APRIL, 1998 Part II

Updated April 28 - trying to keep up - 1998

On cobblestone roads..

I have traveled..

I have seen the trees..

Fallen leaves...

Let me feel them.

Fragile leaves...

Let me heal them.

Broken and twisted...

Drink from my hands...

Gigantic blue skies...and

a sparkle...

In your eyes...

In this loneliness...

There is a bridge...

Between the blood and tears...

It leads to you...

To touch and hold...

To love and embrace...

To swallow the sweet wine...

Of your soul.

R.J. Sutton


It's not cold anymore,

and jackets are put back into the closet,

and old roads and old ways come undone.

I wanted winter to end when ut started,

but now thoughts chage,

seasons so many times have changed,

and I wish it was winter again,

and I could hide in my jacket,

closed up, warm.

Now it's spring,

not cold anymore,

I can't warm myself from the engine block,

or her small body.

It's not cold anymore,

but in my heart, it still is.


I listen to the surf,

the sound of waves, ocean

so many years ago

it was forgotten,

never appreciated.

I listen to the sound of wood,

wind through the trees,

a forest,

of forgotten childhood dreams.

I sit and listen to the noise of industry,

cars and neighborhood home stereo's

- blaring I think,

sometime low and in the distance.


My ears, my nose, my throat, my head,

That is why I'm stuck in bed.

My ears are aching,

They really hurt.

My nose is running,

I feel like dirt.

My throat is burning up in flames.

My head has been aching for days and days.

Who gave me this cold is what I ask?

Whoever it was,

Better run pretty fast.



We in ocean stream,

Two pebbles worn smoother now,

Borne far together.


Watching the cat fly by.

I feel like I am flyin high.

Bob says he's a glass of orange juice,

While I carefully loop a nuice.

Bob kicks the chair out,

And he begins to shout.

I start to fall,

And I make a sudden call.

But is not understood for it will never be!!!



Everyone seems so tall,

It makes me feel real small.

I'm in an all time low,

I just wish I could grow.

Everyone looks down on me,

I hate having to look up to see.

They're all as high as the sky,

and I'm as low as the snow.

I want to be in between,

So that I can be seen.



They say the world will end and I just don't believe them,

they say its true,

but I just say,

says you,

I think they all lie,

and I think,

they should die,


I leap from a tree I see the leaves and branches flash around me

then I fall onto the moss covered ground the dark green fungi has broken my fall

I climb to my feet and shake my head and awaken to the dawn of a new day


You wear a mask of slate

it covers your emotions,

you think I don't know about you

you are not like me,

but I can't help but love you,




the reality of this smoke

sends my heart away,

with glimmers of us

beneath the skies of tears,

but i cannot laugh

at the world in fires,

moans and gasps

of faces i only watched apart,

hours of regrets and sorrows

steal my faith in you,

and somewhere love is whole,

love is simple and plain,

hearts to beat together

in sunlight and union,

but not here,

ash to the scent

of my gaining misery,

a cry for my shadow.



last time

last time i did this was the last time

last time i did this was the first time

first time i wanted to in a long time

first time i thought it might be mine

last time i did this was the only time



As we have loved..

-let us love no more.

We have painted our hearts

in vain contempt..

and spent our nights in pious intent.

You have swallowed my pride..

-while i lay sleeping

creeping out the door,

while i lay dreaming.

A life with you is like dreamy illusion..

-so i wake from that dream in sweet yet,

bitter confusion.

Updated April 26 - where have I been? - 1998

love is life,

life is peace,

peace is reason,

reason is love


Love creeps round the bend like the morning yawning

catching you all bleary-eyed and unawares

Then the sunlight shines on a new morn

of pain and delight and fresher cares

Embrace love like you embrace the day

unsure of what lies ahead

And when night sends the sun on its way

Let love shine on in its stead




I now sit still

waiting for his face

I watch the sunset

the night drawing in

I feel peaceful

I smell dinner cooking

I place a flower on the table...

after his appearance

I sometimes hear angry words

I go about my work in silence

I don't respond to anger anymore

only the light...

his mood changes

his angry words depart

and in the morning before he leaves

the flower I left on the table

is left beside my bed

with a cup of tea.

