowth of paranoia

Seeking solitude in rain swept forests

I follow her as she dances on the tips of golden wings

Faith she has in abundance

innocence bursting with exuberance

no chance for I to rekindle that feeling

but for now I shall draw my strength from her passion

Silently I safeguard her from the madness

for her spirit commands the right to such protection

Am I the fool for trailing in her shadow

hoping for a chance to feel her breath upon my lips

Will insanity prevail on the weakest one of all

will I loose it once again in the way I did before

Faith I have none in abundance

innocence no longer bursting with exuberance

what chance for I to rekindle that conception

so for now I shall draw my hope from her enthusiasm

James Ryan 1999



The horse sang the blues, the duck danced tap,

The goat was singing opera, the was rapping rap.

The sheep were eating grass, while the cows were jumping rope,

The geese were in the bathtub with their watermelon soap.

The cat was on the phone while the mice were potting plants,

The monkeys were in the greenhouse, and doing a funky dance.

I could go on and on but I do not have the time,

To be thinking of these animals, and their very silly rhymes.

By, Kristin Sahawneh



Who looked to see me, no one dwelled near my soul?

What heart broke for me, as I cast a stone?

Who wore who down by what stride?

Shallow thoughts were given, within my breath they did not lie.

Mistaken was I for something else. Tricked in some way was something I am not.

What evil possesses the words carefully laid upon your tongue?

Did I endeavor for this or did it fall upon my name?

Memory serves with fate such glimpses of a life fought with frustration to forget the weary words.

So the heart lies wrenched by scars for me, do I forget it or just become marred by my destiny?

The title put upon me bares less truth then the soul in which I am.

By Melissa Archibald Copyright 1998


How Long

Alone she cries throughout the night

Her tears she sheds as it darkens

The hurts passed over, every slight

And no one there to harken

Pains of the past, ripped open new

The hurts and scars now bleed

One's forgotten now fresh as dew

And no one there to heed

How long will we cause sorrow to grow

By thoughtless words and deeds

Then turn out eyes away just so

Never to take heed.




Why stand in a world of hate when you can stand in the glow of love in an

Everlasting night feeling all but one thing not believing you could feel the forbidden.

You feel it and hear it all around you, just not experiencing the true purity of the word and it's true existence.

Just to feel the soft, loving touch of your lips on me just to hold and caress your body, perfect and beautiful in every way imaginable. But to have it all end in an abrupt way.

Never would I believe I could not hold you and feel the tingle you gave. I can't realize, I can't the love I felt anymore.


The Baby

He's so innocent.

Not knowing the crimes.

He's so trusting.

Not knowing of the let downs.

He smiles.

Not knowing the tears.

He sees the light.

Not knowing the dark.

He has a big heart.

Not knowing of the part.

He's a able adviser.

Not knowing of the unable listener.

He's perfect.

Not knowing of the jokes.



The children of fire

all have the same desire.

To express

with finesse

the spirit that's admired.

With a soulful of feeling

they begin to reel in

the thought

that's not taught

that can touch a million.


Adam and Eve consumed by impulse had chosen to live in sin.

She would have had to change her name; but they were known to be akin.

Sheriff Keane should have found a way, to make them separate.

They lived near Millers Trestle alongside of highway eight.

Those two fought all day long; they simply could not arrange a truce,

but using his forty five seventy, really was abuse.

She must have driven Adam mad when she nagged him on that day.

For when Adam took up his rifle, He did intend to slay.

Shoot, load, and run, and you can't keep a bead, in spite of your desire.

Whenever he shot, Eve would duck or weave, I guess she feared hellfire.

He was used to having things his way, but couldn't seem to clear the slate.

She ran here and there around the farm. Eve would never accept her fate.

He sat down to rest on the chopping block, and determined to destroy the seed.

With the gun in his mouth, and some kindling on the trigger, Adam did succeed.

When sheriff Keane saw the scene, he assumed the day had been too hot.

Young Joe came by in time to see, Adam's brain spread across the lot.

While they scooped up poor old Adam, sheriff Keane stopped to comfort Eve.

Maybe that's the time Blalock picked it up, and slipped it in his sleeve.

Later in the bar Joe showed a shiny pocket piece, and his story wasn't dull.

Blalock said, "The proof the Lord spared Eve, is this piece of Adam's skull!"


Falling down.

Breathing out.

Never have to

breathe again.

Falling down.

Raging shout.

Never have to

scream again

Never have to live again,

never have to die.

Never have to cry again,

without knowing why.

Same fake, smiling face,

playing the part of a perfect child.

Same bloody mirror frame,

as the child

sleeps awhile.

Never have to live again.

Never have to die.

Never have to cry again

without knowing why.



