Searching For More
By Nicole Stevenson
I adore reading literature
A bookworm is what they call me
A lifetime reading I'd easily endure
Page after page of sweet imagery
Choosing a book can take quite a while
A thriller to chill can frightfully scare
One that is sad or bring a big smile
Any will do, I don't really care!
There are so many titles, I really can't choose
A love story, a true tale, a mystery perhaps?
Sweetness or sorrow, or searching for clues
In books I am endlessly trapped
All this I say about words I adore
I will always read and then search for more
as long as the sun still turns to gray in the northern skies; I will be there
as long as you still want to hear my voice; I will be there
where do you ask? Where is this place I know not of?
only in my dreams; Only far away; Only in the one way
far off in a distant land, covered only in the deepest, darkest mist
light of my love is the only light; In a field of flowers, wind twisted peddles
drift slowly into the sky flying, drifting to a place where we will meet
but where you ask? You know where
as long as my heart yearns for tomorrow; I will be here
as long as you whisper my name so softly into the nights divine motions
i will be forever entangled in your beauty's force
pain of the world, is nothing but sadness
but when you ask? Why not now? The world is ripe, the time has but come
meet me in that beautiful field; Let the wind whip your hair
power lies only in the hearts of those who dare to yield
come once, come twice, only forever is the key
wind of the future; Spiral of heaven's force; Peddles of a rose ripped
off one by one; My future is nil, but we will always have that one day
when the wind flew through your hair and a smile was on your face
of that day I want again, and to feel your life I would do anything, for just that one
As I sit here with nothing to do
I write this poem just 4 u
I think of every thing we've done
And every single game we've one
I think of all our wrongs and rights
And all our fun times and despites
We have done so very much
Except for watching the brady bunch
And when u had to leave
slowly I began to grieve
Though you were not with me physically
You were with me emotionally
And there u will always be
Though you i cannot see.
(I wrote this poem when my friend Dawn had to go away for quite a long time and we didn't ever know if she was coming back. So i dedicate this to her.)
Mourning of Passing
The days have ended,
And my joy is done.
The light is gone,
And my night has come.
And along with it,
The Shadows of my despair
And the ghosts of my past,
Sweep through the air.
Why is my night like this?
What have I done?
When will the regrets leave,
And the joy come?
The Show Must Go On!
By Suzanne Russell
Like a black cat's eye, shining bright;
The cobwebbed spotlight to the right.
A chilling breeze whistles by;
The abandoned script flutters high.
The skins of players like empty shells
Hang on hooks, drape on shelves.
Empty faces on the wall;
fixed to laugh, fixed to bawl.
Skeletal hands grip the air;
Their refreshments are long since there.
"The show must go on!" had cried the director.
The show must go on, he'd known no better.
Bring your life.
Bring me some more coffee, another six shot venti for the fat man with the laptop.
Bring me some more eye contact with the minimum wage senorita with that ass, peach round and firm
Bring me some more confirmation of life on the edge in a starbucks, battery slowly draining away
Bring me some conversation, stock market plunging, snow coming tomorrow, kids in strollers struggling
Bring me some more harmony, Louis Armstrong plugging coffee by the pound on the PA system
Bring me some sort of sign people, like sweet perfume for a moment from a grandmother in green
Bring me some more of that, god please that was worth two lines, another whiff of that perfume
Bring me some of that "RED" she says it’s called, 3 lines now with grandmother, Spanish eyes and smile
Bring me something from your tired eyes, my peach, struggling to whip the cream and serve the coffee
Bring me something to read from Barns and Noble, and make sure Opera liked it, or at least someone else
Bring me something tanned and firm from the brochures
Bring me something that sounds like a rocket exploding into flight from a expresso machine
Bring me something with blonde hair and a stained apron that works 8 hours
Bring me something that looks like snow, please, we must have snow for our sanity here this winter
Bring me something like poetry, rhyme or reason within the repetitive words typed today.
Imagination is real,
Reality is not,
In my mind this is worthwhile,
I'm not living in denial,
Minds make tricks,
To show an elaborate design,
If only the world was more kind,
Need not make up my mind.
