up-dated December 20, 2000 to wish everyone a Blessed Holy Season!
I will put a candle on the windowsill.
And I will forget to shut the door.
And I will put a teapot on the gas-stove,
And I will wait for guests.
Let him who is lonely now come to me
Or him who is tired of everyday trouble.
We will drink tea and talk about nothing.
Or just keep silent
Looking at the ceiling.
Thinking everyone about his own.
And outside the window Ė rain,
And outside the window Ė night,
And fatigue of the last day will lie on the town as if
The candle has burnt out by fire
Having not left the trace.
Only memory will keep
The names of the last day.
Oh so close.
To Christmas night.
Mary J. Kellar
Iíve worked like a dog and am tired and worn,
To bed before midnight is what I have sworn,
Iím sorry Santa Iím totally pooped,
I donít even have strength into presents to snoop.
The cookies and milk are right on the shelf,
In the frig, Santa, so just help yourself.
Donít worry about me or presents this year,
A good nights sleep Santa would bring me such cheer.
The kids are tucked in, the cats out for the night,
My husband is snoring, his pjís are a sight.
The clock is all wound and the dogs by the bed,
Donít wake me dear Santa, dreams dance in my head.
Iím tired and worn just as pooped as can be,
I canít help you wrap gifts or decorate trees,
Iíve reached my limit no more can I do,
Santa left a short note only saying, ďME TOO!Ē
Our Christmas tree is cut
The decorations are up
The cookies are done
The mistletoe is hung
The presents are bought and Wrapped
The checkbook is tapped
The choir songs are learned
The agendas are confirmed
The children's excitement each day seems to grow
Their faces have a constant glow
The pace has been steady
And we are finally ready
I love Christmas
It's a joy I would never miss
But I want to make one thing clear
I'm glad it only comes once a year
XMAS THROUGH THE SENSES-FIVE HAIKU
Through the car exhausts,
A hint of pine and spice--
Christmas in the city.
Any other time
So much red frightens,
Now, it shouts "Merry Christmas!"
Ringing cash registers
Deafen: good hearts
Still hear the Blue Army's bells.
Gram, Mom, Sis,
The same love seasons their Christmas cooking.
How can my poor fingers
Know satin, lace velvet?
Bless the Christmas card!
Dear God, protect my son, a child
against a world both hard and wild.
Shield my little lad from sin,
I hope his battle he will win.
That fight , at such enormous cost,
in pain I fear his father lost.
Dear Christ , I wish I was far stronger,
and yes, I wanted to stay longer.
But while I have to keep away.
I dream of Tom and pray each day.
Ivan Allen Walton
I'm a single parent mother
with two children left at home,
life is such a struggle
when all they do is moan,
i try my best for them
but that's not good enough,
i cry myself to sleep at night
cause life just seems so tough,
i wake up in the morning
wondering what today will bring,
but will life get any better
will my heart ever begin to sing,
but i don't blame the children
because they never asked to be born,
if the truth is known
there little hearts are torn.
the odds are rarely defied
good and evil collide
and once again good has died
another turned to the darkside
sadly I'm not surprised
I hear the sorrow of all those who've cried
but our hands are tied
friends or foes
we all have to live with the choices we chose
rows of children stand on their toes
just for a glimpse and to follow our lead
but they only see greed
people in need
and hearts that bleed
stop planting the wrong seed
I can't recall when it began-
when my blood was no longer red.
Now I bleed continually.
A push, a kick, a shove, a word, a look,
and I bleed until all of the life is drained
and my head spins with hunger and fear.
Every pore of my body reveals green blood;
dark and thick.
As I attempt to wipe it off with a thin, white cloth,
it disappears and runs away
like an uncontrollable fire
burning my skin, turning my breath to ashes.
I know it is too late because
the blood has squeezed my body
for any remains of life
and my lips have turned a pale green.
TO DREAM YOU MUST OPEN YOUR EYES...
THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY
SHE IS SITTING UNDER THE TREE
SHE IS SITTING UNDER THE CHOCOLATE TREE
SHE IS BEAUTIFUL...SHE IS PERFECT...
I AM NOT...I AM NOT HAPPY
TO DREAM YOU MUST CLOSE YOUR EYES ...
SHE IS SLEEPING UNDER THE CHOCOLATE TREE
SHE IS DREAMING UNDER THE CHOCOLATE TREE
SHE IS BREATHING QUICKLY UNDER THE CHOCOLATE TREE...
THREE RAVENS IN A COMMON GRAVE...
TO DREAM YOU MUST CLOSE YOUR EYES...
SHE IS AWAKENING UNDER THE CHOCOLATE TREE...
THE SUN IS SETTING INTO THE RASPBERRY SEA...
WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME...I AM IN HELL...
THE CHOCOLATE TREE IS BURNING...
NEVER CLIMB A FALLING TREE...
NEVER CLIMB A FALLING RASPBERRY TREE...
NEVER CLIMB A BURNING CHOCOLATE TREE...
SHE IS WEARING A SOMETIMES DRESS...SO BEAUTIFUL...
RICKY SIHLER DE SANTA CRUZ
The Old Captain.
jan oskar hansen
A ship of rocks, beached and washed clean
By the sea. Her master, a grizzled one
Legged seagull stands watch on the bridge.
The crew perch on railing rocks, argue amongst themselves when the old pirate looks towards
The open sea and fly on wings of memories.
It won't be long now before a younger gull
Will take its place, and he's free to soar away
Till he meet the horizon and his youth.
The Time I Fell
I could hear the silent sting for years
Scars of life remaining and I still haven't overcome my fears
I will always regret what I did,
Even though I just had to take a shot at it.
I remember going up, and coming down as fast as a speeding bullet.
It felt as if it was the end of the world, and the end of me.