.Because of a tremendous response, this Open Mic has been split into two parts. Click on Part Two for the continuation of March sessions.

You are so silent,

You speak with your eyes,

Intent on my lips,

Hearing my lies.

I cannot love you,

You mean to much,

I cannot hold you,

There's longing in that touch.

And I will cry,

Understand that it's true,

For all that I can't have,

All that is you.



You dream in colors,

I cannot see,

And yet you let me know them.

You take long showers,

Filled with cherry soap,

And sometimes you let me bathe with you.

You braid my hair,

With your long fingers,

And make me want to kiss you.

You're intrigued by my toes,

As am I yours,

And we let them dance together.

You hold me in storms,

Making me safe,

And then I adore you.


Someone Else

Have you ever wished you were someone else?

someone other than yourself

Have you ever wanted to get away?

to be someone else, just for a day

Does it seem like your lane is always jammed?

and everything you do is always dammed

Do you always seem to catch the red light?

and you can never seem to do anything right

Do you always try to make everyone happy, not sad?

but someone always turns out mad

If i change my name

would you treat me the same?

If i changed my face

how would i see this place?

If i changed my beliefs

would my mind be anymore deep?

If i was someone else

would i wish i was myself?


















Eyes of Demise

Poised in perfect posture,

Her deep glare of ominous darkness

Shines into, and threw me-

Past my sight and into other

Rivers of thought,

Hypnotizing my stare.

Like a virgin lake with intimate water,

She dives into me

Quickly devouring

Every thought and idea;

Engulfing my soul.

With no escape from her Medusa eyes,

My bones are hard with cold.

Slowly digesting my last remains,

Her eyes squint

Closing off this world-

Leaving me dried up

And dead.

As purrs echo in the silence-

She sits satisfied with her slay.



I thought I was over you

and that I could be strong

But then,

I saw you tonight

and became weak again

You always do that to me.

I miss you now

more then ever

I'm watching the moon outside my window

I wonder

where is your moon tonight?

Is it where your heart is,

high above the sky

in total darkness

impossible to reach?

Yes with sadness I grieve for you

However, this is the last time my darling

These are the last lines,

I will ever write for you again.

Genevieve Hargis


If I could learn to love you less,

the winds that blow in autumn hue

along the lonely avenue

would not recall the memories

of slender hands, piano keys,

a Chopin nocturne in the dark,

midsummer evening in a park,

a classic play and poetry

and modern paintings of the sea.

All these would lose their loveliness,

if I could learn to love you less.


I scream,

no one hears me.

I cry,

no one comforts me.

I slip,

I hold on tight.

I fall,

no one catches me.

I land,

no one helps me up.

I lay there in pain,

someone comes.

They hold out their hand,

I grab hold.

They help me up,

then let me fall back down in my pain.

I lay there still, confused, and lost,

I die and fade away,

will anyone notice?


My Heart Belongs to You

I still think of you as an angel

Despite the rejection

The one I adore

Finding no imperfection

I began to love you more

Everything you do

And those times when you speak

I look at you

And it makes me weak

I practically worship

The ground you walk on

Get down on my hands and knees

To beg for your affection

I am sure you notice me looking in your direction

So maybe I'm crazy

Infatuated too

But my heart is breaking

And my soul is aching

Because my heart

Belongs to you


I saw you in my tears

do you care they fall like rain?

I saw you in the smoke

that was meant to ease my pain.

I saw you in the fire

that burned the blackest coal.

I saw you in my heart

a perfect picture of your soul.

I saw your lips touch hers

and my thoughts turned to grieve.

If you could see yourself through me

would you be glad you can deceive???



Smile when you feel like crying,

Laugh when you feel great rage.

Cry when they kill your best friend,

......Clap when they're on the stage.

Hug them when you want to stab them,

Rape their minds of impure thoughts.

Leave them lingering in your footsteps,

......Scream when you hear gunshots.

Give when you're really hungry,

Eat only what is left.

Smile when you're really wanting,

......Leave behind internal darkening.

Sigh when you're suicidal,

Pray when your heart is bleeding.

Scream when you hear them laughing,

......Smile you're an Angel glistening.


A Little girl's song

Go to sleep little girl your in your own world now.

Go to sleep little girl 'till the one who loves you comes.

Daddy lays to close to you, mommy''s never home.

Sissy went to Montague, grammy went to Rome.

Betty Boop is in the trash, you dumped mommy's fake nail kit.

Daddy's gonna beat your @$$, you don't need to take this $#!+.

Go to sleep little girl, your in your own world now.

Go to sleep little girl, 'till the one who loves you comes.

Daddies gone to work, and you haven't ate all day,

So you and fluffy ate dads stash,

now in your bed you lay and lay.