In a world of blue
Forgotten by men and gods
Wanders a battered raft
Soulless and Forsaken
Before this raft
Appear black clouds
Where once were none
Foreboding misery and trial
Thunder shatters the air
Lightning scorches the sky
And the raft still drifts
Into the haunted stage
Gales howl over the scene
Screaming foul torments
While heartless waves
Cruelly pound the raft
The sun and moon lie unseen
The stars are cold
And the skies an empty void
All turning from this sin
The raft rides this nightmare
To the ends of eternity
Waiting for skies of blue
Which may never come
Tears That Burn My Soul
Tears that burn my soul,
Tears that run down my two cheeks,
Tears that burn my soul
Promises I meant to keep.
Wishfully I think of yesterday
Hoping that it will return,
So I can keep those promises
Wanting it not to be my turn.
For death must wait,
Yes death must wait
So I can turn the clocks around
So I can keep those promises
So I can wipe those soul burning tears away.
But yesterday remains in the past
So my promises got lost in the wind
And death will await me not
So I shall die with a tear stained soul.
I Know Me
I know what I can do and to what lengths
I know my weak points as well as my strengths
Because I know this and it is never too late
I will apply the right action to determine my fate
Failure is definitely nothing I fear
'Cause I know that path keeps success far from here
The opposition all around me will not get in my way
My concern will be on the steps that I'll be taking that day
I know I'll have a clear focus along on this ride
It will be on those I live, serve and work beside
I know that the situations, people and things that I need
Will come to me as I focus at an alarming rate of speed
My mission gives me vision and puts lots of wind in my sail
It gives me daily passion to take the steps to ensure I prevail
I must remember to keep balance if success is to be
But I do not see a problem because--I know me
Tim A Clark
A Bit Of Me...
A heart lost in the darkness, never gilded by the light.
A sob choked into laughter undercover of the night.
I ask not that you love me or need me by your side.
I know that love is shadowed ever-changing like the tide.
So I leave a gift of laughter of happiness of peace.
And ask for understanding the next time I'm in need.
I see so many things
The love I share
The hurt I see
The pain I portray
And the hardships we perceive
I see so many things
Is it right
Is it wrong
The difficulties in comprehending
And the disappointments in time
I see so many things
Should I be scared
Or should I be well prepared
The memories within
Are nothing but friends
I see so many things
What should I do
Be hurtful or true
The sadness is breaking through
In the things I see of u.
The Path of Truth
The path of truth
Sounds wonderful, majestic, noble
Sometimes it sucks
To one who thinks he has it all
It means he has nothing
To one desirous of beauty
It shows the soul’s deformity
To one who knows all
It means recognizing abject ignorance
To the self assured
It exposes the fear and cowardice
To the rich it means
To the poor it means
More of the same
It is not "How To Win Friends…"
Nor "The Power of Positive Thinking"
It is not "The Greatest Salesman in the World"
Nor "A Course in Miracles"
It is not "I’m OK You’re OK"
Nor "The Greatest Story Ever Told"
T is not the Bible, the Koran, the Lotus Sutra
Or the Tao Te Ching
It does not lie in success or failure
Or in simple existence
The path of truth is love
Love so strong so pure
Others hate you for it
Love so consuming so deep
It leaves no room for comfort or rest
Yes, the path of truth
Sometimes it sucks
But sometimes - just sometimes
It is everything
You know you've changed me,
but was it so kind?
Live was somewhat easier,
when I didn't have to
use my mind.
"Outside on the Porch"
Lying back against this chair, I realized the air was cooler.
It’s just me, the cool air, and the relaxation of this piece of furniture.
I never knew exactly what I was doing to myself, until I got what I called friends.
The feeling I have now, it burns inside of me, but the broken pieces it mends.
I just can’t believe I was killing myself, slowly but surely and without a single thought.
Messing up my memories and telling people lies is all I can do without being caught.
Just playing along with my imagination is something all its own.
All you people enjoying the party... damn it just leave me alone...
I met a German Jew once in a psychiatric hospital
Somewhere in New York—so far from home she couldn’t hear
The pounding of the shells anymore or the moaning of the earth.
She had lost her soul and her mind during the war, in one of
The camps—it didn’t matter which one—so long as it was.