As I swam back to the raft, I could picture what happened moment by moment
I will always feel that vivid piercing sting as I fell from the parasail into the vast blue sea.
the leaves fall faster than the twigs of time
the acorns form a perfect line
but the real truth is the dirt below it all
the real reason that it all must fall...
A SMALL MEDITATION ON THE EXPANDING UNIVERSE
E. Waverly Land
The experts say
I heard it on the radio so it must be true
That the Universe is getting bigger
Wider and wider as we speak
And then she died. And I asked
How can this be true
That the universe is getting bigger
As my world is getting smaller
Then it came to me like a big moth in the night
The Universe is indeed getting bigger
Because it is falling apart.
I bury my face in your sweater,
As the wind upon my face gets colder,
Find the solace I've been searching for,
In the comfort of your shoulder;
Breathing in the salty air,
Hearing the ocean roar,
I am in your arms,
And can ask for nothing more;
Except the finite of time,
May i just erase?
So that everyday of eternity,
I am lost inside your space...
I try to write but it don't make sense
I thought I could but I guess I'm dense
My patience is wearing very thin
My face wont even produce a grin
The pen wont move, my papers blank
I've given my hair it's final yank
My papers end up in wadded balls
across the room and down the halls
I must be tired, I'll get some sleep
Before the trash here gets to deep
tomorrow will surely be a better day
But before I sleep I better kneel and pray
And then in the morning I'll use a new pen
And then I'll be able to write again
But as I laid there trying to sleep
I found the words while counting sheep
I ran upstairs with my new pen
And started making trash again
Gift of Eloquence
As I blindly wander through normalness
My lips crave to be moistened with
The gift of eloquence.
So as tongues search for language in futile desperation
My mind races for inspiration.
Trivial thoughts flood my being
Hushing it to remission.
Brain cells die with frivolous thinking
Not conformed to the way
I must exist
Binding my soul to oblivion.
My lips dry and crack
Lost tongues wither and die.
Normalness infects my soul.
Striped he is from the dawning, natures way of the warning.
Eyes ever green and glowing, fascination in them showing.
Victims knowing this striped death, but for many their last breath.
He is the ultimate in nature killing, not always food yet willing.
His steps ever sure with pride, knowing he need never hide.
No dark shadows fill him with dread, he is the tiger, sure of his tread.
But for all his power and might, there is the one foe he can not fight.
One that fills with fear and rage, the one he knows, it is old age.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I look at you, my heart beats fast I lose my breath.
Your pretty face your smooth skin is a sweet embrace,
I slowly rise up my body and lay a kiss upon your face.
I sense this smell rising above creeping through my nose,
Smells of flowers, weeds, and a red or yellow bright rose.
So sweet, so right and filled of powerful force of love,
A smell that makes me reach way past friendship like a dove.
Even though it's now gone away and miles apart,
I can still smell it and be happy because it's in my heart.
I think of you when I smell the smell,
Because it's you that I smelt it on can't you tell.
Before you came in my life my world was really bent,
But it's filled with emotions and laughter all because of your scent.
I was yours and you were mine
There was one single moment when
the whole world vanished, without a care
I was yours and you were mine.
That night walking under the star
lit sky, revealing our soul to each other,
I was yours and you were mine.
In July we danced in the rain,
splashed in the puddles and caught colds,
I was yours and you were mine.
Last night you told me you loved me
and tears welled in my eyes
I was yours and you were mine.
Tonight, our hands folded between us
hanging like a basket filled with our love,
I am yours and you are mine.
you speak of this heart,
this thing i am supposed to possess
this pumping demon inside my chest that is supposed to
somehow make me feel..
i do not know the name of this heart,
nor do i know of its existence in my body..
i am not aware of anything pounding in my chest,
controlling how i feel
towards you or anywhere else..
i have never felt it break,
i have never felt it grow,
i am not aware..
my head hurts,
and my head breaks..
my mind grows,
and my mind weeps..
but i know nothing of this heart..
A Memory Lost and Forgotten
The air clung to the clouds as if begging them to stay.
Afraid to let go I do the same.
Life goes on never stopping for a quick breath.
Never stops to notice all that happens.
Leaves twirling in the wind
Children running in circles.
How I wish all could do the same.
How I wish things could last forever
And not disappear into thin air
Becoming a memory lost and forgotten.
I just want you to know
you make me feel like nothing
when you didn't care if I was crying
and couldn't see that I was dieing.
don't you care that I need other people
but I put them on hold so I could please you
Waited in fear till you got home
then waited some more feeling so alone.
Sitting so scared
afraid to move or breath
knowing you might try to hurt me.
What if I do something that isn't so right
Why am I always so wrong
Why can't I be right?
I didn't know why
Didn't know how
You could look at someone so empty inside
and not even care.
not wanting to eat
trying to be perfect
so you might love me.
Now your gone
but I feel you so near
trying to forget you
but still feeling fear.
Trying to love myself
but not knowing how
can't figure out why people say I'm a great gal
Nothing about me is remotely pleasing
when I look at myself I get a bit queasy.
Still feeling like a failure
not knowing how to improve
wishing I could completely forget you
Kari Ivylynn Pichora
James M. Kilpatrick
templed in black robes.
speaking clarion chatter,
from raised dais,
on issues constitutional,
before a nation without ears,
waiting for men in suits and promises,
to lead a nation founded on
words, ideas; blind
sworn to on a book to a God Unknown.
Do you judge people good or bad?
If you do, what basis do you have.
Would it be the good they do,
or is the bad more important to you?
Does the absence of bad make them good?
Should an absence of good make them bad?
If they do good things for a bad purpose what then?
Is it worse, to pretend?
Do you keep a tally?
Is one good, then one bad treated equally?