Alish Hart...


The Outcast
Katherine England

And so I waited in that room,
amongst the black and misty gloom.

And as I wait, I fight my sorrow,
maybe it will cease tomorrow.

I hope for hopes, I dream of dreams,
Forbidden thoughts, I will not scream.

I'll suppress it so that no one sees.
Suspicions as, I'm on my knees.

My petals have fallen, I am through.
The rareness there, I long outgrew.

The fate that I prepare to face,
Will I ever find my place?

To be a four years old

And collect daffodils;

To idolize the god-like father.

The lost years

Somehow bring decide.

The gods overtime became monsters.

Everyday is one day closer to the end.

Every minute in one farther from childhood.

Lost worship

Lost pride

Lost sleep

And dreams

Sometimes I see dad

Collecting daffodils

And idolizing the god-like man at the cross.

I watch and wonder:

If anything is holy,

If any gods remain?


Time to make a difference

It is time to make a difference

time to take a stand

time to speak

time to lend a hand

time to help someone weak

It is time to make it over the fence

time to come out

time to share

time to tell what you're all about

time to show you care

for someone other than yourself

It is time to make a difference

Steffany goes to the pool,

She always does her homework for school.

She goes to the fair, she has blond hair,

Steffany breaths lots and lots of air.

One specialty is she likes to read,

At home she does that one good deed.

By:Steffany Spackler


below the walkway

catastrophic rocky hills

tumble to the ground


1 fervent mad cat

2 thousand shallow hipsters

3 hollow angels love


To my mom

rest your soul

for I am in shame

and out of control

I am sorry for everything

you may have seen

for I know you are

watching down on me

Through your eyes

a shining star

shines through my window

and leaves a scar

for I can never forget

the things I hear

for I can't remember you myself

I can only listen with my ears

I hope to be no disappointment

and I pray each day

that in bed

I can again see that star


Life is full of many dreams

Some are taken for granted

Yet some are fulfilled

and some enchanted

persuaded by friends

not to fulfill or go through with

these dreams

Dreams can be a major part of life

for without these dreams

there is no purpose to life

and their are no friends of mine

who would lead my dreams

in a road of life that is blind


Soothing, cooling, calming

shadows falling all around

patching the ground

like a quilt of spring.

Offering yesterday's dreams

in a dandelion

whose wings will start flyin'

after her yellow fades into gray.

Smelling home in the grass and clover

as a warm familiarity hovers over

like an old song

whose melody lingers on

long after the words have been



fax page one

donut coffee slug


flower and fright

summer spring full

cycle moon beam

eats here and there



page two....


Raccoons live in trees,

They use the trees for shelter

Then they hunt for food.

By: Dawn Wallace


he's strutting his stuff

through the woods when he stopped, looked

BOOM! feathers flew high



beaches are sandy,

have birds flying all around,

and are beautiful.


Gray grandmother,

Easy to love

Hard to love

Hard to let die


Whiskers is my cat

His belly is very big

I really love him


Songs are filled with joy

when Hanson add their voices

my troubles leave me


leaping from the sky.

came a beast a lion! a lion!

deadly as can be



Dalmatians have spots

Dalmatians are black and white

I love then a lot



There was a time

When I was so brokenhearted

Love wasn't much of a friend of mine

The tables have turned now

'Cause me and those ways have parted

That kinda' love was the killin' kind

All I want is someone I can't resist

I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed

I was cryin' when I met you

Now I'm tyrin' to forget you

Love is sweet misery

I was cryin' just to get you

Now I'm dyin' 'cause I let you Do what you . . .


The Fog





Seldom felt

Longed for




No one hears

No one comes


Without you...

All the poetry is gone

Lost to the wind

In a sad country song

B flat

Without you...

All stars fell from the sky

never to return

lonely tears I will cry


Without you...

I shall pick up and move on

put my dreams aside

Hope to find a new dawn



Our love is like a tulip's petals;

dormant to the world,

but ready to be awakened

when touched by the warmth

of the sun's light.