It is for her that human poetry ceases to be a definition—
For her that we mustn’t modern rhyme this verse—
Because that would be like sprinkling rose pedals over
The mountains of bodies near the tracks and saying,
"Look, dear visitor, it is pleasing to the eye, no?"
Because sometimes you cannot dare offer the tale
Of one poor soul in a group of lines that can be studied
By some wretched souls in a damp wooden cell claiming
To be gods, that for them mankind is not something to be surpassed.
Sometimes there is too much to tell,
And let none of us be the fools and try to wrap her
Up in a sonnet, a Shakespearean, perhaps a Poundian Canto, so
That we might be the artist to know what man is—for we shall never know
The world as she does—where train whistles by night
Whisper of frozen tears and lost souls in the gray mist and ask why we
Bother to ponder philosophy or god—for she is the artist who paints the
Portrait of humanity.
I like to smile, i don't do it often, but it's nice when I do
I'm smiling now, and wondering, what could he be thinking.
And then I realize, and it's gone replaced with embarrassment.
What an infatuation, it crawls across my heart and waves along my soul.
And before I realize, it's back again.
Unknowingly my mind strays. Thoughts of him, always...
I hope he's smiling too.
They tore down the wall to make room for peace
in an effort to heat up
relations in what once was
a cold war
Each layer of brick that tumbled
to the ground
fell on deaf ears.
Nations still have that gap between them
That speaks to Political indifferences
and whether right or wrong
weak or strong
Friendships have never been built
on lies, mortar or mistrust.
Is Love Worth
By Lucy Rose Hepworth
Is love worth,
all the tears i've shed,
all i've let go of for you,
is it worth it?
All the pain i've felt'
the hurting that i constantly feel
would i be better off,
Should i have ever felt,
with such passion,
the love and desire i have,
that is all for you.
Confusing the deep
The thoughts I keep
If I could stand
And hold your hand
To dance the dance
To spin and sway
To hold you now
Then dream away
A common name for the person i seek to find.
An uncommon person.
Who am I looking for? How can I describe him?
He was pale blue eyes and sex appeal.
His hair was a shock of black, against a warm, smiling face.
He was my everything.
He disappeared, you see...
Disappeared from me.
Once the cord is cut, it all falls away.
You become no one, not even worthy of a phone call.
How could someone be my whole world,
And yet shut me out?
How did he walk away? And how can I?
Maybe nothing is more cruel than love.
And somehow I still feel hollow.
I feel like the void of where he was is never-ending.
Of course there's fear, doubt, embarrassment
But then the dream becomes perfect
Stargazing, holding hands, watching the fire
The perfect sleeping position: on my right side with a fluffed pillow and warm flannel sheets
Perfect perfection in both worlds
Then one disappears, the culprit is ice water
Infected with confusion, it taints this second world, the onw which is 4,824 days old, yet still so new
Reality becomes dreadfully clearer
I'm stuck in this dysfunctional world as monsters from previous nightmares resurface and begin to circle like hounds hunting for coons, looping around and around until the prey is targeted
Perfect perfection becomes flawed, severely
Counterfeit departure from mortality or the latter of fight of flight
Neither a noble withdrawal
But then there's honesty: expose your belly and hope they don't scratch deeply enough to be fatal
My fantasy world will understand
You were my flower
You would know how to strike my soul to bloom
I could count on drinking the sweet nectar of your essence.
You inspired me to grow to new heights and to break through
The soils of false expectations
You raised my beliefs in humanity, taught me to recognize the beauty.
You were my water that sustained my thirst for life.
You were my rose that never dried, you were the lilac who’s sweet
Fragrance never deafened
You were the only colour amidst a crater of emptiness.
Your voice was so passionate so soft and so majestic.
You were the only one to read the lamentations of my heart.
I have no pictures of you, except this one of a most precious flower
In every way this reminds me of you.
Your pedals of innocence
Your stem that brought stability to my existence.
You were and always will be the only flower in my garden of hope.
Until you bloom again.
I saw an alien once, he was green and on T.V.
He fit every stereotype that preceded him.
I was sad for the alien because it was cold outside.
He looked happy, but I knew under that green skin
he couldn't take it any more.