Are all the facts known,
Before your judgment is cast in stone?
Now you understand,
Why I've washed my hands.
You see I don't have to worry,
because I've removed myself from the jury.
You look up and down
looking right into space
confused, mixed, scared
your mind is running
is it worth it for you
relax, breath, try to
open your mind
ohhh you take another step
1 more and the irreversible is done
look at me
listen to me
fix the mess
then you will see
it would have never
been worth it to take that step
SIMPLICITY AND BEAUTY
They were the simple deeds that she did that satisfied me,
They were the 'hellos' with the smiles showing that she noticed me,
They were the 'how are you's and the hugs showing that she cared for me,
They were the 'I've been looking for you everywhere' and the tugs showing that she thought I was important,
I was just so busy and blind,
To return those 'hellos', 'how are yous' and 'I've been looking for you everywhere,'
To show that I cared too,
To show that I noticed too,
To show that I respected too,
The beauty of love is that it is so simple,
It can be shown in a few words or actions,
An yet mean so much,
It is just that many of us take it for granted,
And don't remember to give it as well.
The Day of Cleansing
Silver, shiny, wet with fog that dulls its luster. That is today, outside.
Misty as the Amazon Rainforest, and when wetness surrounds you,
almost as beautiful as it.
Wetness so cleansing and refreshing, it's like you've been trapped for days,
in the desert, and suddenly you're rescued and thrown into a frozen waterfall.
A fresh start, washing away impurities of the world.
How often this happens! How much cleansing our world requires.
Inside today, trapped here, this place that darkness blankets,
I want to be let loose, to run out in the cool liquid crystals,
those that will smack my bare back,
that will drown all that is gross.
Inside, it is the unfortunate child whose mother keeps him under the umbrella,
though he longs to play in the mud.
Out of the hands of the SEC,
Back from the Pit where the felons board
I thank the lawyers who earned their fees
For my undiminished hoard.
Caught in the grip of nasty fate
I opted for a nolo shot.
Under the laws of New York State
I did some time, but not a lot.
Beyond the cell, the bars, the wire
Looms a record I'll always bear,
Yet, aided by a p.r. choir
A brighter image will soon appear.
It's not important the stuff I did,
How crookedly I played the game,
I can buy out of a blighted past,
I am above a sense of shame.
It is time
we must return now
retire to our world of abstract anonymity
and re enter
the birthplace of our non existence...
Krystal Lynn Wallace
I cry for hurt
I cry for sorrow
I cry for my loss
And your no tomorrow
The days we spent
Will no longer be
For you and i
Suddenly became just me
As i walked into
That somber place
Down my face
My husband sat
At my side
And held me tight
As i cried
For five long months
We stayed apart
And every day
It broke my heart
I sat and thought
And only cried
If i had only
Sat aside my pride
We could have had
More time together
But now your gone
And will be forever
I've learned a lesson
But it wont bring you back
Now a place in my heart
Will always lack
If i had done
What most told me to
And put away my pride
I could have been with you.
MUSIC OF LOVE
SOFT MUSIC, CANDLE LIGHT AND THE BONDING OF OUR MINDS
SEEING THROUGH THE DIM LIGHT THE BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU ARE
SUCH BEAUTY AND INTELLECT ONE SELDOM FINDS
AS WE DINE THE HEAVENS ARE MISSING A STAR
MELLOW HARMONY WITH A FLAME AS OUR HEARTS BEGIN TO DANCE
ANTICIPATION OF EMBRACING YOU WITH OUR FIRST KISS
WITH MIND AND BODY SHALL WE TAKE THAT CHANCE
THOUGHTS AND TALKS SO INTIMATE HOW CAN LOVE MISS
DELICATE RHYTHM THE SPARK OF LOVE INFLUENCING OUR BODIES TO CARESS
SENSATIONS OF UNKNOWN PASSION AS I HOLD YOUR BODY CLOSE TO MINE
REVEALING INNERMOST THOUGHTS AND DESIRES OUR MINDS UNDRESS
TENDERLY KISSING YOU HEARING THE BELLS AS THEY CHIME
HARMONIZING THE DUET AS THE COMPOSITIONS ABOUT TO UNFOLD
PASSIONATE ENCOUNTER OF OUR BODIES AND HEARTS
ENCHANTED BY LOVE MAKING AND TIME IS ON HOLD
THE PLEASURE AND JOY OF ROMANCE WHEN THE SAGA STARTS
ECSTASY IS THE MUSIC OF LOVE AND OUR PRIMEVAL FORCE
EACH MOVEMENT, CHORD SHARING TWO HEARTS AS THEY MELT
THE JOINING OF OUR BODIES WITH THE MIND AT ITS SOURCE
REACHING THE SUMMIT OF THE MOUNTAIN LOVE IS FELT
David M. Bayliss
I hate the way i still like you, and you don't care,
I hate the way i miss you, when i know you wont be there,
I hate the way you never look at me, and all i can do is stare,
I hate that i miss your voice, your eyes and your hair,
I hate how girls flock over you, when im still there,
I hate that you enjoy all of there stares,
I hate that i still love you, and you don't seem to care,
I hate how you act like i was never there,
I hate that were over, it isn't fair,
I Hate that id rather cut myself, then shed a tear,
I Hate how i have to hold back tears,
and dream of better years,
Do you know the pain you cause?
Your hate and anger cuts me like a knife.
At night I cry and wish you could see just what you've done to my life.
The hurt you bring me gets greater everyday.
I wish for the day underground I lay.
You see with your eyes and not your heart.
You act so blind, it's almost like being stung by a dart.
I want you you leave and not be in my thoughts.
I wish you could see past my foughts.
You lost all respect when you lost me.
You have given up and turned on me.
Who do you care about, not I...
all I wish is one of us would die.