I don't

wish for much, just

a kind word or a smile

it would soothe me just like

your touch



what I do now

makes things so much clearer

brings insightfulness into my

dark nights


you see the truth

but it doesn't matter

I lost the game before we had

a chance


I saw a penny on heads

Bad Luck

I didn't pick it up

Uncle Al did

"That's good money."

He said

And despite his bad back

He bent down to pick it up......

And seemed satisfied

As he placed in in his pocket

Uncle Al

Died all alone...

And left me only a hat

In his will


He took the money with him...


Another bad night

Follows another hard day

Down the long



Road to Oblivion.....



spring comes all sunny

new bugs all in a flurry

die in big piles a day later


we're still waiting

for apples

larry rau - California


Thanks! Larry. Glad to see you around! \o/


"Siren's Song"

My heart will heed the siren's lovely call.

"Come to me my wholly, unworthy, thrall.

In water's deep we shall consummate our love.

Your loving heart I cannot help but involve."

I dive to be with the one who calls me.

Amid the wave I'll be no more lonely.

Though to my death I most assuredly dive,

I have never in my life felt more alive.

John A. Theivagt © 1998


My baby girl has flown away

Away with the north wind

There she will forever stay

I could not take care of her

On soft clouds she may now lay

A harp she has in one hand

I can almost hear her play

Baby girl you are nolonger mine

This I must now always say

You didn't deserve this

It wasn't right that way

My heavy heart is my price

The price I will always pay

For my baby girl has flown away

Away with the North wind

Never to return, forever and a day


21 (3x, joyce)

Ineluctable modality of

twenty one,

unknown until the,

day is gone.


I sit here
In your arms
I wonder at the stars
I feel no pain
I feel no pain
or sorrow.
Here I will stay
With you
my love.


In The Clouds

Lost in thought,

My mind flew away,

With the wind.

I called for the essence,

And it came to me,

From underneath my skin.

Silent voices flutter past,

I ask myself,

"How much longer will this last?"

Unwillingly, my mind has been placed,

In the clouds.


To love and to honor

All is fair in love and war

till death do us part


In my opinion beauty is

a dark, black sky!

Luminous stars shining bright

unfathomed miles away;

so vibrant and bright, full of life.

Then a blue sky comes and takes

them away, but where?

How can something so beautiful

disappear into nothingness?

For what another meaningless day?

I pray that night falls so again

i am at peace!

- C.A.Anderson 98'


The Sun...

The sun.

The word has so many meanings and feelings.

Feelings I cannot describe.

Like you.

You leave me with an indescribable feeling.

A feeling like the sun shining down on me with its sweet essence

Of its own angles.

Somewhere. . .

Will it EVER be found???


open doors

are full

of dreams

and I have

walked through

enough to know

that you sorely

ache for

what I will

not give

oh how sweetly

I hear you

now I am

with wife

and child

please whisper

in some other man's


not to say

that my doors

never open

but my taste

for flesh

is reserved

go now

tenderly torment

a virgin


without a full moon

to guide him


I'll forgive you

the loneliness

of my youth


Where are you,

when I need you most,

through the days,

so true.

Can you feel the pain,

do you bare,

your shame

Do you even know my name.

Mom warned you,

warned you from the start,

but you could never beleive,

believe that it was true.

Now look at where you are,

you had no time to chat

If you had only

went to the bar !

It took away your life,

It took away your dreams,

It took away your memories,

and it took away me !



I'm so confused at times,

I just don't know what to do.

I have no one to turn to.

I'm all alone in this lonely world.

Standing here looking out the window,

At the cold cruel world below.

It's such a long way down,

I'd like to jump, but I'm

Afraid to hit the ground.

I have no one to talk to

No one to be my friend,

All I have is what's bottled

Up inside me.



The deep gashes caused

from your dim-witted scheme

shall never heal

Continue to feed me your cruelties

your just wasting time

you can't phase me

nor touch the pain hence inflicted

I am already dead


Not Red

Worship my shoe!

It's blue!

Not red!