I'VE LOOKED, FELT AND SAW I'M AFRAID
I'VE LOOKED INTO THE EYES
OF THE USED AND ABUSED
SAW LOVE IN A LITTLE GIRLS EYES
I'VE BEEN IN THE EYE OF THE STORM
AS IT SWIRLED ALL AROUND ME
FELT THE POWER OF GOD
ABOUT TO SET ME FREE
SAW LOVE DISGUISED AS A MAN
NAILED TO A TREE BLEEDING ON ME
STOOD AT THE BOTTOM OF A MOUNTAIN
FELT THE WAVES AT THE EDGE OF THE SEA
BOTH EXPERIENCES SPOKE TO ME
FELT THE LOVE OF GOD
AND HEARD HIS ANGER
THERE'S A DANGER
MAN IS THE ONLY CREATION I KNOW
AFRAID TO OVEREXPOSE
HIDES INSIDE HIS CLOTHES
the things i see, you would not understand
the way i feel, you've never felt
when my mind has gone, you are there
not in real life, not in fair
my body has waved, soul has rippled
my lips brought a tide, that nearly crippled
my speech may die, my flesh has stilled
emotions are filling, they may even spill
i cry inside, my feet burnt
going through hell, beginning to hurt
take me through heaven, if it exists
take me where, you most likely live
being with you, is my biggest high
often feel, i can touch the sky
though there is nothing, between me and you
as soon as souls mate, together we'll be soon
MY DARLING YOU -
written by Fabiana Bottaro on the 24th of Aug. 2001
This song makes me emotionally sick every time I listen to it now
Its your favourite and it use to be mine too
I can’t listen to it any more without feeling nervous or sick in the stomach
Yet I keep playing it just so for that spilt moment I can remember the unforgettable times we shared together,
I get in trouble coz I’m never fully focused
That’s coz I’m focused on where you are and where I’d like to be, right there living with you in sight just like that week that I was lucky enough to share with you.
I really would love it if I were able to come up to your house and stay there for your birthday
I’d love it even more if you want me there
How would I know that though if its not ok for you to tell me how you feel any more simply because we left it as friends.
I can still remember all the photos you’re mum so proudly has up all over her house
I can still remember them clearly and every time I’d look at them I could feel the butterflies beating hard in my stomach
I love your big brown eyes that look down on me
I love that look you give me
And that smile that is like no other
If I knew that we’d end up together in the end then I’d wait for you
Even if it would seem like a lifetime
I’ll always love you no matter what anyone thinks and no matter how far from each other we are.
If you feel the same and I’m hoping that you do then please just come back to me... I need you
Why sit it out when we have the chance of being together
The chance being that we both like each other
Lost and adrift in a sea of despair,
The spin of a life gone astray
I reach for you, and find only air.
I live my life day by day.
The day you left you took my soul
My heart, my breath, my dreams.
You left me here out of control.
Falling apart at the seams.
I know that the love we knew
Though tested by time and pain
Will lift us up and see us through
The thunder and the rain.
I hold a hope deep inside
Close within my heart
That time will bring us full circle
And once again we shall start.
LIVING THE STREETS
BY STEPHEN SEATON
would you help me
if you gazed upon me
haggard and tired
all the energy
to go on expired
needing any kindness
you could send my way
will you help me
just this once
i know that
it is not something
you normally do
but just this once
to make me feel better
for just a moment
My feelings for you
Are clear and true
The feelings I have
Are only for you
I wish that somehow
I wish it was now
I wish it were true
Just me and you
I hope that someday
I hope I can say
All my love for you
Is here to stay
I wish that I may
I want that someday
You'll come my way
And be here to stay
Sometimes I hope
And sometimes I pray
Sometimes I dream
Of you all day
If only you could
If only you would
Be with me
As only it should
I wish that I may
I wish that you might
One day be here
With me tonight
The sun is like an orange ball
strait up in the sky,
It makes some people marvel
even wonder why?
Why is that sun up there
each and every morning?
And what makes it stay up there
even when we're working?
God is the power that makes
the world go 'round.
And we all should be thankful
for the love we've found.
I am hungry but I cant eat
I am sad but I cant weep
I am tired but I cant sleep
I try to write nice but this desk is cheap
I try to pose but im not cool
I try to learn but im a fool
And I blanch under the rules
Because I'm in school!