Ignorance kills nad for that you have killed many.
Inside I am dead for you have hurt me plenty.
You Called Me Naive. . .
But now, in retrospect, as you glare at the
haggard old man that you've crafted with your
own deeds, do you have misgivings?
Do you ever regret the cruel lessons you taught me,
or wish to experience again the tenderness that used
to flow so freely from my heart, through my kisses and my gentle hands?
The caress of my tongue on your flesh;
the orgasmic words that once stained countless pages
of blather that I blindly believed in.
Yes -- I was naive.
But you have taught me well.
No longer willing to give or to receive,
my cynicism breeds within me.
But I have cleansed my body - I have scoured my soul.
And I now bite my tongue when your
memory attempts to grow fond or find worth.
Couldn't feel the pain till now,
My world suddenly stopped somehow,
Never thought you were one who could say,
A bitter goodbye then walk away.
Never felt like this before,
My heart so weak and eyes so sore,
Always thought you were one who could say,
A sweet goodbye, I'm a friend always.
Didn't feel the hurt till now,
Tried to talk to you somehow,
Couldn't find the words to say,
You said hello, then looked away.
when you can't find the words and every thoughts escaped your head;
when everyone seems so far away and none of them could understand:
then who will catch you when you fall? who will be there when you call?
when every road has you wandering farther from home and no one stops to lend a hand;
when every call you've placed has gone unanswered and heaven seems to have disappeared along the way:
then where will you run to catch your breath? where could you go to feel alive?
when people stop loving and everything's a blur;
when night after night everything stays the same and your dreams don't go any further than the tip of your tongue:
then how do you go on living? how does life still seem worthwhile?
when death would be a great escape and heartache and heartbreak keep clouding your vision;
then what makes you keep trusting? what keeps you going long after the fact?
when the person you want the most is chasing someone else and your heart gets heavier with every tortured breath:
when you can't get numb enough and everyone tries to understand;
then why do you stay? and how do you go?
then where do you turn? and who do you want around?
then what do you live for? and what would you die for?
when your eyes are dry and the tears won't come and everything you've ever known is lost with time:
when fear overcomes you and yet the tempt of adventure is too great;
when resolution isn't an option and letting go just seems like too much: tell me: who do you trust and who do you love? where can you go and where do you return? what heals your heartache and what causes another? and how do you keep moving through the aftermath?
Another Day without You,
By Michael Kline
As the minutes on the clock go slowly by
Tears fill my eyes and I begin to cry
Tomorrow another day will come and I will be alone
Only to hear your voice again on the phone
Knowing that I will not be able to hold you tight
This is the very reason I cannot sleep tonight
Day after day, I continue to reach deep within
Waiting for the moment you are in my arms again
I do understand the reason you are there
Just like everything else in life, sometimes love isnít fair
How very cold and lonely dark can be
Tonight I need your body next to me
The gentleness of your touch, the compassion in your heart
All the memories come flooding, now that we are apart
Slowly the sun begins to shine, just another day
Once again the passion and love we share held at bay
Marking numbers off the calendar, will this never end
Loneliness has become such a deep-rooted friend
Time and distance continue to be a great foe
But it cannot ever destroy us, because I love you so
A Ruby, Mouthing Bright
She sat, her face and all
of her shoulders and nearly bare chest
reflected across the dark green
glass finished bar. Her hand set
on the bar palm up,
a burning cigarette in the relaxed curl
of the fingers. On stage
the band had isolated a zither:
like a release of white pigeon
to a high smoky mosque ceiling...
the notes, putting flutter on flutter...
Her eyes closed, pupils darting under smooth lids.
A space of seconds, then
realizing, dropped the cigarette.
Her fingers burned by a dangerously shortened butt.
"Damn" she said quietly, pressing the burn
to bow lips... A ruby, mouthing
bright upon the tavern darkness.
My blue shines through
now that your black
is no longer my burden.
Not a burden.
You were never anything but beautiful
in my eyes.
But perception is diluted
with my salty ocean
which crashes in waves
against your good intentions
that just don't fill me
the way your heart once did.
PIE ARE SQUARE
Tiny qualities invite me here
Recommend I stay awhile
Dip my cup and sip some saxophone highs
Lay back and nestle into the duck green 3D geometry of right here
Just for now it does me good
I turn my time in and pay cash up front
Leave my brother hanginí at the door
Heíd only smash open the dice checking for a heavy load
Captain says, ďWish no troubles on the water as it tends to cause ripplesĒ
This prince never had it so rich
You could tell them I told you so
by Jessie Grady
I've always wondered why it is a teen feels the need to rebel against all those around them and all the things they believe in... Is is out of the satisfaction to say that they've done it or just to be spontaneous and constantly out of control of those around them? With these wonders my own actions come to mind. I can't say why it is that I have done the things i have done before now. I've always have my close friend right by my side and always had a mother who was there to talk to incase of emergencies, but now after my time of rebellion those things seem so far out of reach for me. I believe my actions were so rash, unreasonable, and without any sense of responsibility. as of now i question everything i've done and can't find and answers to predict my own needs let alone all those are around me who no longer can contain how they feel about my mind, my actions, and me. now trying to grip whatever remains of those that were close i feel those have drifted to far away to even have enough within my mind and heart to ask why it is things are the way they are...
FALL AGAIN SLOWLY
FACE AGAINST THE MOON
PRAYERS PRESSED HARD
AND FLAT ON MY HEART
BETTER I STAY
THAN TO STARE AT THE SEA
...GOD, WHEN WILL I SEE LAND?