Not in my head!

Not what i say?

You'll pay!

i'll choose!

What are you ooze?

Worship your shoe?

Not blue?

It's red?

What's in your head?



try to feel like a flower

- try to be one

and you life depends

on a rainy shower

- and the sun

try to feel like the grass

growing free

and you shall stand

while time passes

for a tree

try to feel like the rain

falling down

and you shall heal

every pain

the earth feels

try to be like a man

becoming strong

and you shall

in time understand

and grow along


Summer Haiku

summer is always

fresh in the morning like you

when you are smiling

By Peter


Mystic trees

Crystal rain

Grant us dreams of

Joy and pain

For there's no place

I'd rather be

Than the fortress of green

Where i follow thee


fly blown dog

beneath the umbrella of green leaves

surrounded by refractions of light

prismatic patters

no need

no want

no feeling at all

and then

as if a reflected image

in the long dead peripheral

a spark of spark of season awakes me

wet with red mud

my body swings out over clouds

and down into her warm womb smell


in my moods i am oblivious to the cold

a cold heart unfeeling

the soul-wounded shrinks back to avoid further pain

to shut out the world rather than risking hurt

so everything becomes black-and-white

slow motion silent movies

a slow cocoon from which nothing emerges

waiting for a warm sign that the world is friendlier

and the wind less chilly



I am lost

and no amount of twisting

turning and avoidance

will set me free

or help me find my way



a crow swooped down and ate my trail to happiness

I hope the breadcrumbs swell inside his throat

and burst through his soul


we just want to have some fun

before our life is through

so I must keep going on

to find a way to you

there are clouds in the sky

the are flowers to pick, and do

but I still don't know why

I am so in love with you

hold me tight tonight

because I am lonely and blue

that' s right you just might

still be in love with me too

By Peter



Tears of joy,

I think not.

Tears of pain,

Is what I got.

Days and nights of rain,

for I know,

On your love,

I will never gain.

The rain may stop,

The tears may cease.

Can all the money in the world,

Buy my heart a little peace?

By: Matthew McDuffie


You'll never know the peace I feel

when our two souls entwine.

You'll never know the love I feel,

or know my joy inside,

You'll never know just what I see

when love gets in my eyes.

You'll never know the breadth or depth

of love's great compromise.


Summer Haiku

anything I say

about summer is not enough

just the colors are

By Peter


Oh Love of my Life

I wrote you a haiku, and

it was very short.


there are songs in my heart

that I know of

and I sing them to you

so dearly

every time I am lonely

and full of distrust

you stand with me ever

so clearly

and my soul seem somehow

so lost

for the handling of live

is sometime so rough

there are songs in my heart

that I know of

and I sing them to you

so dearly

By Peter


To Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf

The luck of the draw

Has put us here,

In this great land

That we hold dear.

Del Norte is

Another word,

To represent

The freedom bird.


We have the means to work our dreams.

If you're blessed to stay

In the USA,

With work that looks like play,

Please thank your stars

Or go away.


My Poem.

By Aimee Kling

age 8

I love to read. I love to right. That's why I'm working on this day and night.

I hope you enjoy this poem here. I'll be finished before next year.


I am so sorry.

Sorry I never returned your calls.

Sorry I never woke up happy enough to say, "Good morning."

And I am sorry I have to say good by to you.

I am sorry for everything.

So I just want you to know that I am sorry.

"Good by."

Copyright--------Casey Lynn W.---------1778



They feed you poison.

You pay for disease.

Rotting your inside,

with processed nutrition.

Worms making nests of,

your organs infested.

Wake from this dream,

you grasp so firmly.

Become what you fear,

let go of survival.

Hide within darkness.

Greet me when bleeding,

with bandage of love for,

the suffering of hearts.















Dentist Mike

By Aimee Kling age 8 1\2

People think that I am cruel, that I don't care for them. I may hurt you

a little bit but I really do not try. I do my work so carefully and yet

I'm treated bad. It makes me oh so sad. My name is Dentist Mike and I

would like respect tonight. Cause really it does truly hurt when you kick

me in the knads.