Our paths go ever and anon
and we travel ever on
where in this world we might be going
Lonely travelers on broken paths
tell a joke and they will laugh
tell a story and they will listen
this my friend is the travelers mission.
A FATHER'S HARVEST
Donald R. Loop
There is a pain that I feel ,
and it's stabbingly real.
Could it be that I, a man of no means,
have circum to the fate of those who scheme?
I have seen beauty and wisdom in all I've adorn,
now the mirror reflects back a brutal image of scorn.
I have black orchids growing in the garden of my soul,
and with self pity to feed them they bring me such woe.
It is reality I fear, and the flowers will grow ,
as my tears provide rain and I reap what I sow.
The disaster is you, child.
Disappointment, selfish motives,
All connected because the lack of compassion covered
Over you soul, child.
And you attitude is foul
Laid upon my shoulders so I have to carry your
Weight and your faults and your mistakes.
The disaster is it, child.
The silly ways your heart skips a beat when sin
Raps upon your door.
But the child I see is losing control.
And my failure is because I have let you.
Selfishly I have nagged to change you, to make you perfect,
Better than me.
The disaster is me, child.
Continuously I fight to keep you close,
Each second making the space between us almost
Impossible to leap over.
A world that dies
A World that cries
A world that lives
A world that gives
A world that wiles
A world that smiles
are but mist in the eyes
of the newborn child.
THE VELVET CALM
Deep in the woods,
Where the wind seldom blows,
And the shadows make their home,
A sound unheard til now,
Breaks the velvet calm.
The sound is the cry of life new-born,
Of hopes to be fulfilled,
A cry of joy and anguish, Strongly intertwined.
It's life and death,
Dream and nightmare,
Conscience..... And temptation.
It's man, awakening at Dawn=s creation,
And his death at the eve of Night,
A blink of brilliant, emotional noise
In a dark and muted world.
Then, silence returns to the shadow's realm,
And the wind drifts back to sleep,
Man is gone and walks no more,
To disturb the velvet calm.
Charlotte at Home
Sarah Elzabeth Mason
we had heard of Death - yes
and could not be a stranger - he
was visitor here before
/but he was not of us/
this time his visit was not so anticipated or dreaded
he did not first send his calling card
as he so often has of late
(and i fancy he has serious intentions of courting even me)
i look on him from the window - accustomed now
i think it should not be hard
to go into the household of my kinsmen
no-do not send him away
we must always be at home to him
he will not be kept waiting
and his slow glances and pale flowers
of regret made of hasty ire expelled
cannot comfort me in Death's silent embrace
"Queen lotus eternal touch, soul rains"
reminded of the shine in time,
gone is the twain autumn pain,
want you to see her
in this world i felt the dead writers touch
as the mountains hold this earth
as my blood turns the color of the sea
Even though heavenly
I must be dust
unto the highest sunset of the 7th
i love her
i wish her
for as i speak into mirrors of night
its within me
but like the angel of death
you feel it too
as the last hours rose we see
the wind howls good bye
Not Your Time
Finally I climbed down off my steed
Removed my black armor, laid down my shield and sword
Opened my heart, true love had found a home
As much love a I could share, she returned and more
I found a match for my soul, life for my love
No more would my heart be desolate and roam
Then like a lightening flash, it was over
She reached deep inside me and ripped her love away
A dark void of emptiness remained, sorrows filled
From so much hurt and pain anger crept in
Oh GOD why did I drop my defenses
In my down trodden soul how can I love her still
Peering directly into Medusa's eyes
At the cost of leading a double life, I pressed on
Truly believing this was real, this time it would last
Now the cold has snuffed the brilliant flame
I am turned to stone
She is transformed, an apparition, dead, floating in my past
Such a fool am I, believing love could be unconditional
Again I am alone, a damn loser
Wretched in my soul
Brought to my knees, her dagger in my heart
I am overcome by bitterness
The death of love has slaughtered me, eaten me whole
I pull my armor from the dust
Cleaned it an oiled it to a black sheen
I sharpen my sword, tighten my shield
Lord help me keep my guard up and recognize these demons
These female beast whose lust masquerade as love
These creatures whose thirst for self gratification never yields
May I forever love only THEE Lord and my two sons
Let me teach them how evil hides in three words
How maidens, so beautiful are equally cruel and icy inside
I shall tell them not to search, rather let GOD provide
Listen and HE will say when to make their hearts ready for love
HE will lower their shield and blade and send the love of their life
For this old warrior that opportunity is dead and long gone
Again standing upright, I have forced my tears to dry up
This attempt at love never was, I erase it from my mind
I shall burn all memories of my loveless mistakes
See affection and passion as only vipers slithering a top of Medusa's head
Awake no more true love, this is not your world, this is not your time
TRILOGY OF THE POST-MODERN BUREAUCRACY
Edit here, edit there,
Edit the edited, until --
Malaprop utters her correct word,
Baudelaire loses his splendid verse.