To Kill Cruelty
Never again will I see with these eyes
It's just a changing of my mind
Like the ocean currents washing up time
It's just a turning of the tide
A change of heart has made me realize
Longing for one more whispered sigh
Longing for her to sooth this hate of mine
A desire for a change of side
And when I feel her warmth near me
I feel that she is true
And she knows how to kill cruelty
I know that we both do
I read the bible for it is God's word, He keeps His promise this too I've heard. That if I submit with all my heart, He's ever faithful to do His part. Then at times I take my will, He always there and loves me still. So I do my best in my
Christian walk, To listen while in prayer we talk. He tells me things I didn't know, Then watches as I begin to grow. Before time was I knew you then, Just as now as you walk with men. I know your heart and
whets inside, To do what's right not filled with pride. I build and mold for I have a plan, I tell you now you become that man. I hear your
prayer, I do condone, For it is not good man live alone. So seek me first and never doubt, And watch the smoke I bring about. For no one does the things I do, As for that blessing.....get ready you.
by Ralph Turturro
Inside of me; teetering always teetering;
one moment to the next; on the edge of crime;
a sociopath with desires of anti-social behavior;
criminal behavior; wanting to destroy conscience;
to announce the death of memory; the life of the instant
for the sake of truth; absolute, non-linear, abstract, non-material
Stab at the face of Maya; tear it all apart; shed the shackles
of petty time; savor the visceral touch; the rusted patina
of the outer world then slip inside the envelope;
hide there; peer out; see yourself teetering always teetering;
and from that space; that gaping invisible darkness; you are there
in the real world; a thought form; marks are made with no history;
no words; no brain; you lounge; you pace; you smoke; you act
but never teeter; never ever teeter
A heart has only one beat,
which says life is a treat.
A heart has only one hope,
for love to float.
A heart has only one dream,
with none to be seen.
A heart has only one desire,
to be loved by all it's inspires.
A heart has only one life,
So take and learn all that is a must,
for a heart has only one trust.
When i think of you i see the picture.
The one with you and me riding on the
Do you remember that? It was before the
drugs, and the crimes. We were so innocent!
I am not sure how it happened, but you slowly
painted a new picture. Now you're locked away,
with bandaged wrists and hate in your eyes.
All alone. I would have been there, had you
just called my name. Instead you looked to drugs
to soothe your soul. All you needed was a true friend
to hold your hand. But you were too strong for that...
or was that your weakness? You choose the wrong path.
You painted the picture. You are flying too high now.
Above the trees, the family, and the truth. But I will
be there when you need to
Room with a View
The cool October sun crystallized
another generation of autumn
days in this pit, a room with a view to
lives of the living.
The dark shadows cast by the sunís
interrupted journey of hopeful helplessness
as it strives its heated struggle against
a solid cedar wall,
That chest of lost and living, pulsing paper
dreams and mundane heroism born of
passionís love, hate and the struggle to know
one single human of opposing genitalia.
And there, in the dark on the wood floor at
the dark side of cedar, that spiraled mound
of writhing clothes harkens The twining
of two embodied souls entering each
the other and mixing their essence as
the twain become the flesh of eternity.
Such monuments to love are not built or
sculpted or painted, they drop to the floor
when they have worn too long and the time comes
for washing the spirit of love away.
But love is an energy and infinite,
it never dies and moves through the ether
of Elysian dreams until it settles
on another loved opponentís soul.
Like the curve of the female form beneath
a sheet landscaped by the sunís attention
to one side of the hill and valley-like
Leading to some reverently planned and structured
temple where love and affection and
sensuality are studied and learned,
practiced and worshipped then made real by the
brute force of life.
It is the same force which makes the two
in-love know in the finish what love is;
the glad willingess to hurl oneself into
the path of whatever threat may diminish
the happiness or well-being of that
one, cherished soul.
Swaying in the cool breeze
The field is empty
Only the presence of a rose standing still
Softly, quietly for no one to see
The stem becomes bent
The bloom too heavy to stand tall
It gives way
Petals fall one by one
Only to be nestled by the warm grass that lies beneath it
All feelings are gone
The rain falls
But not on an empty field
And not on a rose
But on a stem
Swaying softly, quietly
Alone for no one to see
love and war
bound and torn
we are born
each word you say
each passing day
your endless love
now slips away
and second tries
cannot redeem you
from the lies
a broken spirit
i hold my breath
as i pray now
for peace or death
WHENEVER I AM ALONE,
I FEEL WHAT WILL BE OF ME WHEN THEY ARE GONE,
THE ABSENCE OF ONE FROM MY LIFE,
IS LIKE LIVING WITHOUT LIGHT,
I CARE FOR BOTH MORE THAN ANYTHING,
BUT HOW TO TELL THEM THIS FEELING,
I CAN'T ACTUALLY EXPRESS,
WHAT I FEEL WHEN THEY ARE DEPRESSED,
WHAT THEY MEAN TO ME IN LIFE,
WHAT JOY THEY BRING TO ME WHEN THEY SMILE,
I PRAY FOR THEM EVERY DAY AND NIGHT,
BECAUSE THEY ARE MY GUARDIAN LIGHT,
I PRAY THEY STAY BY ME AS WINTERS PASS AND SUMMERS APPEAR,
AND WE STAY EVER NEAR AND DEAR.
How can you love someone so much? How can they always be on the tip of your tongue, front of your mind? How can you keep something so strong and so big a secret? How can the person you love stand being around you. Why canít you find the words to say it. The girl I love is an angel and I can bare to see her. She is the hardest person to love. It hurts to love her. She is my everything. She is my life. Some call it obsession, I call
it uncontrollable pain. I see guy after guy brake her heart, each one better than me and she comes crying to me. I canít take it anymore. I canít bare the pain, I am thinking about never talking to her again. Maybe just leaving and going somewhere else were my love canít reach her. Maybe it will settle one another, one that loves me in return but on till that day my love will burn.
On The Left
basking in drunken glory...