"Endless as time"

Endless as time

I shall tell you why

The world will never cease to exist

It will always persist

Indeed I tell you why the world continues to exist

It is the will of God that allows it to go on

Written by: MaryJo (penname)


Secrets Cherished

]Moon-lit girls

ravishly discussing temporary love

and stingy cheerleaders.

Superficial excitement

over your acquiantance's

new boyfriend

and his even newer BMW.

You would rather write poetry.


Questioned in unison.

Trying to share the secret of your life

and passion

without giving away

all the beauties you experience.

Some things

are better left




language is the problem

limited by words

trying to express the unlimited

but if only one could speak in the language of hearts


without words



language fails to do love justice

so open your heart to mine

and listen...



"How long?" I asked

"Forever!" said the devil with the beautiful smile

I never knew forever was so short

"How much?" I asked

"With all of my heart" said the devil with the beautiful smile

I never knew a heart could be so shallow


At This One Kiss

Soon the fire flies,

reveal these eyes.

Shinning sun-beams;

through flowing streams.

My loves hearts

stare hides frigid air,

reveals warm hands.

His tender strands.

This of life's perks brings forth fire works.

Nothing tragic;

only magic

at this one kiss.


Not wanted

Life is sometimes unwanted,

but we go on.

Life is not what we want

So we don't want to go on,

But we go on.

Life can go on

even if we do not want it to go on.

So the choices we make

make the life we have

have no meaning,

For we made a choice that

had effected our life

So we don't want to go on

Life is not wanted

Because of the choice we made

Life is sometimes unwanted,

But we go on.........

By LinPasz501


I was walking down the street one day

and looked down at my wrist.

My watch was gone for sure, I say;

so I looked for it, unable to resist.

So I searched all of the neighborhood

and everywhere else I possibly could.

Then I looked down at my other hand,

and there it was, along with its band.


"What is death?"

Death is an enlightening of the body,

Which ends an existence.

Death can be morbid or dreary,

But not for me.

Death is joyous and happiness,

It ends torment.

After death, there is no life,

Just death.

After death people cry for sorrow,

But for knowing they are living in torment.

"That is death!!!"



carve the lines

meager being of mine

to trace the slope

and circle around

to the beginning




flutter and flee

against the rising

of perpetual



Friends are there when you need them,

Some forever,

Some until they have something better to do.



i'm sick

and dead


all over

what have i done

to her

and you


part of me

have i hurt her

for what

and why


never me

i have killed us



Beautiful Unknown

Show me

your face,

that i might see,

and then embrace.

Tell me

your name,

my destiny,

and hearts proclaim.

Reveal to me

your soul,

my harmony,

and only goal.



will you bear

that in mind

that summertime

is new and fresh

and winter has

been left behind

though its beauty

is no more less

and every word

that sings a song

shall always be

most beautiful

you need not have

a poem long

to feel it is

quite strong and full

By Peter


Subtle and gnawing,

these notions freeze me.

Bathe me and soak me

within these masses.

Masses of your hair

falling around my face

as you kiss me.

I breathe you

and feed upon you.

I am your love goddess.

I am your sugar cane.

I am what you need

just to get through the day.


whatever I do

I do it for you

whatever I say

it will be okay

so believe in my love

believe in it now

believe in my love

it will get along somehow

like sun is to sea

like clouds in the sky

so are we

with love that can't die

whatever I do

I do it for you

whatever I say

it will be okay

with hands joined together

the force shall unite

with love that can't die

we both shall abide



phantom plots of green

fertilized by some

trampled by others

petition for position

knowing not where to sign.



steadfast and strong

emerging as he does


silent and somber

losing touch


hums it's way

down the corridor

and sanity lingers on...



The mountains reach high,

High, into the sky.

Some peeks never to be found,

and they make no sound.

Mountains have their secrets.

Some, not even found yet.

Secrets about how they came,

And how, some, were put to shame.

Mountains, big and bold,

Mountains, young and old,

Are here to stay.

To the very last day!