Rule this, rule that,
Rule the ruled, until --
Don Quixote builds his delicate windmill,
Colette finds her non-fictional character.
Count in, count out,
Count the counted, until --
O’hara awakens from her masochism,
Steinbeck weighs his grapes of joy.
Brian B. Lin
READING BETWEEN THE LINES
By Bonnie LaFleur
In a different time
Or a different place
WOULD WE BE LOVERS?
I try not to love you
Though not by choice
I KNOW IT CAN’T BE
I notice every tilt of your head
I drown in your eyes when they turn my way
WHILE I AM AWAKE BUT
Even having never felt you against me
I know every inch of you
MY SLEEP IS FULL OF YOU
I run my hands over your soft skin
While breathing the scent of you
ALONE AT NIGHT
I feel your soul touch mine
Wondering if it is fantasy
I THINK OF YOU
Will my heart at last rest?
These useless dreams of passion
AND THOUGH THE SADNESS OF IT FOLLOWS ME
Oh, if the time were not now
Would I know your lips against mine?
IN THE MOST PLEASANT OF DREAMS, ONLY THERE IT CAN BE TRUE
Tire tracks of love
I topple up the dusty path
In a drug induced
I rap on my own front door
Forgetting it's mine
Guilt bolted inside
To me and my reflection
Gently beckoning us away from this world
All I feel All i taste
Mom drowning in tears, her droplets
scaled the rough skin of her cheek
Obviously transparent now
Me. I ruined everything. Including
To look at her suffering, makes me feel the same
How could i not even bother??
Too late now
God already called her
To her new home
I'm stuck here with nothing but guilt
She'll be treated better there
Better than she ever was here
This cold place
Me? I'll fly downward
Instead of divinely floating high
My influencing love will go with me
It's him that should serve both our time.
MY LAST GOOD-BYE
I wrote this poem in memory of my mother who died of breast cancer in 1981.
I sit alone thinking of you, sometimes I don't know what to do. It’s been many years since you've passed away, but for me if seems like only yesterday. I look at your picture and I still cry, I don't understand why you had to die. When I think of all you've missed in my life-how you won't be there when I become somebody's wife-I get an awful pain in my heart, it really tears me apart. When things go wrong-making me sad and blue-I just want to run to you. Then I remember that you're no longer here and I can't help but shed a tear. Even though you're gone and I miss you so much, I will always love you a bunch. I will never forget you, your memory will always be in my heart. It’s just so sad that we have to be apart. Even though I feel angry and hurt because you had to die, I will always love you and this will be my last good-bye to you.
I run and I run,
but still there’s on end.
My i'm so tired my friend.
I wish I could sit on a tree or a log,
but all I see around me is a hollow bog.
When I get to home again,
I'll sit down and never wander off again.
Indoors by lamplight, cold and insular
They grow old gratefully
Hoarding a wealth of grudges.
(Blind rats in wineless cellars
Keep their secrets.)
They will judge you before
Looking at you,
Cadaverous old sticks
Stroking the grain of prejudice.
Music is anathema,
Is blackened dusty books
In airless attics.
They do not despair of the world,
Being unaware of it, except as
Monochrome newsreels with the sound turned down.
A death's head protects
Their uninvadeable islands.
They do not
Ride the backs of porpoises by moonlight
Or dive at dawn to seek the undreamed
Richness of the deep,
The mysteries of mermaids
Or the transformations of drowned sailors.
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Page Copyright © AHApoetry.com 2001.
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