Observing depravity in-flight,
Hazed by sullen dankness that
flows within the next shot glass...
A faithful scene scattered about in the crusty city...
Where accepted mourners stare...
Life has been so dull for me for a seeming long long while,
But now my goals are in my reach
I can see them from a mile.
I feel a very strange relief,
Which I haven't felt for a time,
I have no idea what's in store for me,
But life's becoming sublime.
A door has closed here in my life,
But another soon will open,
Who do we think were jokin'
We try to be what we are not,
Coming closer t that spot
In life which we are longing for
Where troubles and bad times come no more.
My bearings are straight,
I'm directly in line,
I am heading for that goal of mine.
No matter what you say,
No matter what you do,
No force can stop me
Not until I'm through.
I forgive you
for being less than you are
to make me less than I am
so you can handle me with ease and
avoid the pain of growth.
I forgive your cowardice
and celebrate the courage,
the strength you don't know you have.
I forgive you trying to lower me
to your fear,
and the loneliness you fell
because when you can't deal,
you just run or push away.
We met by divine appointment
and the time is up.
Lessons to learn, a soul to grow
thanks for letting me go.
ßß Life ßß
ßß By Brandon Burke ßß
What is life?
Is it you,
Is it me,
Is it the led this pencil leaves behind,
Is it the light,
Is it the dark,
Is it the day,
Is it the night,
Is it what's wrong,
Or is it what's right,
Or could it simply be,
The love shared between you and me?
Love is such a fragile substance,
People take for granted,
No one knows the true meaning of love,
As each day goes by,
People don't say "I Love You" everyday to the ones they love.
For love to count,
Each little thing accomplished for the one you love matters.
Finding your love is not easy.
People in this worldt think,
Loves just comes and goes.
Love sticks with a person forever.
Showing compassion to the one you love,
Is the greatest feeling on earth.
A heart of a person can be broken,
But a circle of love can go on forever.
What is love
pure like a white dove
without a spot on it
never again to be lonely
a breath of fresh air
a symbolizing of being fair
not holding back or wearing a mask
love has many task
although it is very complex
it is never based on sex
passion is part
compassion is a major part
your main thrust
is what we call trust
it's a form that's unique
a circle that will soon be complete
to stay together never move apart
only if you stop an ask
you will see love has many task
Me and a couple of friends were walking into a store. We are only 13, we are both wearing under shirts and baggy jeans with our boxers showing. It kind of hurts when I realize that I'm menacing to adults. It hurts to know that you are a security threat. Other people stare at us, we are followed by security guards, it hurts. I am not going to steal. I am not a delinquent. I am 13 years old.
It hurts to know that the rest of my generation has given me a bad name. What hurts most is, we deserve it. We have to pay for what or friends have done. I know kids who steal. I can't stop them. It hurts to watch others. I can feel so much pain. Why? It shouldn't matter what others think. Why? It still hurts?
- Joshua Faulkner
To feel the warmth of the sun
Against your skin
The cool, crisp wind
Against your face
And the rough firmness of the rock
...thoughts from the lookout
What Angel Is
darkness seeps in again
where do i begin?
maybe the beginning, maybe the end
who knows, ill just start it from here
a beautiful girl suddenly turned hideous
a smart girl pushed to dumb
a bright and shining star turned to dull, dark dust
the drop of a pin is heard in her mind
just as death over comes her breathing body
the walking dead
ghosts from another time that doesn't matter
her skin, stare, white, freezing
changed from vibrant, fleshly, warm
eyes silently reversed from intoxicating bright blue
to frightening, cold, dark gray
the cheerful pop cd's are replaced by dark gothic beats
suicidal lyrics marking her memory
tempting the slip of her razor
oops...she did it again
this time she's not going to run
she'll sit and stare into outer space
she's trying to make the best of her mistakes
but no matter how hard she tries
she's still just an out cast, full of lies
she needs a drug to take her pain
she needs a drug to make her sweet
she needs a drug to make her herself again
but exactly who is she?
she's forgotten herself
the image of herself scares her
what was she then?
when she was what she was so long ago
could she be that again?
she's forgotten what its like to be her
who is she? what is she? can she be again?
Jenilee Rose Alejandro
my heart aches
my soul bleeds
my head shakes..
to the lines u feed
u pound me with fists of shame
into the hole of rejection
loneliness has become my name
-virgin to your affection
my heart aches
my soul bleeds
my head shakes..
to the lines u feed
u abandoned me long ago
my abashment still remains
left me a curse.. that lies unknown
your abatement untouched-sustained
you are the rain on my parade
u are the shame that makes me fade
i've never tasted love...
... and love.. is all i crave
and the cycle continues...
cursed, never to brake
You donít even know my name,
Sitting there in the rain,
I wonder if you know I exist
When I can actually feel you kiss.
Now and then I cry for you,
I wonder if you cry to.
I wish I didnít feel this way,
but everything brings me back to you.
I wish you can stay in my arms forever,
and be my guy whenever.
I dream about you every night,
and wish that you are mr right
For you to listen and understand,
for you to have a helping hand.
Iíll hold you tight through thick and thin,
and love you till the end.
Your love is like a daisy,
I think Iím going crazy,
to think of you this way,
I wish someday you could say,
baby I love you
Waiting for love
To tell the truth, and I mean to say, when I met you, that very day,
I looked in your eyes and felt something I never felt before.
I made a move, somewhat dashing, and from there it all came crashing
Down upon me, bashing, trashing everything to no more.
But over time I grew stronger and even then the time grew longer
As I spent it all thinking of you, your smile, even more.
But it was hard, since you were taken, this nightmare unawakened
Left my body aching, aching down to the core.
So by myself I tore away in hopes that maybe someday
You would come back to me more caring than before.
Years went by, love is blinding, I lost track of all my timing.