Who i am

We be blue sweat and bare beauty

cool rain, poetry, beat, music

smooth delicious skin, essential



Teenage Wasteland

At the age of fifteen

he left his home,

Determined to make it

on his own.

A nice hot meal

and a soft warm bed,

These are just memories

kept in his head.

Late at night

he stays awake and ponders

Should he have stayed at home

he can't help but wonder.

He can't go home

he knows it's true

All he could say was

I know I've disappointed you.


Some people say it takes time to fall in love

But oh I beg to differ

That day as you walked in the door,

I knew it was love at first sight

Then after you left you got in her car

That's when I realized I had made a mistake

There I was at the dance with no partner

So i went Home, went to bed, and cried myself to sleep


''I hate mom, I hate dad

''Dad hates mom, Mom hates dad

''It simply makes you want to be sad.''


i rise above the din

held out here by a spinning wind

like a god

or delusional animal

in a high place

but here i am

pissing on the passing cars

flaunting my pretty face

and healthy ass

to no one and nothing

and have no fear

i will destroy you

as you lie bleeding

hope a broken husk


i will forget you were ever born

for i am too high up

to focus on the past


I Love Spring

I Love Spring

When the little

birdies sing.

And the flowers

start to bloom,

To wipe away the

winter's gloom.

But the best part

of all

Is that there is no

school 'till fall!


The Mourning Dove

Often have I heard the dove

Mourning some remembered love.

Seldom have I ever seen

Lovers dressed in lovers' green

Ever moving through the world

With their loving unimpaired.

Always seems each comes to end

On the shoulder of a friend.

At the coming of the night,

At the closing of the light,

Often have I heard the dove

Mourning some remembered love.



Tin can baby,

Born as the moon.

Favored forever and ever.

Secondly to anyone,

Similar to he.

Compressed against the odds,

But he survived the deeds.

He can see through all.

When he is grown,

He'll own all the lands.

Lovingly he'll groom them all.

When he is grown,

He will be the new moon.


If a sparrow flew knowingly

into my room

I would have something to ask

along the lines of flight.

What more could the sparrow discuss?

Those who close the window to their room

have less than nothing to show

along the lines of courtesy.

What more would the sparrow want?


Why can't we stop loving someone?

(Why did he stop loving me?)

I will never forget the time we spent together

the time we became friends

the time we spent close

the time our hands first touched

oh my heart

I thought it was going to beat right out of my chest

his soft touch

knowing, thinking

someone loved me

then tears, many tears,

then I ask why again

Why won't my heart stop hurting?

I feel that my heart will never stop loving him.



"Smoke Signals"

She answers me

In the stillness that engulfs my soul

Yes she sends a clear resolution

To satiate the cat

Her goal

Yet it still kills me

For as I have been patient

What I hear is that which I fear

Twice it pounces

My lament

Relief from the sea

The light of morn leaps at my brow

It is a glimmer of hope

Of a time not yet come

The prowl



in the stillness of the night

the cold horror of me sleeping alone

i feel the wind blow against my barren skin,

i hear the storms outside, waiting for you to come in

there is silence in the air, when you aren't there,

hoping that you will come and love me tonight.

i'm still



No More a Smile

No more a smile from you to me

No more the love that used to be.

Instead just emptiness and blank expression

Polite hellos and false impression.

Sincerity expected once to stay

Has packed it's bags and gone away.

To see your face afar sometimes.

The bell of bitterness, how it chimes.

"Hello," she says. "How are you?"

There never was a me and you.

I'm just a person she knew a while

No more magic, no more a smile.

By John Davies



Running through the Paris streets

Your hair was like a flame

Tearing through the gray

The numbed portrait painters

brushes frozen as they gazed

wishing they could pause time

capture us on canvas

We must have looked like thieves

fearing capture

But we weren't running from anything

We were chasing life with grasping hands

and thirsting laughter

We were enviable that day


Blowing softly in the wind,

a flower that is gold,

the stem in the breeze bind,

as the petals stand bold.

A rose is it name,

a symbol of love,

none to blame,

the God above.


Feature copyright © by AHA Books 1998.

All poems are copyright © 1998 by the authors.
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