Go to sleep little girl, your in your own world now.

Go to sleep little girl, 'till the one who loves you comes.



I am just here, standing, wanting you to come closer.

I am just here, sitting, waiting for you to sit beside me.

I am just here, lying, waiting for you to lie next to me,

and I am just here, crying, weeping in devastation, because

I gave you my heart and you threw it back in my face.

So I am just here, crying still, and I am just here lying,

alone without you near me, and I am just here, sitting,

pleading for you to come back to me, and I am just here,

standing, watching you walk away, and still you don't see

that without you I am nothing, therefor without you, I am just here.


"Broken Heart"
By: Christy Swift

A broken heart hurts far more

than anything I felt before.

As your love just walked out the door

Tears from my eyes started to pour.

Where all the words that I loved and cherished,

lies from your mouth that just up and perished.

I enjoyed the times we spent together,

even though it soon became stormy weather,

Now our love floats in the wind like a feather.

Unsure of where it's going, but knowing that it'll never return.


colors of nature's sound

watery starlit sky ablaze in a celestial mound

the sweet diadem of athenae lifted to bring down nature's brag

white and powerful, foaming breath, the heavenly stag,

pull back her bow to loose the arrow straight and fast,

as it stings the air and brings wrath in its blast,

escape for nature's greatest beast,

the magnificent one avoiding the feast,

she watches his fiery eyes glow in anger,

she the goddess for a moment fills with danger,

but then her weapon finds the place,

the brilliant creature falls from grace,

his eyes grow dark in mysterious quiet,

the stag is dead and it is the end of souls' riot.