So I took to reclining, whining, shedding tears of yore.
Just last year, near December, you came back as I remember
To tell a story of your man, you loved him no more.
There I said, "I'm sorry to hear, but the truth is, my dear,
That my love would appear, I fear, for you grows bore.
That day I saw your smile and I was thinking all the while
How I ever managed to pile all my feelings out the door.
That week I turned to thinking, all my time linking
Every single feeling, unceasing. Piecing every feeling for;
Piecing it all just for you once more.
Again I saw you the very next week and for you my heart reached its peak
As I told you everything I never dared to tell you before.
But again I'm here waiting, my feelings back, unfading,
As I sit debating, debating how much more
Waiting till our love might ever soar.
Matthew R. Kellar
Dancing in a field of bliss,
I inhale a breath
Of something missed.
Twisting and yearning,
I see from within-
I am riding the back
Of an unsaddled sin.
I keep on walking trying to rattle my mind.
To think of a place that will brighten my life.
I can only think of one single refuge, I know for
a fact that refuge is you.
You were sent from heaven above.
You were sent to show me some love.
You showed me love.
You showed me pain but in the end It was all the same.
So I'm saying goodbye one last time.
Saying goodbye to all the lies.
WHEN YOU ARE GONE
when you're gone what will i do
its going to hurt me so much when i cant see you
your the all in my life
i just want you to know
well because with me its so hard to show
you complete me all the way
when you leave ill go too
its going to hurt me so much when i cant see you
when your gone
EVERYONE ENDURES SOME PAIN
I HEAR EACH LIFE MUST HAVE SOME RAIN
BUT NO ONE HERE WANTS TO ADMIT
THAT I GET THE WORST OF IT
CANT THEY LOOK AT ME AND SEE
THE STRAIN OF BEING SOMEBODY
IN ONE SHORT DAY MY LOVE DERAILED
ON TOP OF THAT I GOT IMPALED
THE STRESS THAT COMES WITH BEING ME
IS REALLY REALLY B-I-G
AND NO ONE EVEN SEEMS TO CARE
THAT MY PAIN IS MUCH WORSE THAN THEIRS
Nicole Van Loh
Love is a feeling. A feeling that will never go away. A feeling that stays in you heart forever and ever. Love is like an ocean filled with passion, the calm of a rainbow. Love is freedom to pursue your own desire while sharing your experience with the other person. Love is the source of success. Love is the fury of the storm. Love is knowing that the other person cares for you. Love is knowing that the other person will stay with you for better or worse. Love is a feeling not a dream. To hope one day that you and I will become reality. Hoping that you and I will become angles in heaven. Love is as bright as the sun on a sunny day. Love is nothing without you by my side. Love is a vow for all time. Love is not something that you can change in an instant. Your love eases the pain in my heart that I feel for you. Love does does not come and go like the days that I feel for you. Love is not a game that you play with. Love is a feeling in your soul that dies with you. Love is not a joke. Love should not give us pain but it often does. Why do we experience love?
When i first met you
i knew right away
that i wanted to be with you
some how, some way
your the kind of guy
that always makes me smile
to be with you
i'd walk a hundred miles
you have so many qualities
i couldn't count them all
but the best thing is
you'll be there if i fall
why do i like you?
you're so different from me
but every time i see you
i go weak in the knees
every time you flash a smile
upon your perfect face
it puts a memory in my mind
i could never erase
the music you listen to
the way you do your hair
makes me like you more
far beyond compare
so that is why i like you
this boy that i just met
you are the best guy
a girl could ever get
so take me as i am
and i will not try to cry
if you write back a simple, simon "goodbye"
The world is in jeopardy
As the gods collide
The god of disgust to the left
The god of Beauty to the right
The god of Disgust befriends Mercury
Mercury slowly takes away Disgusts chances of victory
So what might Mercury be?
A rat? A traitor?
If Disgust hadnít befriended Mercury
Would he have suffered this loss?
I want to be with you, but when you are away i start to stray. Stray towards every smile, look, or wave. why must i stray when you are the one i want? i love you looks, your personality, and your smile. You hand me attention on a card, and you lay the red carpet out for me to walk, but for some reason i continue to stray. The way you look into my eyes and the way you speak to me is hypnotizing, but the moment you are away i tend to forget. Forget your feelings, forget what you said, forget that i'm with you. you tell me all when i tell you none, you love me full heartedly when i'm not sure. and for some reason you continue to stay.
flying higher than the sunlight takes you in the morning when it rains
trailing over hills and quarries traveling like pirates on the plains
reaching nowhere smelling flowers knowing i'll have to come back again
dodging problems getting wiser finding out that it will never end
brightly showing me your fingers counting one by one until they're gone
loving life and all it gives me taking time to race against the dawn
shoveling the snow and refuse clouding up my spirit's central eye
making clear my anthems as i sing them up against the distant sky
giving you my freedom when you're drowning in your sickness and your health
offering my hand when you are down upon your knees inside yourself
being there to see you off whenever you may go and leave me here
writing letters back and forth until i feel your presence somewhere near
hoping you will let the sunlight take you higher than a cloud of rain
hoping you will love me when it comes to loving and its quiet plains
your so beautiful and graceful, you float when u walk. your eyes so blue, your hair so golden.
i wish i could be with u, but its just so hard to do. u said were just friends but is it true you liked me for a few.
i opened my heart for u, but i never thought i'd do, is it because i'm a fool? why do i fall so hard?, why do
i go so far?, i reach so far but never could hold u. every minute i spend with u
on the phone i treasure, one day you'll turn and walk, but help me lord I'll fall apart.
My mind is in a whirl I know not what to do.
Please lord help me with impossible decisions.
Help me be free.
Be free from my aching heart and soul.
My mind wanting you my heart wanting him.
Confusion racing through my mind.
No answers found, is no one seeing my pain?
Or do they just not care.
I can't free myself from this whirlwind
of thoughts and emotions.
Someone, anyone, help my aching heart
do what's right.
Woof in the alleyway,
But no vision in the cramped narrowness,
No vision of the narrowness.
The infinite night
Will take a howl
And bury it in the dark,
Like a bone,
And the stars,
So mute in the distance,
Are faint compassion.
Since the day you left me
I've never been the same,
The tears just wont stop falling,
But I'm the one to blame.
The words you said so sweetly,
Still ponder in my mind
The question of if I'll get over you,
Haunts me all the time.
But now that I'm living without you,
Well life can't get much worse.
Even though you left a while ago,
My heart still really hurts.
I'm slowly getting better,
Though you've found somebody new,
And now I know it's over,
But I just can't let go of you.
You've gone on with your life,
I guess now I should see,
That is was good while it lasted,
But we just weren't meant to be.
You appeared yesterday
Late as usual
Making a perfect spectacle of yourself
Your face absolutely glowing with a ripeness
That only the very young reveal
You rose, and positively danced
Across my bedroom floor
Stepping on both my toes simultaneously
I flung open my robe
And allowed you passage
Up my thin legs, and across my belly
You covered my face with kisses
So warm and passionate
And then, like so many past lovers
You moved on to the next available bed
The little girl lost on an island.
Not being able to find her way out.
No one is there to save her.
She misses her world...her life.
She feels as if everyone, she held close to her, turned against her.
The fear chases her through the prickly trees.
She runs and runs.
Her legs are beginning to wear down.
Trying to escape from this nightmare.
She awakes feeling STRANDED...
Two worlds rule my life.
One pretending to be real.
My eyes covered
Accepting the imposter.
My eyes open.
What do I see?
A dark mysterious place
A world I do not know.
The real world.
Too long in illusion.
Too long unaware.
Me in my fake little world.
MY SILENT SCREAM
The Crawling beneath,
The very depths of my soul,
He enters my heart.
Heís black as coal.
I hear his voice,
In the back of my mind,
Whispering and telling,
Of treasures unkind.
Sinful and hateful,
Is he and his being.
He wants me to be,
Of trusting and believing.
As he creeps,
Nearer to me,
There is no one around,
No one to see.
It is too late,
Nothing to be seen.
The only thing heard now,
Is my silent scream.
THE BLACKBIRD IS DRINKING THE RED PAINT
THE BLACKBIRD IS DRINKING THE BLACK PAINT
THE BLACKBIRD IS DRINKING THE WHITE PAINT
THE BLACKBIRD IS FLYING INTO THE BLUE SKY
THE BLACKBIRD IS FALLING INTO THE GREEN GRASS...
THE BLACKBIRD IS RUNNING IN CIRCLES...
THE BLACKBIRD IS CRYING...
THE BLACKBIRD IS DYING...
POOR LITTLE BLACKBIRD...
THE BLACKBIRD IS DEAD...
REST IN PEACE BLACKBIRD...REST IN PEACE...
The Black Beasts
By Brandon Burke
On this day it rains,
I try to cross this asphalt desert,
Approached by the black beasts that move in fours,
The beasts consume my brother,
The sun cooks my father like a piece of bacon,
The immature giants crush my mother between two sticks,
My sister is being trampled by the white beasts that are as long as I
Now knowing I have nothing left,
I stand on this asphalt desert and wait for the black beasts to consume me.
Poem for Alec
ashley klensch "kitten"
Never meant to hurt you even though I did, wish I could take away all of your pain. You never got mad for what I did but instead held me and smiled when I told you I loved you. The look on your face of a child, who couldn't love you? The look in your eyes and the smile that crosses your face has meant everything to me. No one could ever make me laugh the way you did, and never will. Someday you'll see that I never stopped loving you for just being you. The days and nights we've spent together have meant everything. I'll always remember your smiles and your laugh as we floated along the road listening to MSI. You sitting behind the wheel seat back, arms across your chest and driving with your knees. I'll never forget you and someday in heaven I'll take your pain away, then maybe you'll see I never meant to hurt you in anyway. The weekend we spent huddled together in a tiny sleeping bag without a tent in our own little cave. Ski resort filled with love and music creating a dream I couldn't have wanted to spend with anyone else. You made me smile and laugh and for that I'll always love you but, if I hurt you please know I'm sorry.
Since it's Y2K
© by Mohammad Badri
My boss is so demanding
like an officer commending
being picky suddenly
since it's Y2K
My wife is in nagging mood
plays her games fairly cool
expects a new car soon
since it's Y2K
My kids turning cranky
insisting on new games
no homework is in their list
since it's Y2K
My dog acts barbarous
he is being lately rude
craves for some fancy food
since it's Y2K
My cat seems grouchy
a Persian cat is on his way
chews shoes like munches
since it's Y2K
My bird sings no love songs
makes a mess all around
a new cage is in his mind
since it's Y2K
My car stalls rapidly
needs a battery right away
I changed the brakes just today
since it's Y2K
My rent is climbing
the bills are piling up
my patience is running out
since it's Y2k
My " P.C" is crashing
error messages are flashing
begging for new software
since it's Y2K
My creditors are after me
like predators in the sea
call and write me day by day
since it's Y2K
My life lies in a shamble
cash is the life saver
God knows what's coming next
since it's Y2K
Carols of Christmas
In the frigid winter air
Silently to the ground
Adding a new layer
To my day old snowman
Red, white, green, blue lights
Wrap around snow covered trees
From my window
I can see the colored snow.
Stars shine brightly
In the nighttime sky
I imagine one bigger than
All the rest
Illuminating the whole earth
It is glorious.
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