he doesn't ponder he doesn't reflect

so how can he learn from one day to the next

he lashes out with wicked tongue

although my heart is tender and young

he doesn't ponder he doesn't reflect

just inflicts pain then promptly forgets

no hesitations no repents

that's why i haven't more tears they've all been spent

~~~~~~~~~~~~~by veronica ann graciano~~~~~~~~~


I sit alone

My heart beats slow

the love i felt, i feel no more

so sorry am i, for all the times i did cry

that is why i say goodbye.

this world can do without one more fool,

a pitiful heart that broke in two

alone and scared

i feel prepared

to end this all in just one fall.

your lies, i thought would never hurt

deep inside my soul you burnt.

love to you is just a game

love to me is a deadly shame

and with this thought

as i lie in the rain

i take this pain to my grave.

for if it wasn't for love

my life i could save and with this pain

i say goodbye.



turn around

you'll find me there

among the shadows

Of your despair

bound to your obsession

claimed by your hate

save me from your ending phase

before it's too late

give my heart back to me

you're not strong enough to change

it's walls are strong against you

built with nothing but your hate

free me from this hell

in which you chose to be condemned

it's not my choice to be here

i cannot pay for your sins

you walked away from my heaven

to burn within your misery

i can live without you

if only you'd forget me....



Prophets of old

dream of yonder time

In our modern age

wisdom without a dime

Men will pray thee

time without end

As for such things

heaven will not send

So men will fight

and many will kill

All will claim

"it's GODS will"

The war road

we all do track

destroy ourselves..

Never look back

These words of wisdom, take to heart, in order to live, do your part



deep in the woods

my heart finds shelter in the moss

I shudder

it's earthy scent beckons my nostrils

a single lark mourns overhead

my voice finds a song

branches quiver in the soft whisper of the wind

I am humbled before my Creator


She was innocent

Did she fill your desire?

A young girl

Did she light you on fire?

It has been hard to accept

Knowing what you've done

I don't know if I can consider you

My one and only son

You committed murder

Now look at your tears

All you have created

Is more and more fears

Was it for rape?

Was it for money?

It wasn't that long ago

That I called you my honey

You were raised with good morals

And this is how you show

I should of realized it

I didn't even know


Dear God,

You're always here 4 me

You've always been here

even when i turned my back

and tried 2 find a different way

Dear God,

You sent 2 me, 4 me

a friend who in a way

is an angel

2 help me see the way

Dear God,

it didn't come 2 me

until a trip with her

to Your House of Worship

Dear God,

and after a dream that

i believe You sent

2 me

i found the way

Dear God,

Thank You, 4 this gift

Thank You, 4 Laura

Thank You, 4 always loving me

and thank You, 4 so much more


The Things I've Always Thought

If I could put into words

The things I've been meaning to say

Life would be so much easier

For me to live each day

As these words hide within my heart

They seem to be getting scrambled

And don't know where to start

To say the things I've always thought

Tracy J. Pettyjohn


in the shadows of closed eyes

as clear as the day

from the dark comes a light

i stop to think

could this be a dream

or could this be reality

somewhere in between

the only daisy in the park

i walk a braid through the tiring trees

taken along by a song through the breeze

it took me to beauties never known

for centuries long left all alone

sad was her song

the only daisy in the park

why do you cry a breath disbelief

she cries to the world that she's never seen

i bend to kiss the petals that sway

for one day the world will watch us play

meaning of my life

the only daisy in the park


(by Dark

wild bells

silent now

infinite hells

no longer roar

moment of silence

in a field of sound

though death is silence

and silent we are

no yell

no scream

sound has fell

discard the old

another in charge

our spirits sold

slaves to silence


Ever since I was a child of ten

I've had the very best of friend

She may be tall and I admit, she is loud

so you'll never lose her in a crowd

Our friendship rope is very tight

you can tug and pull with all your might

Sometimes we feel like undoing it

but somehow we work our way through it

Only we can untie it

but still we dare not try it

We're together all the time

We play, ride bikes, and dine

Best friends forever more

I'll be there to open a door

If she falls and gets scraped up

I'll be there to doctor her up

She can always count on me

Wherever I may be

I will get to her as fast as I can

Even if I'm in a different land

As we near the end of every day

I never forget to say

I ask the Lord every night

shine on her with his light

Still when we are 90 years old

We'll be inside out of the cold

And I can guarantee

best friends we'll still be

My sister is my very best friend

Our friendship together will never end

Even if we are apart

She still remains with me; in my heart

So I ask the Lord to keep her safe and out of danger

The way he did Jesus in a manger

"I couldn't live without her" I pray

She made me what I am today

Even if she is my sister

If something happened to her I sure would miss her

She is my very best friend too



Life it seems, will fade away

Drifting further every day

Getting lost within myself

Nothing matters no one else

I have lost the will to live

Simply nothing more to give

There is nothing more for me

Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be

Missing one inside of me

Deathly lost, this can't be real

Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filing me

To the point of agony

Growing darkness taking dawn

I was me, but now He's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it to late

Now I can't think, think why I should even try

Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye


Justin & Jessica

Special and precious he is to me,

My brother, Justin, longs to be,

Just like any other kid,

But can't because of something God did.

God makes me suffer,

With pain like no other.

I know I'm losing him,

And it's making my life dim.

This disease we have is bad.

Worse than any cold you've had.

It eats away our muscles, you see,

Although you cannot tell by me.

It's there, believe me--I should know.

That's why I get so cold in the snow.

That's why my brother is so light.

Every day is a serious fight.

We could give up and say "Who cares?"

And become lifeless and hard to bear,

But what's the fun in that,

When you can swing a baseball bat?

All these things we take for granted:

Not Justin his life is slanted.

And then I think It's not so bad."

I think of Jessica and, oh how sad.

This past February she passed away.

Twelve years old and she couldn't stay.

She had the M.D. too,

And the cutest smile I ever knew.

Why did Justin have to get something like this?

To teach something to me, his sis.

Life IS worth living no matter how long;

Just hum a tune and someoooone will sing your song.

Dedicated to my brother Justin Knoblauch and in memory of little Jessica Kohrt!


Dark and cold is a lonely soul

nothing is complete, nothing is whole

alone i sit waiting for you

come to me, may our love renew

Our love was strong and it held me tall

without you, i'm destined to fall

i need your arms, to hold me tight

come to me, warm my soul tonight

The days we had have come to an end

the love we shared is gone with the wind

and still i long for your embrace

come to me, let love mine sorrow replace

Dark and cold is my lonely soul

without you i feel no whole

on i must move, without you here

stay form me, being alone no longer i fear



Knowingly I walk above my heart, feeling the touch of everything and the soul of eternity.

I faced fear with out knowing of my hearts desire.

Though I look free I was trapped in my own world.

Flying high above the sky looking down at the world be low me.

Knowing I have all I need and give all I could.

For just a minute I knew me.

As I come to the beautiful moon the silent orb is raising the light.

I feel the warmth against my skin.

Though do we all feel it the same?

The flowers smelt fresh as the day they bloomed.

Can't we all free ourselves to the nature and beauty of things?

Life can't be waste and though I know I do sometimes we must remember all little things to the fullest.

What might be the end is only the beginning.


No Name

Running through a field of black

There is no were to get to,

No way to get back

Dancing our way through time,

Turning back the years

Turning back my life

You broke the Camels back,

Treated me so earthly fresh,

Spread like cancer through my system

It changed my life and heightened yours

Have you come down the ladder?

O'elegant one do you still rein

Never did you make it,

A flop to your success

Your gone, to a place of new people

I wonder is you got there,

I wonder where you are

For cold aspirations circle my being

Page Copyright © AHA Books 1999
Poems Copyright © Designated Authors 1999

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